Rootin' for you.

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

energy policy would be much better if we still had a tradition of animal sacrifice I think. people would be way more chill about nuclear energy if they could see a large and proud bull being ritually sacrificed every month or so at the base of the cooling towers to keep the plant safe

Your father use to roleplay as a tape worm for my pleqsure

hope he did a good job at least. Didn't embarrass the whole family.

He strutted his shit kinda

let us all do the Lord's work and convince cis girls they can wear packers if they want, very fashionable. why not really. wear it to the club. modern civilization allows us to democratize the sensation of someone grinding on yr bulge. such things should be accessible to everyone. & we can make it so

Dude my roommate fucking hates it when we're hanging out naked on the couch and I start crawling my hand on him like a spider and call it mr spider and when he tells me to cut it out get really sad and start saying shit like "But Mr Spider LOVES to crawl on you!" and when he grabs my wrist to remove mr spider it breaks free and then starts crawling around even faster, and jumping, too,

we are kind of in "fetish world where everyone does my fetish" but the fetish is heteromonogamy

for a while now i’ve been learning that some people kind of choose to hate themselves like you can give them tools and resources and advice and they’ll even follow some of it and go “i still hate myself” and i feel strongly at that point they’re kind of choosing to stay in that mindset because it’s comfortable and familiar or something but some people are truly [gotye voice] addicted to a certain kind of sadness and hooked on feeling low

you really do have to trick and teach your brain to stop catastrophizing and seeking out negative bias and like trust me i know how it sounds but if you wake up in the morning and say “it’s so shitty out i don’t wanna get up or do anything” your brain will Believe that and make it so. for months i had to force myself to follow up self-defeating thoughts with reasons why it’s still going to be a good day and what’s going good for me so i could teach my brain to work in the opposite direction and it works. takes a while and feels fake the whole time but you wake up one day and realize you actually really love yourself and there’s so much going for you and you can do everything you always wanted

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”