ilya rozanov is my friend fr

ilya voice I Say How The FUCK! are my FUCKING! SWEETIE! PEES!!!!!!!!

i’m sorry i got carried away and humped your leg until i came while we were kissing

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

for the first three months that Ilya has snapchat he genuinely believes that the photo disappears forever for everyone until the next time he sees svetlana and she shows him the screenshot she took of something he posted and he has a flashback of everything he’s posted and then - and this is crucial - does not change his snap habits at all

like ilya is so permanently cancelled. that’s important to me. it’s 2014 and people are @ing him to ask if he’s a feminist and he’s responding “of course, i love when woman is on top.” he is name searching himself to make fun of his haters for not having custody of their kids. he is posting sports journalists’ DUI mugshots. he is snapchatting himself in russia for the summer wrestling with someone’s pet tiger. menace does not begin to cover it.

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app

It’s so funny when fics make Grace unintentionally nsfw to eridians. That being soft, leaky, curious abt touching, etc is all inappropriate behavior. Imagine you send ur best men to space and in a beautiful but dangerous journey they save the stars and the lone survivor returns with alien Jessica rabbit