idk guys i know we all want him to join the cens and chill out and go apeshit sometimes but do we really think there’s a world in which shane hollander, after being outed, lets his foot off the gas even a little?? now that winning is arguably even more important and frankly more difficult than it ever was?? when, if he cant build a legacy and a record for himself that’s absolutely tectonic, he’s just gonna be known forever as ilya rozanov’s bottom??

I think it's actually vitally important to Shane that he win more cups with Ottawa than he did with Montreal

you know that, post-coming out, compilations start popping up online from years of nhl mic'd up promos that nobody ever thought twice about before that mostly consist of shane saying "microphone" when ilya skates up to him.

I'm actually not done talking about Shane playing Never Have I Ever. On several occasions one of the Centaurs says something Shane's never heard of before, and when he asks what it is Ilya shakes his head and says, "just drink."

ilya's silly april fools "shane is pregnant 💕" post with shane's comment "not with playoffs around the corner. abortion"

during the situationship years shane feels so sick and jealous and hot under the collar when rozanov tells all his boys “good job i love you” after games. like truly just a nauseating combination of feelings swirling. it’s like he’s being blended in a blender.

[about to fall asleep] I do think Shane could cum just from Ilya fucking his throat

heated rivalry is awesome because ilya's constantly like i'm a sick bitch i like freak sex but gets scared the minute he gets a little smoochie meanwhile shane is like i'm normal i'm normal and he's five seconds from reinventing free use just out of his own beautiful mind

i know shane can be kind of insecure in the books but to me this is reid’s failure at scrying. because i think shane knows he’s the best at hockey he knows full well he’s the best to ever do it. and the anxiety doesn’t come from him wondering if he’s the best but from him being aware he’s not allowed to make the mistakes that normal people make. he has to hold himself to perfection so so tightly and then of course under that is an endless well of resentment and rage that he has to perform at this inhuman level to be taken seriously, when he’s the BEST and he knows it.

like ilya is so permanently cancelled. that’s important to me. it’s 2014 and people are @ing him to ask if he’s a feminist and he’s responding “of course, i love when woman is on top.” he is name searching himself to make fun of his haters for not having custody of their kids. he is posting sports journalists’ DUI mugshots. he is snapchatting himself in russia for the summer wrestling with someone’s pet tiger. menace does not begin to cover it.