If tumblr ever does go down find me over in these spots
Discord - Randi8949
Tiktok - sleepycannibal

Origami Around
taylor price

tannertan36

Janaina Medeiros
Acquired Stardust
Misplaced Lens Cap
AnasAbdin
art blog(derogatory)

@theartofmadeline
Stranger Things
Sweet Seals For You, Always
NASA
Sade Olutola

Game of Thrones Daily
Today's Document

★

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin

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@fanaticalfunhouse
If tumblr ever does go down find me over in these spots
Discord - Randi8949
Tiktok - sleepycannibal

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 96
Macaque (Lego Monkie Kid)
Discord (My Little Pony)
Hugh Morris (Tomodachi Life)
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 94
Loki (Marvel)
Ken the Butcher (The Gaslight District)
Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen 0)
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 95
Louis de Pointe du Lac (Interview With The Vampire)
Crusnr Colven (Psychopomp)
Uncle Iroh (Avatar the last airbender)
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 1 Part 96
Macaque (Lego Monkie Kid)
Discord (My Little Pony)
Hugh Morris (Tomodachi Life)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The only reason elephants are endangered is bc Arthur and John keep eating them all
Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
Tumblr’s Pasta Dinner
Noodles
Marinara
Salt (for water)
Red food dye
Cheese topping
Edible glitter
Side of chicken
Garlic bread on the side
Breadsticks on the side
@theleagueoflegendsfan69 was a big part in the creation of this one
I told my grandma about this, she said it’s a bad idea, she also said when I went to college she thought I’d be normal stupid and not whatever this is
This is fine
I’ve been trying to calculate how many dry spaghetti noodles are in one teaspoon, my math says two, that sounds wrong but they’re also long so idk
Me calculating everything based on the amount of edible glitter I currently have (1.5 teaspoons) and adding the dye and salt to the water before adding 4 spaghetti noodles
the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜
eel deets from @whitefangthefightingwolf
I laughed to hard at this fucking thing.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ambitious indie project this, surprise box-office hit that, iron lung (production budget: $3mil) is the 'someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this, my family is dying' tweet.
set construction: $800
cast & crew wages: $1,200 + uber eats
fake blood (assuming generous discount on bulk purchase): $2,000,000 i am so not kidding i did the math this is nuts
editing: average adult body-weight equivalent in monster energy drinks
update when markiplier announced he's producing the dvd/blu-ray himself i was like cool he's personally supervising the process and then he was like no i mean i'm making them myself at my house and i imagined some kind of complicated gargantuan contraption dutifully chugging along 24/7 blowing up this man's electricity bill and then he was like
anyway if you buy an iron lung dvd/blu-ray: it was made on a printer-sized machine. at markiplier's house.
goodbye discord hello drinkting motor oil
these brownies seem a little strong
well if i have any complaints i can just call potassium about it but im too meek so i wont
I saw this bird and had to draw it! a rosy bourke parakeet
when I was like 15 we went to Rome and my mum unwittingly piled us into one of those fake scam taxis that was basically a mob car with “definitely a 100% genuine taxi” taped to the window.
anyway I have no regrets bc he drove us around at like 1000 kmph blasting some italian classical music station through pimp my ride subwoofers, blew every traffic light, and at one point stopped in the middle of a ring road intersection to get out and cross 3 lanes of traffic and have a fist fight with what I can only assume was a rival fake taxi driver. he tried to overcharge us but my mum was like ‘no I looked up the journey prices before I got here’ and he was like lol fair enough have a nice trip and rocketed off into the night
this is why I will never support lyft or uber
(via @amandatheangrygirl)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i’m a nonpracticing homestuck. i don’t really believe anymore and its just what i grew up with but i still observe the high holy days
some of yall dont believe me so unfortunately in order to clear my (horrible) name heres proof
happy 4/13
Happy 4/13
hey guys check it out I can do a frontside 180 with my stomach haha
hopital
just 4 u. I braved Phone Art while on Turbo Morphine (I think they called it dilaudid. it's Turbo Morphine 2 me)
oh ur super flexible? yeah well lmao can u do THIS??? (throws up and dies)
u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days
I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.
I found out my body cannot handle opioids.
my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.
do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA
they don't
GUESS WHOSE HOSPITAL IS GETTING HIT BY A TORNADO
made the saving throw 😎 not today, Satan
Y'ALL WILL NOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT BIOLOGICAL PROCESS STARTED LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY
THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO
I'd love to say this has been an educational experience, but unfortunately I run on Spite and simply vow to torture my blorbos even more now
which is saying something while being in the Vivisect the Half Dead Child fandom
I LIVED BITCH!!
Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!
I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this
I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately
starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet
this guy is getting the true moral of this story
I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation
you and me both! isn't nature beautiful
you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are
god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse
I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too
did I stutter
honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again
fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi
you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea
I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so
THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second
the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ
I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"
I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine
don't carbon date me like this
Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long
the abortion was a success! (/silly)
they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. it’s supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating
what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc it’s not like other girls, making it look like it’s trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadn’t happened yet!
the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? that’s rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?
to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.
all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like “I’m gonna be real with you I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m looking at but it’s giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgery”
I’m upset I don’t get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think I’ll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call
EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn
haha that was a fun near-death experience glad it's over though GUESS WHO JUST GOT FIRED
ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO
my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky
I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often
- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends
- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch
- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace ✌️
- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself
- Murderbot TV series good :)
- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen
- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation
- who the fuck is Job
please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole
can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes
I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus
no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay
can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them
no this is Patrick
I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already got two wishes fulfilled"
take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen
you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE
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