Positively Tired

they call me the information withholder for reasons i won't get into

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

OOPS TOO DEEP

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

CLIMB

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

my three girlfriends; past, present and future

But do they smoke weed

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

chuckling indulgently.. oh go on... i suppose a LITTLE bit of monica in my life wouldn't hurt

a person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern stuff . however , a duck from 150 years ago would just be all like ,still got lakes? yes ? okay cool

Reblogging again because I thought they changed the quote so I decided to look up the actual quote and it’s not fake that is very much the actual quote

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

HOLY SHIT???!!!!!!!

You crush Miette like the grape?

brick up mother in basement for ONE THOUSAND YEARS

The Cask of Miettellado

Y'all are just absolutely committed to creating humor I cannot explain to my spouse, aren't you?

If there's one person on a bus because that person cannot or doesn't want to drive, the bus is succeeding.

I read a study once on the fuel efficiency of various types of commuter vehicles (car, bus, train) on a per person basis and the number of people needed riding public transit to match the "efficiency" of cars is shockingly low. A bus needs to carry like 3-4 people to be fuel efficient, and trains require 2-3 per train car. Both often carry two dozen or more during peak hours, more than justifying any perceived requirements for efficiency for the train or bus to provide service the entire day.

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

"comparing apples and oranges" has always been funny to me as an expression because people's go to exampe of two things so radically different that they defy any useful comparison are apples. and oranges. like you would struggle to find a more comparable pair of objects than that. theyre literally sold right next to each other in most stores.