ems_the.les

I’ve spoken about canon before, so this will mainly be Recast. But given how I always end up referencing canon anyways, I’ll probably end up drawing on both.

Hey, Mr. Business, how do you do…

Right, this casting was one of the first ones I decided on - long before Smosh Summer Games and so second only to Mariah!Grace. And I have never been moved to change it. It’s one of the ones that just feels so obviously perfect to me. Fortunately, I’m not the only one who thinks so.

Last year, Mariah talked about on stream (not a StarKid stream, her own Twitch ones) how she would recast her roles in Guy. She didn’t cover all her roles, there’s a lot and some only have the one song feature or two lines at most, but focused on the main ones: she’d give Bryce Harmony Jones/Greenpeace Girl, Jaime got Alice, and Angela got Zoey. Impeccable casting, honestly, I wish we got her ideas for the full show but these three were great on their own. All to say, to everyone who questioned Angela in the role, you are wrong.

Angela never really gets roles like this. She is more than capable but due to being an alto and one with less stereotypically feminine features, is never the first choice for this type of role. Smosh is admittedly a lot worse for this, but StarKid aren’t above it. Just looking at Hatchetfield, Mariah does have most of those pretty ingénue roles; the same way Kim has all the good/innocent/heroine maternal women; and Angela usually gets the less desirable/weird/rough ones. (Bryce hasn’t been here long enough to have much of a roster to judge; Lauren and Jaime feel very well rounded). And fuck stereotypes, Angela is just as beautiful and being an alto is just as impressive as a mezzo or soprano. She’d make a killer Zoey.

However…

The voice would undeniably change a lot for Zoey’s character.

Looking at Broadway or West End or touring productions, mezzo roles are a dime a dozen in musicals. Altos are few and far between. And even then, the same two famous altos kinda just get cast in everything and most alto roles are mainly for older women anyways. Or people are more than happy to just cast a soprano/mezzo in a famously alto role and have them sing up. Because opt-ups are “impressive” and opt-downs are “playing it safe”. She can’t bank on the voice alone. So already Zoey’s chances of a main part and a role that might get her out of Hatchetfield are infinitely smaller than canon’s.

This in my mind works as to why Angela!Zoey can dance, for one thing. It’s not outright said that canon Zoey can’t, but it very implied she’s known for singing and acting with no mention of dancing or being a triple threat and I don’t see why she wouldn’t add that to her list to brag about unless it weren’t true. Most likely as Mariah isn’t a strong dancer they decided not to go down that route, thus never had to put her an instance where she had to deliver on it, but as Angela is somewhat stronger and at least trained in tap, I feel like it would be a shame not to use it.

Without being able to bank of a higher vocal range, it makes sense that she’d try to broaden her appeal by any other means. Give herself more skills and talents, so that she seems more worth to be cast. Ergo the dancing and tap. Then there’s probably a ton of improv classes at the Community College, comedy workshops and stand-up seminars, mine lessons, being able to play all kinds of musical instruments. She works extremely hard to make up for it, to make herself better to cast than any old soprano. To the point, I think canon Zoey would have to begrudgingly respect her for it.

Still very glammed up and trying to look hot, using her appearance as another bank for a role, just not changing too much of herself. Hair is still Angela short, but given more texture through glossy curls or being teased out. Like she can obviously grow her hair out, she refuses to bend to the institution like that; she’ll prove short hair is just as gorgeous. Makeup is equally done up, complimentary to Angela’s features but still in the same vein as canon I feel. The few instances where Angela really does makeup (a lot of her photoshoots) are all in Angela!Zoey’s file dump.

In turn of making her more hardworking, at least where theatre is concerned (she’s still not working very hard during her shifts outside of the whole new singing thing Nora’s introduced), I think this also makes her more of a diva and a pain. Angela is the only alto of the StarKid Hatchetfield actresses, including the understudies. Which means regardless of how the casting ultimately comes out for the other Hatchetfield Community Players, the rest of them will either be sopranos or mezzos and men.

It’s easy to be the star of Beanie’s. Emma doesn’t care and Nora cares more about good customer experience than delivering a jaw dropping routine every time, and anyone else is one of the “little theatre friends” Zoey herself hired. People she’d have known beforehand weren’t going to upstage her; they can serve coffee and clean tables and maybe do a little singing when she’s on vocal rest, but for the most part she doesn’t want to hear those stupid high voices.

In theatre, it’s naturally more out of her hands… unless she gets close to the director and can sway their opinion. Same moves canon Zoey plays. “If my voice can’t get me ahead, my body will” and then struts straight over to men with authority. It’s unlikely sex appeal worked with Hidgens, but he seems to respect her beforehand and regards her as the only talent in Hatchetfield aside from himself. In this case, possibly sees a lot of himself in her. That hardworking energy, devotion to theatre and having the balls to claw through whoever to get to the top. It won’t be enough to save her in Workin’ Boys, of course, just explains why she isn’t given the same level of criticism the other actresses receive.

All those theatre classes do pay off and ultimately she is stellar at playing to the crowd, she’ll never waste an opportunity onstage. Eager to prove herself - let’s be clear, this isn’t some justice fuelled case for altos to be equally acknowledged. She doesn’t give a shit for any of them. They’re simply not good or trying hard enough, unlike her. She is deserving and wants special treatment above anyone.

She doesn’t want to die a nobody in the middle of a nowhere small town. The same biggest fear as canon but certainly has much more emphasis when being an alto. A very real fear regardless, a lot of people can relate to worrying about their career or dream job never coming true, but when there are fewer and fewer opportunities with each new show and zero leading roles for your vocal type, it’s fair to say that this is more than something that might keep her up smoking at night. It could so easily be a very real reality for Recast Zoey.

I do think she masks her self absorbed tendencies slightly better than canon, if only from a place of “sopranos/mezzos can afford to do whatever and still be cast but altos can’t”, at least initially. But don’t let any friendly smiles or exchanges of vocal exercises fool you. She cares for no one but herself and won’t do anything unless it somehow benefits herself. Willing to risk anything and do whatever it takes. If that means befriending a soprano or two, fine. And if said soprano trips on the way into her audition and breaks her leg or gets arrested before she can lay down her headshot or mysteriously dies, that’s show business, baby.

To feel like a worm…

Now we get to Hailey!

This was an easy happy reverse decision. Angela always gets characters that pine after Mariah, Mariah has said she’d really like one of hers to pine after Angela for a change (that isn’t an improvised table top RPG role she made up to do so). Hailey is such a small part that anyone could have done it. Mariah won out on the reverse and most of the other ladies already playing other/bigger characters in all of Hailey’s appearances*. And yeah, having good chemistry with Angela as Zoey was essential for anyone who played Hailey.

*Kim plays Linda and Linda needs to be in Honey Queen with Hailey, so she can’t do it. Bryce plays Ruth and Ruth needs to be in Workin’ Boys with Hailey, so she can’t do it. So on and so forth, etc; you get the idea.

Speaking of Kim!Linda, yes I did intentionally pit our soprano queen against our alto queen. For added drama in the pageant, more conflict and in Recast they definitely have a duet. This is also not really relevant but I’m so proud of the choice that I have to mention that Curt!Gerald exists because they’ve not played a villain couple yet and I had to fix that.

And I feel like Mariah could nail anxious theatre kid with tummy troubles, whilst following Angela around and getting yelled at by another favourite recast of mine, Corey!Hidgens.

In comparison to Zoey, she is very much not glammed. Realistically isn’t wearing any makeup at all, doesn’t have a skincare routine - even haircare would just be brush, shampoo, conditioner, air dry and then messily tied back half up. Between stressing out, fulfilling Zoey’s every whim as her personal maid, doing the barista part of Zoey’s job for her, her own job, taking care of the dog, lots of stomach cramps, then maybe stressing out again, she doesn’t really have much time to herself. Nor does she really see the need to.

Clothes are very plain and intentionally not flattering, Zoey picked them because they were more practical and subsequently worked better for her. So getting any kind of costume is usually really exciting for her until she’s informed by Zoey that the director has changed his mind and wants her to wear something bland. It’s a lot of oversized graphic musical tees and then some simple black leggings. It’s not fashionable, but it’s comfortable. And Zoey seems slightly less angry at her when she wears them, so it’s a win?

Again, falling back to the idea of what musicals look for when they cast mezzos/sopranos, it is usually very stereotypically feminine. So Zoey here does all she can to keep Hailey from that ideal. And maybe there’s also a more personal reason why she wouldn’t want Hailey in something more flattering but that’s neither here nor there.

Hailey’s dreams are less ambitious when compared to her roommate. Being on Broadway or West End would be amazing and she’d be grateful to ever have the opportunity, but she’s not dumping all her eggs in that one basket and if she never gets out of Hatchetfield she won’t be too bummed about it. A job with slightly better pay, something to ease her stomach and a nicer apartment is really all she wants. And Zoey to stop treating her like shit… not that she’s complaining though!

Very much doubts herself and her abilities. Partially from a place of genuine insecurity and self-doubt and partially because Zoey definitely adds to it by giving her false, and often contradictory, critiques for her performances. Thus she’s unable to rectify them. How can she be both sharp and flat? Music doesn’t work like that, she knows that, but Zoey is the professional here and only trying to help her, so she must be doing something wrong. Theatre is still a fun thing for her and she enjoys doing it, but she has definitely started asking more questions and looking for A LOT more reassurance in recent years. Which has pissed off a lot of the directors she’s worked with and a fair number of her co-stars, once again hammering in the belief she’s not good enough to be here.

Oh, being told she’s a mezzo would be news to her.

Zailey/Theatremates

It’s more kinda implied than straight up canon that something is going on between them or at least that’s how Mariah and Angela play it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m fairly sure that the Langs have never really discussed Zoey and Hailey in much depth, thus never really clarified if anything’s going on between them or what their relationship is. From what we see, Hailey is under Zoey’s thumb and for the most part accepts it. Zoey lacks any loyalty anyways and, in spite of a lot of complaints about her, likes Hailey enough to keep her around and trusts her to get close enough to zip her dress, do her hair and makeup, and even handle her voice care. She gets a brief moment of revenge in Killer Track but outside of that, seems fairly content with the arrangement or is at least too scared of Zoey to actually try anything. Hell, in Workin’ Boys, she dedicates a lot of appreciation and thanks to Zoey.

I do think there is something going on and it is going to be a lot more verbalised in Recast.

Hailey falls first and Zoey falls harder.

Like straight down a flight of stairs.

Hailey has a crush on Zoey, she’s not loud and really doing anything about it, but it becomes obvious it’s there. A lot of blush and flush, embarrassment, nervously twirling her hair, eager to please. Zoey clocks it and takes full advantage. It’s a great way to fulfil her own interests, to keep Hailey under her control and, sue her, she likes attention, being admired and it’s really funny to fluster her stupid roommate. Way better than some guy who is just looking at her to please him. It doesn’t mean anything.

Then the relationship shifts into something casual, no strings attached. Again, Zoey just really likes attention, Hailey is there to be used and hey, shutting her up about Hamilton while making some more powerful guy Zoey needs jealous is getting two birds with one stone. And then very quickly becomes not casual. But Zoey refuses to really talk about any of it and is off sleeping around anyways. Certainly there’s no affectionate regard in public, even in the privacy of their dressing rooms or apartment I doubt Zoey suddenly becomes all touchy-feely and probably still holds things at arm’s length. Kinda just leaving Hailey in the dark about what the hell’s going on between them.

As far as anyone else knows, they are simply roommates and that Zoey keeps her around like some kind of lapdog. In actuality, Zoey has probably fallen very hard and fast, and both despises Hailey for her own feelings and detests the fact Hailey isn’t as disaster down bad for her as she fucking should be. She’s with Zoey fucking Chambers for crying out loud! Where’s the goddess worshipping treatment she should be getting from Hailey? Not that she ever admits any of this to anyone, maybe drunkenly to Jon!Sam but it’s not like he’s going to be of any help, but especially not Hailey.

Given Zoey’s jealousy, I think there’s another added layer going on. This pretty mezzo IS the type of thing Broadway/West End casting directors would want. She’s not even half naked with her assets out or singing the theatre standout songs or even really understands her own capabilities or extroverted enough to warm over people or has the confidence to belt on a proper stage (god, she probably doesn’t even know she can belt to begin with) and she’s still someone they’d probably want over Zoey. And those emotions certainly fuel her passion. People must think Hailey’s real fucking shit with a hair curler/straightener given all the marks she has.

They also watched Jennifer’s Body together ant some stage and it changed them.

Zoey probably took the wrong lesson from it but besides the point.

Zoey and Holloway

I know, I know, not entirely relevant to the ask but I wanted to include this because I doubt I’ll get the chance to talk about Zoey again.

Based on your thoughts about them that are so canon to me.

Bryce!Holloway really, REALLY tries here. Across the timelines, Zoey is always vying for fame and in the process destroying all of her relationships and, to a degree, even herself to get it. The same way she once did as Glam - albeit maybe not to the same extremes. But had things been a little different before the Starlets’ crash, the Pentagrams and the curse, she may have gotten to that same point. Her focus will always be kids and teenagers, and Zoey is out of that age range, but someone has to stop her making the same mistakes and her family are bought in to indulge her because she pits everyone else against each other, so they aren’t going to do it.

Of course, how much is Zoey going to listen to this old woman? Some waitress at a diner that ain’t even some famous chain? A woman that claims to be famous, that claims to be a musical star, but has little proof? A goddamn soprano at that? She’s clearly full of shit and just jealous of Zoey’s youth, beauty and talent, what does she know?

There’s even the argument of Hailey being similar to the Starlets. Someone also in the industry, who enjoys it and wants to do it too, but lacks the ruthless ambition and cutthroat attitude to keep up and stay afloat. She gets tagged around, pushed and treated less than. She is only going to be used or shoved into the background. Slowly that performance and creative spark will die. She’ll end up forgotten under Zoey’s foot or blinded by her starlight, either way it is not going to be pretty.