i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

hey man can i bum a couple of fire arrows

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

im not horny it’s something else entirely. really wish there was a word for it

i think i just want to run. Like i just want to run

give a man a NEW LAMBORGHINI and he'll SLEEP for a day. teach a man KNOWLEDGE and he'll DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS

When i was 13 i decided to become penpals with the surviving members of the heavens gate cult who were still maintaining their email/website/book sales and they responded to me a couple of times before my mom found out and i genuinely couldnt fathom why she would be upset with me

Its Nice Out So Today I Will Develop My Theory Of Playing Outside

Bitch that’s the tubby custard machine 😂 *image depicts a vast monstrous infernal engine using hundreds of spiderlike arms of black iron to shove the writhing bodies of naked, emaciated humans into its blazing maw*

a warthog is a thog specialized for use in war

i have tested positive for tzatziki

Itd be funny as fuck if the world operated like how people with social anxiety think it does. Like what if you got on a bus and everyone was like wow look at that piece of shit loser. Get off the bus you ugly bastard

Last night was a thousand year old scrap of linen paper painstakingly re-assembled by a team of archeologists

Learning And Growing Dot Com

this is going to sound like a shitpost but i promise it isnt: there is something intensely poetic about wendy williams's whole thing about The Killer