Erllerwaller

So. Zombie apocalypse. Modern day, of course. It's been going on for a while, but some people are still alive, hanging out in survivalist situations or what have you.

Now, there's this family that's been moderately successful at homesteading, in that they're not dead, but they're hanging on by a thread. A farmer, his wife, and their daughter. Well, the wife dies, unexpectedly. Zombie gets her, she has a heart attack, whatever. Terrible thing to happen.

But when she dies, all her skills go with her, and pre-apocalypse she was a fiber arts hobbyist. She could spin, weave, knit, sew, etc. A good thing for her family, because going in to town to raid malls is risky, and the zombie apocalypse is hard on clothes.

Now, she was trying to teach her daughter how to do all that stuff, but she was usually busy doing other vital-for-survival type stuff. Understandable. But that doesn't mean her father doesn't get red in the face and screaming furious when she messes up the spinning wheel.

Intelligible screaming is, of course, notable when 99.99% of the population is dead or undead, and who should be out scouting for supplies but the second in command of the nearest large group of survivors? He and his guys go to investigate and find the guy beating up the daughter in front of their house. They ask, politely, what the hell the guy thinks he's doing. Also, why was he yelling about spinning?

Guy: gotta think fast

Guy: my worthless daughter wastes all her time spinning and knitting and doesn't help me in the field like she was supposed to

And, of course, even for the biggest local group of survivors, proper clothing is hard to come by, right? The zombie apocalypse is hard on clothing. So, they pack up all the homesteaders' stuff, plus the daughter and her father and bring it back with them. They were probably going to do that anyway, because you don't become the biggest local group of survivors by leaving other survivors to fend for themselves, but someone who knows how to spin? Jackpot.

Also, the way that guy was beating up his daughter was messed up. Better separate them. They can set her up in the storeroom where they've been stashing all the wool they've gotten from the flock of sheep they saved. She can spin it while they try to figure out what to do with her, no pressure.

Daughter: panick

She, of course, cannot do that. She barely knows how to spin. Maybe. What will these guys do when they find out she can't? Throw her to the zombies?

And then she hears something from the window (barred, of course). Turns out, that side of the storehouse is up against the group's safe border. There's a zombie out there.

Heck, lets even make it a specific zombie. Let's make it the mother, back from the dead.

Ah.

Zombie Mom says, through the bars and the window, I'll teach you how, but you have to promise, when you have a kid with the 2nd in command, you have to give it to me. Braaaaaaaains, you know?

Daughter: Mom, I'm not going to have a kid with him.

Zombie Mom: Don't be ridiculous. Give me grandchildren (to eat).

So, that happens, and like that, the daughter slowly learns how to actually do all the fiber arts stuff her father lied about, the amount of unspun wool in the room starts to drop, and the 2nd in command and the daughter get to know each other better... And better.... And better...

And then the daughter is like, hey, btw, my zombie mom wants to eat our kid.

2nd in Command: what

Daughter: zombie mom. Eat our kid. This is easy.

Princess: an effeminate and relatively youthful male homosexual or lesbian (1931-4)

Daffodil: effeminate young man (1925)

To throw a fuck into: to have sex with (1919)

Top sergeant: a masculine lesbian (1939) [‘she takes command of the girls’ privates’]

Lily: penis (1919)

Wolf: sexually aggressive man (1847); a homosexual top (1918)

Soul kiss: a deep kiss, involving putting one’s tongue into one’s partner’s mouth (1907)

Tom: a lesbian (1909); [in 'old tom'] prostitute catering to lesbians (1966)

Church mouse: a male homosexual who frequents crowded churches in order to fondle any potential sex partners. (1941)

Discover one's gender: to accept or acknowledge one’s homosexuality (1941) / Lose one's gender: To return to living as a heterosexual

Minty: a masculine lesbian (1941)

Also a lot of early 20th century vulgarity is recorded in Letter from My Father, which is a collection of letters published by a man who's dad was, in short, a major slut and human disaster who wrote about his sex life for his son. It's insane. You can find copies of it online & it's a wild fucking read (literally!) and I think a really interesting look at the life of a person who goes against our stereotypes of what people in the past were "supposed" to be like.

note for writers: these are dated to the first time they were recorded, not necessarily to their first use. I imagine for many of these, they came about naturally through spoken language before they were written down anywhere. This is especially true of more underground slang because it's probably being recorded (in ways we still have) the least. So if you wanna use a term but it's a little off date-wise, give yourself some wiggle room.

also gonna take this moment to highlight two more i found recently:

Best boy: a sweetheart, a boyfriend, a husband. (1893) [w the obvious equivalent term 'best girl']

Honeydripper or honeydrips: a sexual partner (1917)

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Recipient of a third-degree burn in front of witnesses. IE, "I won't take that shit from a man dressed like a ghostbuster"= "Gostbuster" or "Buster"

A distinctive personal feature or quirk. IE, "Have you noticed how that new guy is always eating bell peppers?" = "Peppers", or "That chick has a massive forehead" = "Forehead".

An embarrassing thing you said or did. IE, "Did you seriously call Dale "Dad"?" = "Junior", "Baby boy", "Sport"

A game of name-mutation telephone. IE, "Donny Clyde" = "Bonnie 'n' Clyde" = "Bonnie" = "Bon-bon".

Irony. IE, calling a tall person "short stack" or a particularly dour person "sunshine".

A 'wrong place wrong time' one-off incident. IE, "He spilled oil on his pants and had to borrow a pair that were way too big and Jim saw him with the waistband pulled up to his nipples and called him 'Parachute'"

A batman-style origin story but not in a cool way: "One time she hit a deer with the company car and when she called the boss to tell her she was crying so hard we thought she was dying" = "Bambi"

The incredibly rare 'admiration' nickname, bourne only once a millennia under the light of the blood moon: "We saw him lift a truck once so now we call him 'iron man'"

+ How Nicknames Stick:

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