ilya rozanov is my friend fr

sometimes people write beautiful joke posts about characters doing a fundamentally unkind thing and the post is very funny, and i can’t reblog it or engage with it due to my lover’s spirit. because it hurts my glass bones and paper skin

okay so walk with me grocky nation. rocky comes to grace one day twiddling his little fingers all nervous and says grace help rocky during egg laying time question. and through a comedy of errors (and his own unconscious gender biases) grace assumes rocky is asking him to, like, jack him off. and so grace says haha nooooo omg buddy i couldn’t…. Haha….. and rocky goes really furiously still. like i am talking so mad he dents the ground. and this results in a week-long standoff until grace is like Man please i’m so sorry i can’t take this i love you mor e than anything. Of course i’ll jack you off. and Rocky fucking explodesssss like ROCKY BLEED ON THE BIRTHING FLOOR PAIN PAIN PAIN ASK FOR HELP, GRACE NOT CARE QUESTION? GRACE KILL HIMSELF STATEMENT. and well turns out that egg laying really is more like human birthing due to the size of the eggs vs orfice and the relative hardness of the egg vs interior organs. And so of course now they’re both flipping out because grace thought he was about to get alien coochie but now his cosmic soulmate needs his help getting through a really vulnerable and dangerous process (obviously in the end love conquers all and they get through it, and they watch the eggs calcify in the atmosphere together and they turn into beautiful pearlescent shapes and it’s really sad but also wonderful because rocky is alive and with grace)

NO men in my household!!!!!! [sees the photos of david jonsson smiling shy style with a frog in his mouth and his hands hidden by his long shirt] well fine i will make an exception since he appears very polite