Always exercise caution and negotiate what form of control you want someone to have over you. Please do not rush into something that makes you uncomfortable.

Many of these forms of control are more extreme and appropriate only for those in trusting, long term commitments. Absent of consent these things are not appropriate and even when consensual may only appeal to a specific set of masochistic subs that crave such forms of controlling and seemingly abusive behavior.

1) Use apps to keep control of their location

2) Require them to keep a food log and report to you what they eat

3) Make them share their email, Facebook, Tumblr, or other social media account passwords with you. Set up the security questions and recovery email so that only you can reset them.

4) Keep a safe where you can lock up some of personal items as punishment

5) Plan their outfits for them. Budget what money they can spend on clothes or just do the shopping for them so they never wear clothes they pick for themselves.

6. Gain admin access to their bank account so you can track their spending.

7. Set up a protocol for their behavior in public: how they should address you, when to speak to others, what sort of eye contact they should make. Punish them in private for breaking protocol.

8. Make them wear a fitness device so you can track their activity and sleep schedule and hold them accountable to it. Set a bedtime for them.

9. Keep them locked up in a chastity device.

10. Pick out their barber or hairstylist for them. Make them groom themselves to your liking.

11. If they work outside the home, have them set up their paychecks for direct deposit into YOUR bank account. Transfer a small stipend to them to restrict their spending.

12. Keep tabs on who their friends are and what relatives they speak to on a regular basis. Intervene when there’s a relationship that isn’t to your liking.

13. Use “parental” controls whenever necessary to limit their access to pornography so they will channel their attention to You alone.

14. Set up a protocol for punishment when you’re in a public area. One code word could mean they must get to a private area like a restroom for a spanking or lecture. Another code word could mean they’ll get punished later at home.

15. Find other submissives in the BDSM community that can befriend your sub and then report back to you on their private conversations. Use them as spies to find out how your sub REALLY feels.

16. Make your sub keep a diary that you have access to so you can read their personal thoughts.

17. Order for them when you go out to eat at restaurants.

18. Say things that subtly demean then when you’re with other people, like “he can’t ever think straight” or “they’re not very good at math.” You can also tell embarrassing stories. This will make them feel flustered and keep your power dynamic balanced properly.

19. If you decide to not be monogamous, create an arrangement where only you can decide who will fuck them and when.

20. Make them wear fetish or bondage gear under their clothes when they’re in public.

21. Make them check in with you at specific times when you’re apart.

22. Control the amount of water they drink and when they get to pee. Have fun watching them squirm when you’re out in public together. If they wet themselves- laugh, pretend you don’t know them, and leave them to find a ride home on their own.

23. Make them recite mantras to themselves throughout the day such as “I am property. I will serve my owner. My body belongs to Master.”

24. Enroll them in classes such as cooking or massage therapy so that they can serve you more fully.

25. Set up a protocol for how they will refer to themselves in public and in private. They might have a different protocol for each. Make them change their name or use a nickname if you wish when in public.

26. Give them a strict daily schedule. When they wake up. When they fix you breakfast. When they exercise. When they leave for work, etc.

27. Restrict what type of access they have to transportation. For example, if they can get to work by bus, make them sell their car and not renew their driver’s license to affect their ease of getting places without your permission.

28. Find a place where you can keep them chained up, such as a basement or closet space, when they won’t be fully necessary.

29. Use punishments accordingly to control their behavior. Some subs may require physical discipline while others may just require a lecture or restriction of privileges.

30. Try hypnosis as a means of reprogramming your sub’s mind to fully surrender to you.

31. Install surveillance cameras in your home that only you have access to. Even if you don’t regularly rewatch the footage, this will be enough for fuck with your sub’s mind.

32. Keep food and other household items locked up so that the sub can only access them with your permission.

33. Try to strike feelings of jealousy in your sub when they’re slacking. Pull up Grindr and scroll through it in front of him of find another sub to fuck and tell them how AMAZING the sex was.

34. Marry them so you will be in a legally binding agreement and cement their commitment to you. Find ways to arrange the pre-nup so they’ll be at an extreme disadvantage to leave the relationship.

35. Teach them to be very complementary and respectful to you while around other people. Reward them when they sing your praises and describe what an incredible partner you’ve been to them.

36. Give them incentive and appreciation for the service they’ve done for you. This will provide extra motivation for them.

37. Tattoo or pierce them if you wish.

38. Be the head of the household who decides any major financial decisions or if you decide to move homes. Consider the sub’s input but veto it if necessary.

39. Find ways the sub can make extra money on the side for you.

Time for another writing project! I’m going to think for precisely 5 minutes about every way I can think of to make a submissive feel exposed. Starting with of course anything I myself have done. After I write out the bullet points, I’ll expand on each idea I came up with.

Some of this stuff is public play. Public play can be dangerous (thus the thrill) in the regard that you can get arrested for it. Try some of these at your own risk.

- Kick a boy out of my apartment without clothes: This one is obviously a bit dangerous for the sub. The first time I ever did it was with a submissive who begged me to. I took his clothes and put them in a duffle bag. He had me hide them in a stairwell in my building on a specific floor. Then I kicked him out of my apartment and let him run down 3 flights and get dressed in a very exposed place. He was an expert at this little game and managed to get dressed before being seen by people descending the stairs above him. He had quite the little thrill.

- Lock clothes away in my chest: This is one I do a lot for submissives who need a gentle attitude adjustment. I love doing this because I have them come in, fold up their clothes into a neat pile and then I pull them into my room and toss their clothes in and lock it in front of their face. The stunned expression is priceless and helps put any notions of an early escape out of their head.

- Wrap boy up like a burrito (tightly) in a blanket and tickle his feet: I secretly plan to do this to my boy. He’s seated over on my bed right now completely unaware of the awful fate that shall befall him. He’s very ticklish you know…

- Tie boy spread eagle to bed: Eh. It was all I could think of. Not dreadfully original or difficult, but it counts.

- Make boy wear underwear in the waistband of his pants and buy me a soda: This I have indeed done with two separate submissives. Also a bit dangerous so I tell them to use best judgment and bail if they’d get in trouble. So far no one has had to bail and I’ve gotten my soda.

- Use boy’s underwear as a napkin on a night out drinking: So you meet up with a submissive in a public non-kink space (like a straight piano bar) for a drink or two to chat first. You talk for 5-10 minutes and ask if he’d like to engage in a little light play while we’re just sitting here. He says “yeah”, so you ask him to go to the bathroom, remove his underwear, bring it back to you and place it in your hand… as a sign of submission. He agrees and returns to hand you the underwear. You take it and use it as a napkin for the evening and make sure to leave the underwear showing a bit. You can put it in your breast pocket, in your pants pocket, lay it over your knee, or just toss it on the table. Watch his body language, he’ll be fixated on his underwear all night and so helplessly horny… well… I’ve yet to meet a boy that didn’t want to come home with me after that stunt.

- Tied up boy in suspension and let him only balance on a few toes of a single foot: This one on the surface is not dreadfully creative. The trick to pulling off something like this is to blindfold the boy and say that you need to prep some other kink toys and what not for play and you forgot to do it earlier. Left to his own devices hanging there, waiting, and hearing little movements from you. His mind will race at the possibilities that await him. A little push or shove here and there is all it takes to remind him just how precarious his position is.

- Tie boy down and spank him till he tells you all his secrets: Works equally well with tickling if that is less pleasant for your boy. Who cares if he has indeed told you every secret? Only you get to decide when he’s “told you everything”.

- Record that but never release it: “Oh… does the red light mean it’s on? Gee what would you do to make sure no one ever sees that?”

- Have boy perform services naked for me while I’m on a balcony: This can get you arrested, so just be mindful of exposure up there. Ideally it will simply look like shirtless men to anyone down below or even horizontal to you, but there’s no way there will be anything in his mind other than his nudity at that moment.

- Stick your finger up his ass while you’re hanging out around the house: When I first met @bredbeta​I walked into his apartment and in the first 30 seconds there I stuck my fingers right up his ass. I did this because I had ordered him to pre-lube and wanted to check he did it. Taking that level of control over the situation had him cooing almost instantly. To this day I’ll occasionally finger his pussy while we’re just hanging out to remind him who owns him. :)

- Only let your boy engage in his scent fixation while naked and able to finger his hole: When your boy has a fixation with scent or oral play, or almost anything. Only let him engage in that play while naked and while you finger his hole. Doing so reminds him that he is in fact naked because you can access and manipulate his genitals. I generally prefer to do such things in front of a large window.

- Go on a hike and fuck him in the woods, but only just enough off the path that you might still be seen: Pretty self explanatory. If you like a nice hike, it’s a GREAT way to make sure your boy is enthusiastic for them. Plus you can stop for no reason and say “shhh a hiker. Don’t move so he won’t see my cock in your ass.”

How To Control a Sub

The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you.

1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!

You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.

You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.

Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

2. Control your own feelings of guilt.

He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.

If you feel he deserves an orgasm… Ruin it!

Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.

Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

3. You must get into his head!

Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.

Tease him with your words whenever possible.

Find out what humiliates him.

Use his humiliation whenever possible.

4. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.

Talk sexy to him.

Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.

Fondle him, or let him fondle you.

Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

Make him give you orgasms frequently.

5. Make him do something humiliating.

Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.

Make him be naked when you are not.

Make him masturbate for you.

Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

6. Punish him whenever he displeases you.

Don’t let him get away with anything!

Spank, paddle, or whip him.

Humiliate him in some way.

Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.

Make him do anything he hates.

7. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.

Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).

Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.

Make him shop for lingerie with you.