I’ve been a criminal for almost 6,000 years

it's 2014. everyone is doing the als ice bucket challenge. ilya rozanov is nominated for the ice bucket challenge. in true asshole fashion, once he completes his own video he nominates shane hollander to do the challenge next. shane hollander must complete the ice bucket challenge. he decides to film the challenge after practice, wearing a light gray compression shirt, shorts, and a backwards ball cap, with hayden and jj throwing the water on him. ilya rozanov watches the video, thinking it will be funny. he has never regretted his life choices more as he is forced to witness an already sweaty shane "jock" hollander become drenched in water, shirt clinging to his body even more, head shaking off the excess water with a grin, staring at the camera like he just knew ilya would be watching. it is like something out of ilya's - literally - wet dreams. he downloads the video to his phone. he makes another very large donation to the als association.

Babe, are you okay? You reblogged Nick Barlow’s Clusterfuck/Keep It Together again

Image id: an oil painting of a kitchen in which plates and bowls have been stacked and nested together to form a self-supporting but precarious looking arch from the counter on one side of the room to the floor on another.

ladies… has anyone ever told you it’s okay to be feminine 🩷 i’m sure no one has ever ever ever reinforced this deeply held secret, that’s it’s okay for you to be feminine. 🩷 i know the world totally tries to tell you that you have to be manly and masculine and grow your body hair and eat as much as you want and get strong and stand up for yourself and make waves and take up space and show your bare face and show your anger. but it’s okay to do the exact opposite actually. 🩷 it’s okay to shrink yourself down to the exact same mold every other woman is expected to conform to. 🩷 did you know that it’s okay to be feminine. 🩷 did you know it’s okay to be feminine. 🩷 did you know it’s okay to be feminine. 🩷 has anyone ever told you it’s okay to be feminine. 🩷 will you be feminine. 🩷 will you be feminine. 🩷 will you be feminine. 🩷 will you just be feminine already. 🩷🩷🩷

efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girls™"

[Image Description: Cartoon image of Parker, Hardison, and Eliot in free fall off a cliff alongside a red toy cart into a river below. Parker is enthusiastically throwing herself into the fall, Hardison is hanging on to her legs looking scared, and Eliot is above them, with crossed arms and a long-suffering expression.]

[ID: The picture in question. The sweater is blue with green halibuts on the upper part. End ID]

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

16 year old Shane getting flustered from a chirp from a very attractive hockey player he’s facing off against . But then the guy misses a really easy goal & Shane gets the ick so bad it shoves him back into the closet for another year

Gideon the Ninth movie finishes, curtains close, and the music over the aftercredits is a somber cover of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up

i wanna see more stories with a time skip epilogue where at least one character has clearly transed their gender and it isnt really remarked upon. bonus if none of them were remotely hinted to be trans until that moment because i think it'd be funny to watch a fandom react to that. your blorbo's happily ever after involves being a woman. dont worry about it.

"Brick shithouse" gotta be one of my fave body type descriptions.... so confusing to translate