in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives

d e v o n
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AnasAbdin
Keni

@theartofmadeline
hello vonnie
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

#extradirty

titsay

JVL
Today's Document
styofa doing anything
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
noise dept.
DEAR READER
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Stranger Things
almost home
KIROKAZE

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@fandom-susceptible
in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives

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Game where the ancient hero is awakened from the deathless sleep of centuries in the hour of their people's greatest need, only to find that civilisation is thriving and there are no obvious threats on the horizon; the game then becomes a fish-out-of-water detective sim as they try to figure out what woke them up, and also solve other, smaller mysteries along the way.
We would fully accept any Japanese buckaroo
Foreigners will never understand how someone like Rawhide Kobayashi would immediately become a beloved local fixture in whatever small American town he ended up in.
every single time someone pulls the "How would you AMERICANS like it if someone came to AMERICA and" reversal, the answer is always "we'd fucking love it"
@kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
Your tags summed up the exact feeling I had about this
I just Googled the Swedish-Japanese guy in the OP, and according to this interview, his Japanese name was given to him by the master gardener he was apprenticed under:
“The family name ‘Murasame’ was given to me by my master. The given name ‘Tatsumasa’ is a combination of ‘dragon’ (tatsu), the [zodiac] year when I was born, and one character from my master’s name,” says Murasame."
So I think maybe it's less like naming yourself 'Brandon McFreedom' and more like moving to the states to work under a veteran car mechanic named Bud McLean, and then having him turn to you after a few years on the job, and say "Son, it's time for you to become an American so you can open up your shop. And when that day comes, I think the world should know you by a new name: McLeo GM Corvette."
Named by his superior by conventions one would apply to a super chill stray cat
love my pumpkin
scary my pumpkin
When reading fanfic keep in mind that for professional literature:
Short story: under 7,500
Novelette: between 7,500 and 17,500
Novella: between 17,500 and 40,000
Novel: over 40,000
Fics over 40k are literally a novel written and shared for free. If you have written a 40k+ fic, you have literally written a novel.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.
Tubi is where I found this gem:
wait this wasn’t a “poob has it for you” bit?
tubi doesnt have what youre looking for but it does have a lot of things you would never have thought to
please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.
I’ve seen a lot of fics where Ilya is the hornier half of Shane&Ilya but may I present for your consideration: sexually repressed autistic man who was denying his desires for almost a decade and is now able to unmask a bit and also get fucked literally whenever he wants.
Shane, post-outing, is insatiable. He is cornering his husband in the equipment closet at the Cens arena, crowding him into the wall, “Jesus fucking Christ your cock in these sweatpants, baby, I need a taste,” sinking to his knees and swallowing Ilya’s dick before he’s even all the way hard (which lasts like half a second lol.)
Ilya and Shane walk into the locker room 10 minutes later, Ilya looking slightly dazed and flushed and Shane’s hair not fully back in place, the slightest smirk on his face.
Shane is drifting awake wrapped around Ilya like an octopus at 2 a.m., face nestled in the hollow of his throat, warm weight like a balm to his nervous system and Shane is so fucking happy and content he can’t help but stim a little bit, shivering and rubbing his face against Ilya’s neck and jaw, stubble sharp but in a good way, and rubbing his legs against Ilya’s like a little cricket and then he’s grinding against him, Ilya blinking awake to an armful of snuggly sleepy Shanya who needs to be full, please, Ilya, needs his cock so bad.
Shane is making a rule that they go home for lunch when they can because the chance to have Ilya alone for 45 minutes in the middle of the days is irresistible. Sometimes it’s stumbling through the door and quick, desperate handjobs on the couch, and once in a while when the team is just reviewing tape that morning, Shane will prep and plug himself, murmuring to Ilya on the way in the door that he “got ready for lunch a little early.” Ilya is painfully hard for four fucking hours, losing his train of thought every time he sees Shane shift the slightest bit in his seat, awkwardly carrying some papers and files in front of crotch to try to disguise what’s happening.
When they get home Ilya rims him until he’s crying and then fucks him through at least one more orgasm, maybe 2 and if they’re a couple minutes late coming back, well, traffic was bad, okay? Yes, Bood, the 1 p.m. on a Wednesday rush hour specifically in the three miles between their house and practice arena, no I’m fine I’m not limping, just tweaked my back at practice yesterday.
(There are two sets of fingertip bruises on Shane’s hips that were definitely not there yesterday.)
australian sour patch kids have gluten in them i am truly at my fucking limit im crashing out im waging war against wheat idgaf anymore
oh is that one of those things where ableist companies put in traces of common allergens so they can just avoid the cost of making it safe
WHAT
A trend we predicted in 2016 continues.
US based but it’s similar reasons in other countries. and of course many companies have international locations. idk if that’s why it’s happening with sour patch kids but this is a thing
I cannot even explain how ANGRY I am at this.
My nephew is very allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, and sesame. Last year my sister discovered all hot dogs and hamburger buns now contain sesame. Not "may contain", but listed in the ingredients. This year basically every brand of sliced bread also now contains sesame, making it very difficult to find bread items he can eat.
They're just adding it to their products, so they can just list it as an ingredient and not bother with worrying about cross contamination. And they aren't even bothering with telling anyone. Capitalism is going to kill us all.
"Which brings us back to Kellogg’s. Back in 2016, the company found a way around the added burden and expense of complying with the FSMA: they simply began adding trace amounts of peanut flour to their cracker products. Doing so allowed them to list peanuts as an ingredient of the product, freeing them from having to prevent cross-contact.
At the time, Kellogg’s notified Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) about the impending change and left it to them to warn the allergic community. In this case, Pearson’s didn’t even bother as near as we can tell."
I wonder if that’s part of the reason behind my seeing an upswing in products adding corn starch or corn flour to things that didn’t have those before? <- rhetorical question, because I’m certain that’s what’s going on.
ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.
ⓘ reblog to fuckign BITE your mutuals

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One of the most common complaints about Star Trek I saw growing up was “why don’t they use the holodeck more? If you were living in that time period and you could just make anything you wanted anytime you wanted and live out fantasies forever, why aren’t more people addicted to the holodeck?”
And then generative ai was created.
And now I get it. I get why nobody on Star Trek spends all their free time in the holodeck. I get why all the crew are putting on stage plays, and holding music recitals, and building models, and playing poker. I get why everyone was so skeptical and mean to the Doctor on Voyager. I get why the ONE TIME we see someone obsessed with the holodeck it infringes on people’s likeness rights and permissions.
Because fundamentally at the end of the day we are human beings and we ENJOY working with our hands and making REAL human connections. A person who learns to play an instrument is always going to be viewed as an artist over someone who asks the computer to generate music for them.
Even as recent as Lower Decks they were making fun of the fact that the crew were putting on amateurish plays and holding music recitals. But after living with Ai for so long and seeing how detrimental it’s been to the world… I’d much rather watch my friends put on a stage play than “participate” in a holodeck movie.
What’s most amazing about this is that it was completely unintentional. I do not for one second think that the writers of the time in the 90’s were really thinking about the larger issues that generative ai and chatGTP would cause. How could they? Text to speech back then was still robotic as heck. More likely they wrote that stuff in because it was cheaper to film on sets the owned than try to build, film, or rent out different locations each week.
That’s the down to earth logistical real reason Data is reciting poems about his cat or Riker is in a play put on in ten forward. It’s just cheaper to do that than to build a whole new set or move production to a new location.
Yet at the end of the day, I think that unintentionally speaks to a very human need that ai is making more and more prevalent to us day in and day out.
And that’s the fact nobody wants to deal with generative SLOP.
Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.
“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”
“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”
oh that's what the dwarves were doing
It's really funny to take Spanish with people from different Spanish-speaking countries, because the ones from South American countries are like "Yeah no one uses vosotros, we don't know what it's doing here" and the ones from Europe are like "If you don't give our beloved second-person plural its due respect, the Hounds will find you"
Why would they speak spanish in europe
Spain.......
I love how tumblr is full of people who aren’t afraid to hang around on the bottom rung of the moron ladder. You make me feel better about every stupid thing I’ve ever done in my life including the time I glued fake moustaches to my eyebrows.
are we gonna skip past port o' rico
did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY
Here’s a community reminder that the New York Post is owned by Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox News, and is generally considered to be an arm of the far right’s propaganda machine.
They just do a slightly better job of pretending they’re centrist or liberal than Fox News, because their goal is not to sway conservatives, but to sway everyone to the left of the far right.
They're really trying to tan-suit-obama him, eh?
I think everyone with expendable formal wear and at a low risk for drowning should wade in a swimming pool at the shallow end and take a photo.

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I’ve been reading about werewolves on Wikipedia and I just have to say. “Werewolves are warriors that descend into hell to fight demons” kicks unbelievable amounts of ass as a concept
New goddess idea: She’s an earth goddess of the new age who’s domain is spinning and weaving, but specifically spinning and weaving gigantic structural steel cables for construction and other industrial purposes. Her skin is steel grey and hard to the touch and her hair is like long dredlocks of woven steel. She laughs at shitty architecture deigns that will fall apart if actually built and protects well-made bridges and buildings she likes. She might warn you of unforseen danger if you always wear your proper PPE.
Okay now what do I name her
O’sha.
Obviously
THAT’S PERFECT
I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR QUALITY WORKPLACE SAFETY REGULATION PUNS
May O’sha bless you with earplugs that are comfortable and respirators that fit perfectly.
And good steel. Always good steel.
May your steel deliveries be always on time and your rebar strong
I’m just gonna…. put this here…..
hope you don’t mind
You know how you occassionally find a nugget of gold on this hellsite? Found one.
May the blessings of O'sha give you both strength and flexibility.
You guys don’t mind me leaving a tulpa symbol here do you
Let’s bring O'sha to life!!