I can't believe Jesus called me a dick

Who do you think is driving the truck?

sharpay was right: this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and i just gotta say. i Do Not understand

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services

please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever been on tumblr before December 17 2018?

Okay but “the train of your hate rides on the rails of my indifference” is now part of my lexicon

*gets out a flat-head screwdriver*

i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2

doesn’t get much more interesting than this

I mean

Our slutty whores vs their useful rentals

people will be like 'proud mama bear 🐻💞👶👶' but then don't teach their kids how to catch whole salmons in their mouth at the river