🙄

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

Rocky Horror is turning 50 next month and people still act like being gay was invented by Ellen in 1997

Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep were buried together in the 25th century BC and people still act like being gay was invented by renowned French poet Théophile de Viau 400 years ago

Gilgamesh and Enkidu "loved each other like man and wife" in 2700 BC and ppl STILL act like being gay was invented by Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep in the 25th century BC

lug and grug T4T scissor in cave 2.5 million year ago

FEAST FEAST FEAST FEAST FEAST

you couldn’t find one s to finish off the gives

right now on earth there’s a kindly old stray tomcat who just got adopted and he’s receiving enough food to fill his belly for the first time in his entire life and he’s so so so happy and he doesn’t even know that it’s going to be like this forever :)

Somebody found this last week and reminded me it existed, so I'mma bring it back to this blog because it's about ten days until some of you will need that last one. :D

This. Document it. A lot of asshole medpros shape up real quick when you demand they document their horseshit for the next person to see.

My god this is applicable to so many situations: this is in no way a WE situation.

I love all this. So good. And I once saw a friend pull out the ONLY ACCEPTABLE PARENT LINE in a situation like this: “Are you hurt, or just scared?” IT WAS LIKE MAGIC. The kid paused, inhaled, looked down at the body part in question, then looked back up and said, all calm again, “Oh, just scared!” and back to business as usual.

my beautiful wife ibuprofen