we get to choose the thing that eats us

Getting viscerally upset when the lead singer says “take it away boys” cause I was thinking the twinky bass player with big glasses and big hair was a tgirl.

“take it away boys”, more like “take the boys away” amiright?

another idea for how reviews should work: you're strapped to a chair with two IVs, and every bad review sends a little pump of that blue euthanasia juice for dogs into your left arm, and every good review sends a little pump of jones cream soda into your right arm

the anniversary of library paste man’s death is in four days.

One hundred and ten years ago to the day. Amazing. Incredible.

RIP😔🙏📚🍯

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

thank god for breasts *remembers im atheist* thank science for breasts

I just want to love and be loved. why is lunch twelve dollars now

did you guys hear about the psychic air freshener

it makes scents when you think about it

This braised pork belly with broccoli is fucking my pussy [remembers its christmas] my JOLLY pussy

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

This cat strikes me as both fascinated by the sensation of the rain - the smell, sound, and feel of it - and completely mortified by the fact that it comes with being wet

This cat is like “I am enjoying approximately 75% of this experience but I’m not sure if it’s worth that other 25%”