jack this dinkus

by 2028 you will be cancelled for not participating in beatles rpf

ah doing ma thing just like god int- (remembers im atheist) just like the universe intend- (remembers i don't believe in determinism) just like noone and nothing intended ever. doin ma thang fucking unpredictable style

we are never going to be free until it literally doesnt matter whether a person is ugly or not

I’m reading this book about the changing arctic and the author stayed with the Nunamiut people of inland alaska for a while and talked to this high school kid who was like “ugh I hate going to school in the spring I wish I was hunting caribou” and I thought that was charming. you often hear about people who are devoted to preserving their traditional culture and knowledge but it’s rare to hear about someone who’s invested in the old ways out of pure teenage selfishness. school is lame and hunting caribou is awesome

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

science enthusiasts LOOVE making media where a humble academic is abducted by the authorities and forced to go on a cool alien adventure against their will. it's like cnc for them

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

"subtext" and "buttsex" being anagrams of each other is an example of order and harmony in the universe

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

did you know that if you turn the word racecar around the other way you can spank it on its little ass

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

don't bite the hand that's handjobbing you