free my girl she did all that but can you fucking blame her
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@eveninggale
free my girl she did all that but can you fucking blame her

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being at work while your personal life is falling apart has to be among the top 3 worst human experiences. You’re at your absolute lowest and someone wants to circle back on an email…… unreal
god forbid argonians try to make a living in this economy
lusty argonian maids? in MY area!?
Image ID: a picture of a desert captioned ‘this is not a wasteland’ and a picture of an empty parking lot, captioned ‘this is’. End ID
I was gonna say “what you think he had insurance???” but 1) at least in the early aughts to mid-teens, NY was one of the less excruciating states to get medicaid in, and 2) he was a minor and it’s a LOT easier to get medicaid for a minor, especially when said minor’s legal guardians are retirees on fixed incomes I’d wager.
So yeah they’re all just fuckin dumbasses! I love them.
This is why I think it would be peak comedy for the radioactive spider to be of a non-venomous species and for there to be a scene of a new Peter Parker/Spiderperson looking up the spider’s features or posting a photo to an identification subbredit before being informed of the fact that nothing will happen
entemologist reddit: oh yeah, that one’s venom isn’t strong enough to cause anything other than a bit of localized pain at the bite site, no worries.
Peter Parker the next morning, stuck to his ceiling: Well someone fucking LIED!!!!
Peter Parker typing out an angry internet rant to send back to the entomologist about “this is fucking bullshit I feel like ass I walked into six walls and I’m sweating fucking GLUE”
People keep asking him for updates and he does two more before deciding to become a superhero and deleting his reddit account
Six weeks later someone else posts about how “so that one spider bite guy. The one who kept. Sticking to walls. And this, uh. New hero guy. Climbing walls. Spiderman. Connected?”

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by inaws61
Everyone remind Tumblr staff to keep doing what they do best:
Absolutely nothing.
And we'll be Gucci forever.
We'll still be here long after Twitter has crumbled and gone and we'll still be here at the heat death of the universe.
Review of a butterfly farm… 🦋
I interned at a place w butterflies and had to tell a mom to please stop offering the “snacks” on the pedestals to her kids and we had to give a speech to all the ppl who entered which I added lines to daily. Including the infamous “butterflies like fruit that’s a little older than what we eat, so the fruit is just for them! Please don’t eat it!” And “please please please please please don’t come in here if you’re afraid of butterflies.” It was the closest thing to hell I’ve ever experienced
*going to a butterfly farm* there better not be any fuckin butterflies in here

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onion not even doing satire at this point
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids
NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP
While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive
alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife
im going INSANE thats MY POST.
It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.
Concept: Baba Yaga house walking around on chicken legs, being followed by one of those plastic Fisher-Price play houses on baby chick legs
Excuse my 15min rush art job, but I just HAD to draw this
Still love this concept. Here’s a redraw that was NOT sketched in 15min while waiting in line at the DMV

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the gentle possessiveness and intimacy that comes with putting “my” in front of any sort of name will always be top tier
The world is becoming colorless, why?
source paper - tweet