Snorri the Miserable

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

people will be like "i'm bored" meanwhile there's baking soda and vinegar in the cupboard. make a volcano dude

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"

Normal sized fidget toy

And you may tell yourself "this is not my tomodachi life"

if you are a normal sized human being who overdrafts at the bank youd have to pay a fee or fine but if your a giant you'd pay a fo or fum

quitting my job to be a full time upstairs neighbor. bowling balls are in the mail as we speak

while I am talking to you about something gay and stupid a mosquito lands on my arm and sucks all my blood out in an instant, swelling to the size of a person as my remains flutter cartoonishly down to the ground, and it continues the conversation where I left off in a high pitched approximation of my voice

when i turn into a bat my dick stays the same size and i cant even fuckin move

Never getting over Charlie Kirk getting shot in the throat right after he uses it to downplay gun violence. Gotta be a top 3 assassination. Up there with Shinzo getting doohickey'd.

It's on some straight up Greek play shit. Man who uses his voice to justify violence and stir evil for years meets his end as that very violence tears out his throat. Poetic. Captured live from multiple angles. People stole his blood soaked merch to hock and his wife was giddy about sale numbers during his funeral.

tumblr keeps putting rpf baseball yaoi on my dash, and like, okay fine I get it. Whatever. But it’s all rpf baseball yaoi of fucking YANKEES PLAYERS. YANKEES PLAYERS??? Tumblr thinks I’m a fuckin YANKEES FAN???? Tumblr coming into my house and accusing me of being a goddamn motherfucking yankees fan???????? You say that to my face. You come to my house in the great beautiful city of Boston Massachusetts and say that to my fucking face tumblr. Ohh when I get my hands on you tumblr. Yankees yaoi. I’m actually for real mad about it.

did mitski ever find out what to do after you've been big and small and big and small again and still nobody wants you

its kind of sad that bugs are so weak. it dishonors their noble biology. i guess this is is why crustaceans are so admirable. imagine for a moment, an unsquishable bug. such is the way of the crab