jack this dinkus

by 2028 you will be cancelled for not participating in beatles rpf

I think we should empower local tourism industry employees by giving them a stick and free reign to hit tourists who try to feed or approach wildlife.

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly

You're lying to me. That's a squid

customer told me today that he no longer remembers his dead mother's face and that he wishes he still had dreams so he could see her again he also told me that he is currently raising two baby pigs he found at the bottom of a waterfall

my favourite bit right now is saying "scientists still don't know" in relation to something I (One Single Scientist) specifically do not know the answer to

went to the beach ten minutes after an actual thunderstorm and got so cold i started coming up with a “fish” cover of creep by Radiohead which I was singing out loud over and over again. imagine me waist deep in the waves no feeling in my legs getting over a cold voice singing “i wish i was urchin. you’re so fucking urchin”

What else do u need