the answer is always to change your perspective. or rather, to stop allowing your brain to spiral, stop allowing external factors to play such a big role, etc etc. all that brings is doom. but thats the hardest thing to realize (and accept) when you are depressed bc often times it is circumstantial and its hard to see that your mind creates your own circumstances in a lot of ways. and i know thats woo woo and feels diminishing in the moment but its true. and if i could bestow any information onto the world like the fairies did to sleeping beauty, it would be that very revelation— as someone who spent a lot of her life believing there was nothing and no one in the world for her.. of course you have to get yourself to the point where you can realize and change but its really really the key. the best tool i ever developed was learning how to separate myself from that voice in my head. and its hard but it really has been the only way i’ve gotten through any of my adult life. and im not trying to say look at me i beat my mental illness. i havent. but this has made the biggest difference. and others have said the same. once you release your identity from your depression, the answers and solutions come. it’s the most difficult, counter intuitive thing but its possible. instead of someone release me from this curse— RELEASE YOURSELF!!!! its YOU who has the power. we all know it deep down but it’s scary. sometimes we don’t have faith in ourselves, or even trust ourselves. thats the starting point. we don’t feel like ourselves within our depression. transfer the permission to the good, joyful version of yourself to control your own life and thoughts. thats all it is. ok bye. thoughts from my fried rice and egg lunch.

the messages i reviewed from my higher power the days leading up to my birthday could save the world