Asexual Visibility and Education Network

What is the Aspec Glossary?

Abro- is a microlabel prefix that indicates that the person in question experiences attraction of that type to a fluid or changing degree. "Abro-" comes from Greek, meaning "delicate" or "graceful." Abro is not necessarily an exclusively aspec label.

Abro is more broad than flux, in that the genders one feels attraction to can change, (which is not typically the case for flux identities), and it can also describe attraction changing from being mono to multi, as well as allo to aspec. Not all abros are aspec, but many are.

Abroromantics (abromantics) may fluctuate between being alloromantic and aromantic, or between being monoromantic and multiromantic, or between being romantically attracted to different genders. Abroromantics may identify as arospec, or they may not.

Abrosexuals may fluctuate between being allosexual and asexual, or between being monosexual and multisexual, or between being sexually attracted to different genders. Abrosexuals may identify as acepec, or they may not.

1. One day, when I was about 8 to 10 yo, my friends and I were drawing our ideal families (maybe it was a school assignment? I don't remember). I drew what I now know is a queerplatonic family.

2. Never have I ever fantasised about my wedding day. Ever. Never had a dream dress, never thought about who I might choose as my maid of honour, never wondered where I would go on a honeymoon, nothing. Zero plans and fantasies.

3. When I was about 12 and all my friends were starting to discover what sex is, and they were getting crushes, making their first double entendres, learning how to enhance their beauty etc., I was still completely oblivious to all of this and they would make fun of me.

4. Since everyone seemed to have some sort of celebrity crush as well, to avoid lagging behind I decided I would have a couple of those too. I chose Bill Kaulitz (yep, the Tokio Hotel pretty boy) and Avril Lavigne. In my dream dates with them the wildest thing I would do was ask them to teach me how to do my hair and makeup like them.

5. Never have I ever fantasised about someone in a sexual way with me. Neither a real person, nor a fictional character.

6. Even though I'm not sex repulsed, I often skip through sex scenes (or I would go to the bathroom or grab a snack, before dvds and then streaming services were a thing), and usually through teeth-rotting romantic ones, too.

7. One of my best friends and I would frequently share the same celeb crushes, or get crushes at the same time. When that happened, she would write self-insert fanfictions, meanwhile I would get a haircut and buy male clothing in a style similar to theirs. Which at some point lead me to briefly believe I was trans or maybe lesbian, but that's another story. Anyway, it took me years to realise the most common approach on average is hers, not mine.

8. With the most serious face, I once asked my friend, who was studying marketing and advertisement, why companies rely so much on sex and sensuality to sell their products. I was, like, 21 already btw.

9. The first time I had sex (with some guy I had met, just out of curiosity) all I could think was "that's it? This is what y'all are so crazy about?". I convinced myself people just over-exaggerate the marvels of sex because it's the cool and socially required thing to do, so I started to adequate myself even though I honestly found the experience boring af.

10. It took me one full month just to decide if I wanted to date a friend who confessed his feelings to me over a Messenger Hotmail chat one day. As I've already said in another post, I had to consciously force myself to say things like "I love you" and be romantic with him, even though I was, in fact, very fond of him and I wouldn't have minded spending the rest of my life with him. It didn't happen and it was definitely for the best because we stayed friends and it feels much better.

11. I once told a university colleague I don't see sex as a necessity and I could easily go my entire life without it. He looked at me baffled and said "what?? I can't even go more than four months without it!". What I thought was "why are you so weak?", but thankfully I just said "idk, I'm just like that 😊".

What is the Aspec Glossary?

A QPR (queerplatonic relationship) is a type of relationship that does not conform to typical expectations for a romantic relationship. Aspec folks are often in QPRs, but they are not exclusive to aspecs. Anyone can be in a queerplatonic relationship.

What exactly a QPR looks like is determined by the people in that relationship, but, in general, it is a platonic relationship with the same level of intimacy and commitment that is typically expected of a romantic relationship, but without feelings of romantic love.

A queerplatonic relationship is called such because it "queers" what is expected of a platonic relationship.

QPRs are no less important than romantic relationships, just different. The terms of the relationship are defined only by the people in the relationship. In this sense, QPR is an umbrella term for a whole host of relationships, wherein the only stipulation is that it does not involve romantic love.

QPRs may look like platonic marriages, friends with benefits, etc.