BY OUR MALICE COMBINED

We'd be more specific, but then we'd have to make a new post for every situation, and we simply don't have the staff.

Sorry if this helps! Humbert, Outreach Liaison Melinoë Laboratories

"Suademus comedere florem loti"

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

Indeed, public transit makes a lot of sense as an investment. People need to get somewhere, and making it easier to get a bunch of people where they want to go, quickly, can only be a good thing. That is, unless you live in the soap opera universe, where getting somewhere quicker means that you are more likely to catch your significant other cheating on you with your identical evil twin. You expected me to be stuck in traffic, Sofia? Like a peasant? Efficient, frequent, and convenient mass transit has put the lie to your antiquated concept of congestion, just as it has to this marriage!

We know, of course, of the opposition to public transit. Used car dealerships wield a shocking amount of power in municipal government. They'd rather destroy civilization than be told that they can't sell you a 320,000-mile 2001 Neon for $11500 (with extra finance charges.) How dare they mess with our kids' ability to get on a maglev bullet train that takes them to work in nanoseconds.

I hate the unearthly sound my phone makes when the weather service issues a tornado harbinger.

Types of Tornado Alert [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut