Mazarine Drake

apparently, cats' kidneys tend to be the thing that takes them down, something about their bodies being unable to self-clean their kidneys, and the vaccine is supposed revitalize the body's ability to do just that. It would be very VERY fucking cool to have cats suddenly reaching 30 years of age be the normal thing.

dude cracked the case about WHY kidneys fail, across the board as far as i can tell. turns out there's a specific molecule whose job it is to attach to waste and signal macrophages to come eat it. it remains inactive in cats for some reason, but the molecule is still there. basically what he's done is found the switch to activate them. this will be profound not only for our domestic babies, but for big cats too - especially cheetahs!

although his research was focused on cats, it's already being used to develop drugs for humans too!

on top of that, since these molecules are tags for waste, this could also dramatically lower the rate of fatty liver disease, liver cancer, urinary crystals, rheumatoid arthritis, and even some neurological cases! like, they're hoping it may have an impact on parkinson's and alzheimers, but it DOES have an impact on stroke recovery. like. holy shit.

furthermore, he's insisting that the feline drug be affordable if and when it rolls out onto the market. he wants this to be something anyone can get for their cat!! idk how much sway he'll have over the human drug, but hopefully enough that it, too, won't be that expensive.

annnnnd in his research that he's still doing for the human side of things, he's found a potential link between this molecule and estrogen. in the 20,000 samples he's tested, women between ages 10 and 29 had the highest amount of this molecule present in their blood (a higher amount means Something Fucky is going on, essentially. There's a higher amount of waste the body is trying to clean out) but it drops down to be almost equal amongst men and women after menopause. it hasn't been looked into yet, but fuck, just the fact it's noted and known and probably WILL be looked into soon??? imagine if this is what leads to figuring out all the various ways the ovaries and uterus fucks with people and how to fix it. or even like, maybe there's something about estrogen that makes it work better. who knows! but it's rad the link is there to be researched :D

As for the study itself, the 360 day follow up on stage 3 kidney failure kitties showed that the control had a survival rate of about 20%, while the test group had a survival rate of 80%

Gym buddies

Like plenty of local boys before him, Neil has come home to the stretch of Australian coast where he was born. Unlike most of them, he trails fame, fans and property damage in his wake. He is also a 1,000 kg (2,200 pound) elephant seal. In June, the bellowing and blubbery 5-year-old mammal hauled himself onto land for his twice-yearly tour of beachside towns in southern Tasmania state after months of feeding at sea. That’s posing problems now that he weighs as much as a small car and has a social media following more than double Tasmania’s human population. His rampage through local infrastructure has claimed bent traffic bollards, a sign warning the public about seals and a fence that did not survive Neil’s attempt to vault it. The rest of the time he lies placidly any place he likes, which is sometimes the middle of the road, bringing towns he visits to a standstill. Neil, the only male elephant seal to visit Tasmania in years, has commanded an enthralled TikTok following of 1.4 million in part because he acts like kind of a jerk. During this visit to shore, his 12th, his crimes have included picking fights with parked cars and smashing through barriers erected to keep him off roads.

The duality of Neil

something something lying to cops

Have you heard the word?

WHAT’s the word?

He’s a comin’

WHO’s a comin’?

Paul’s a comin’!

PAUL’s a comin’?!