Edward doesnt get a whole lot of support for his obvious PTSD and anxiety problems, and that's really sad to me, because hes making everyone's lives worse.
We've seen from Edward's behavior that not being in control of a situation involving people that he loves sends him in a panic spiral. In Midnight Sun, he cannot stop obsessing about the 3 million ways bella could possibly die every day when he isnt around to stop it. He pushes himself so hard to have control over his thirstyboi nature, but leaves Bella when he realizes he cant control the actions of his family. He hates that Bella goes to La Push, not only because of jealously, but because that is a space where he has exactly zero control over what happens to her. He refuses to have a sexual relationship with his girlfriend because he's afraid that he wont be able to control himself properly. He is literally beside himself with anguish when he realizes that the person with the closest chance of controlling Bella's pregnancy is Rosalie. These are just a few examples of Edward's crippling fear of a lack of control.
It makes sense that he feels that way, to an extent. Control is the only thing that, he believes, keeps him from slaughtering innocent people, every day. His worst nightmares always begin with a lack of control.
Critical response to the Twilight Saga often painted Edward as an abuser and a really bad romantic role model for young girls. This is because the original series was NOT responsible in the way they portrayed Edward's behavior. Smeyer chose to paint Edward's actions as proof of his overwhelming devotion to Bella, rather than a symptom of trauma. By doing that, she implied that not only could his sometimes infantilizing and controlling behavior not be altered within the confines of the relationship, but it was actually a good thing.
In fact, Edward's behavior is NOT a result of his love of Bella. It's a result of trauma that he hasn't properly processed. Healing has to start with Edward, but Bella and his family spend a lot of time getting in the way of that healing and enabling toxic backslides.
For example, no one ever listens to his fear. Every single time Edward expresses his anxiety, everyone either argues with him or shuts him down. With nowhere to go with his anxiety, it festers and becomes the self-hatred that he is so plagued with. They also do not have responsible conversations about boundaries with him. Like, at all. Maybe Carlisle has, but idk.
He has learned that the only way he can possibly get some comfort is if he imposes rules and restrictions on the people he loves to keep them walking what he believes is the safe line. He does this at any cost, to himself, to others, or to the situation at large. This is the cause of almost every conflict in New Moon.
Honestly, I think Edward is way too far gone to notice this behavior himself, and Carlisle needs to take a refresher course on psychology and help him through this responsibly because the way he treats bella is TOO far. If he could, he would keep her locked up in her bedroom all day with him, and he wouldn't really see a problem with it because she's SAFE.
To be fair to him, there are a few times where he realizes that his restrictions put too much stress on Bella, and he agrees to come to a compromise with her. But even in these instances, HE needs to have the upper hand.
In the books it was sort of implied that he felt that way because he knew he was a superior decision-maker because of the whole vampire thing. Its obvious to me though that he is not. The only factor he uses to make a decision is whether or not he will be in control at the end of it.
Sure, when Bella becomes a vampire, Edward seems visibly more relaxed. Even MORE so when he realizes that she has more self control than almost any newborn in history, and that her special gift is literally putting people in bubbles. So happily ever after, right?
Well, no, because Edward is now a father, whose daughter is growing rapidly before his eyes and will be spending a lot of time with a werewolf that Edward, so far, has had a fairly rocky relationship with.
In the future there will be a LOT of things that will be completely out of Edward's control, and honestly, I cant imagine that bella wouldnt leave his ass and take 'Nez with once he starts with that aggressive, possessive, obsessive, scary behavior with their daughter.
