December can be a difficult month. 

Everyone is excited for something - a holiday they celebrate, snow, days with no school/work, plans for the new year. So many things to look forward for and feel joyful about. But maybe you don’t feel joyful right now. 

Maybe you’re going through a hard time. Maybe you feel worried or sad or angry or empty. It can be so difficult to accept that this is not “the happiest time of the year” when seemingly everyone else is so happy. 

But it’s okay not to be in a “winter is so wonderful” mood. Your feelings are okay. You don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed. 

You’re allowed to feel. 

With all my love, 

Governments are not businesses. A business’s number one goal is to make a profit. That’s it. A government’s role is, ideally, to collect an amount of resources that its citizens collectively decided was fair, then use those resources (usually taxes) to provide services the People decided was necessary. Water, roads, electricity, busses, trains, libraries, education, and (if you’re not American) medical care.

Public services are exactly that: a service. Their sole mission is to provide said service to the public. Full stop. Profit isn’t a factor because their goal (ideally) isn’t to make money, it’s simply to provide the service for which they were created.

The post office is not a business. The library is not a business. Public transportation is not a business. K-12 schools are not a business. Any money you pay them outside what is given to them by taxes is to help cover costs. That’s why using the printers at a public library is cheaper than printing the same amount of pages at a for-profit print-shop. It’s why there are some places in the United States, such as communities in Alaska, where private companies like DHL, UPS, and Fedex simply refuse to make deliveries because it makes zero business sense to ship parcels at great expense to isolated, low-population areas.

The Post Office however, has a Constitution Mandate that every American is entitled to mail service. It is, in the parlance of conservatives, a God-Given Right. Thus, they are the only ones that deliver things out to those isolated communities. When you take profit motive out of the equation and focus purely on the service it was created to provide, you have a system that is built to work for everyone.

Are these institutions perfect? No, of course not. They’re large, bulky, aged, bureaucratic behemoths that are constantly underfunded and are making due with the bare minimum of resources to stay functional.

There’s a reason that the United States Postal Service for years has been actively sabotaged by conservatives who had a financial interest in private package carrier companies and are hostile to the idea of mail-in voting. There’s a reason that libraries and schools for years have been struggling for funding, and why they’re now targets of “culture war” fanatics who think privately run but tax-funded schools should teach kids more about Jesus and librarians offering free books to children is “grooming”

There’s a reason Americans pay the most for healthcare but have some of the worst healthcare outcomes of any western country.

School cafeteria workers used to be unionized, directly-hired employees of a school district. My best friend’s mom raised three kids and could afford a house on the salary she used to make doing that job. Now most cafeteria workers are contractors that get paid much less to do the same work, serving lower-quality food. Your taxes still pay for it, but their employer - the private third-party service company - is the one pocketing the difference. Janitors and cleaning staff are also a heavily “outsourced” occupation.

Taxation is theft? No, taking public infrastructure that was built by unionized employees and paid for by public tax revenue only to sell it off to private corporations so they do a shittier job, pay the workers less, and charge us all more for the privilege is fucking theft.

So, I'm doing an EPQ on how aromantic and asexual people are discriminated against and I need primary research.

If you see this and have the time, could you fill out this form?

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/19CCWn6WTHQXC1JXKuK0i59GTN96JDlRvicyW0E7JOhw/edit

You don't need to be aro/ace or part of the LGBTQ+ community to do it.

they don't need to be problematic or upsetting or whatever

you can just Not Vibe with them and block them to avoid it

National Clean Your Home Month, aka NaClYoHo or "Salty Pirates" month, is soon to be upon us!

Each November, I "host" NaClYoHo, where participants work to make their living spaces more comfortable and pleasant. The full manifesto is at the link, but the basic premise is that each day in November you put on a podcast, tv show, playlist, or other media, and clean or organize some aspect of your home.

It's meant to be a low-stress way to both do a yearly cleaning and also participate in an intensive project like National Novel Writing Month without having to write a novel. I'll be posting about it again before November kicks off, but I thought I'd link to the manifesto well ahead of time, so people could brace themselves. :D

You don't have to completely clean a home or even a room. The ideal practice is, in fact, to ask yourself, what would be one brief thing you could do to make your space more livable? And then do that. Marathon cleaning is actually contrary to the philosophy of NaClYoHo, which is to use external media (a podcast, a TV show, a playlist) to limit the time you spend daily so as to pace out your energy. I rarely spend an hour a day on it, usually closer to twenty minutes. I run the damn thing and I don't even manage every single day in November, usually.

I hate cleaning. I also have two cats and ADHD. I started this before my diagnosis as a coping mechanism I didn't understand that I needed. My home is comfortable, not spotless, but over the years this system has helped me install storage, fix holes in walls, clean the bathroom sink and the stove hood at least once a year, buy a vacuum and a trash can, change dead lightbulbs, finish crafting projects, and frame all my posters, among other things.

It's okay not to be perfect and it's actually healthy not to spend all your time cleaning or feeling guilty because you aren't. This is just a fun way to consciously examine what you could improve and take steps to achieve it.

Unfuck Your Habitat by Rachel Hoffman - a great how-to book (and website! And. Tumblr!) based on the argument that you deserve to have a space you can live in, and here is how to make that happen even if you’re a spoonie/depressed/allergic to routines. UFYH also gives you clear directions on how to clean specific rooms, and there are printable to-do lists if you’re a millennial who owns a printer (like me) and enjoy ticking off boxes. Also the moving guides are so good!

Real life application: I love the 20-10 and the 45-15 approach to cleaning. I break mine up a little differently, using podcasts or audiobook chapters as my “pause point”. It’s nice to know I don’t have to keep cleaning the whole house. I can just do one room now and then go do something else later. (I rabbit-hole into cleaning really easily so this has saved me from marathoning every other week.)

How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis - this book (and her site, Struggle Care) really dives into the reality of trying to run a household & home while having small kids and being neurodivergent. It gives a really gentle approach and encourages you to chuck out the rule book. It has a lot of practical tips and workarounds for maintaining a nice space without guilt, which I appreciate.

Real life application: Because of this book, I moved my daughter’s clothes into the main hallway cupboard, out of her bedroom. She never uses her own room to get dressed anyway, so she was reluctant about making a whole extra trip, and not wanting to put things away… and now it’s just easier. Of course it’s not “normal” that she wants to get dressed in my room, but if I body double with her to get her dressed, it happens faster and we get to school on time. And I can drink my coffee in bed. Win-win! At some point she’ll take over getting herself dressed, without needing to be body doubled, and we can switch it back.

Organizing Solutions for People With ADHD by Susan C Pinsky - This has been my go-to organizing book for probably the last four or five years. It has a lot of practical tips and advice and will help you set up a household from scratch if you’re moving out. It’s a little dated (I think the landlines and mail signal that — shift to online billing and mobile phones does require a different approach) but the practical advice is off-the-charts good.

Real life application: I no longer have any hidden storage, because I know that if I don’t see something, I won’t remember I have it. This has prevented me from buying things twice (a common ADHD thing). Also, I now put hooks everywhere. And bins. I have so many bins. But there is no trash on desks or tables or on the floor, because there is always a bin right there!

I got heavily downvoted.

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

About a guy who escaped North Korea

He said living there was like living in a pot

And he grew up there, so he grew into the shape of the pot

But once he was out

And the pot was gone

He was still in the shape of the pot

And he had to work really hard to grow outside that shape

I think its the same with alot of things

Art, gender presentation, decoration prefrences, food, hobbies

you happy in favor of

what kept you alive.

I go through the drive through at the taco bell. This is the same taco bell that, three years prior, asked us how many sauces we wanted. My roommate responded with "we'd like to get lost in the sauce."

To which he said "lost in the sauce. Ok boss!"

And gave us an entire brown bag full of sauce packets that we are still working through to this day.

So our conclusion is that this store is operated by stoners, which is on par for a taco bell.

But anyhow, 2021, all I want is a burrito.

Pull up in the drive thru, order burrito. Compliment the cashier's nails, take the bag without checking, drive off.

I get home. I carry the bag all the way to the kitchen and set it down. The sound it makes is not the sound of a beefy five layer burrito. It rattles.

I realize now that something is wrong.

I look inside.

I find this:

Which I realize now in 2022 after hanging out with potheads that this is considerably more than 100$ of THC products but that's unimportant. I sit there for a few moments and just kind of stare at them asking myself

WHY does this KEEP HAPPENING to me?

Girlfriend comes in and sees this.

"Did someone pay you in smokeables again?"

"No, this is the new beefy 5 layer burrito from taco bell. Obviously."

I could keep them, but what would I DO with them? I didnt know any smokers at the time that I could sell them to. You cant really... pawn THC products in my state because it's a consumable and uhhhh... possession of such products is probably illegal? Fucking I dont know, if there's a law about it everyone seems to be ignoring it.

And I cannot stress this enough: I dont smoke! And yet people keep handing me these things for some reason.

But more importantly: it is now 6:00, I am starving, and I did not get my burrito. So i make a decision and i grab the bag of vape carts and I go back to get the food I ordered.

I go inside and stand at the counter. I quietly tell the cashier that I ordered a beefy five layer burrito, and I got this instead. I lift the bag. I gently drop the bag. It makes the very non beefy burrito rattle sound.

The cashier knows by sound what is in the bag. Her eyes go wide.

"I'm not mad," I tell her. "I dont want anyone in trouble. I'm just very hungry and would like the food I ordered."

She very quietly takes the bag beneath the counter and produces six coupons for a free taco. "We'll get your order to you in a moment, thank you for your patience."

I am... containing my urge to burst out in laughter because this urban legend stuff. This is 'tumblr will call this fake' material. This is 'that happened to my friends cousin' kind of story material and I'm just... waiting for my burrito.

The manager on duty approaches me and says:

"I understand you received something uhh.. other than your order." She thinks I'm gonna tell corporate. This shit is too funny for corporate. I am not telling corporate.

"I dont want anyone in trouble," I repeated. "I'd just like to make sure it gets back to its owner and make sure I get the burrito I ordered."

"Right. Right. Right away."

She gives me six more free taco coupons.

It is deathly quiet back there and I am trying so hard not to laugh at the absurdity of all of this. Like... how did I get here? What happened back there to lead me to this awkward situation? What farcical theater piece am I now a minor character in? Will I exit left persued by a bear?

The cashier returns with a bag. "Once again, I'm REALLY sorry."

I take the bag. I check it this time.

This is indeed a burrito.

"No need, all is well."

Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria

Beyond the Black Door by A.M. Strickland

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen

What We Devour by Linsey Miller

The Grimrose Girls by Laura Pohl

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger

This Dark Descent by Kalyn Josephson

The Kindred by Alechia Dow

The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath

The Final Curse of Ophelia Cray by Christine Calella

Silver in the Mist by Emily Victoria

Not Your Backup by C.B. Lee

The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko

The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong

Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim

Love Letters for Joy by Melissa See

Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

Aces Wild by Amanda Dewitt

I Am Ace by Cody Daigle-Orians

ACE by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality by Sherronda J Brown

I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?

These people seem to get it, though. It's very simple in places. It's basically the cookbook for people who think, 'I'm really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can't think of anything else to cook that won't exhaust me'.

And it's free!