laz, laza, lazae

That is until one summer Shane Ilya yuna and David are having dinner and Ilya makes a comment on Shane’s chirping skills (or lack thereof) and says “bet you could not chirp as child either, no one gave you chirping lessons. Very sad”

And yuna starts laughing remembering all the times coaches and other parents approached her about what Shane used to say

Ilyas grin has never been bigger than when yuna explains this to him Shane’s defence of “I was just trying to help” with his arms crossed and in a small voice is largely ignored Ilya begs shane to start chirping like that again bc what he wouldn’t give to hear Shane earnest voice tell grown hockey players to just “skate faster and put the puck in the net and you too can be as good as me”

Ilya for a moment genuinely considers inventing tile travel so he can go back and listen to little Shane accidentally chirp

I think Shane gets kinda sleazy with it, alcohol loosning his mouth, hes digging his fingers into Ilyas hips and grinding his cock against his ass with his face buried in his husbands neck, whispering filth about how tight Ilya always is. I solemly believe the erection this would give Ilya would kill him off via rapid blood relocation but I digress.

*tilts head* ehh fuck i’ll just ask him what his room number is it’s not like my life depends on his answer or anything anyway and he didn’t say no he just said “not here” and he didn’t leave yet even though he’s already dressed so he probably liked my jerking off behavior since my jerking off behavior was alluring if anything and he was hard too wasn’t he it’s not like i hallucinated the whole thing because it was what i wanted to see and what do i care anyway look how nonchalantly i just walked toward him the definition of what they call swag in english and he doesn’t suspect a thing i’m the coolest guy he’s ever seen this is literally the lowest i could have secured my towel my V-line is showing and they tell me it looks great they tell me you could launch airplanes off of these things rockets even you could plants trees in here fuckk should i just lose the towel altogether and make it look like an accident just to remind him what he would be missing out on even though he’s already seen everything a few minutes ago should i remind him just in case he’s already regretting it and thinking about saying no before giving us a chance i mean giving me a chance i mean giving sex a chance i mean it would just feel good and then we’d go our separate ways it’s probably just an itch i have to scratch for some reason anyway and the reason is probably that he looks very fucking hot and that’s all there is to it and once we’ve fucked we’ll be both done with it and fuckk what if he doesn’t want me he already said we should forget everything but i know he was lying and i called him a liar because he must be lying and maybe we will forget everything but only after we’ve fucked once just once just to get it out of my system and should i have jerked off more sensually no i was already at maximum sensuality i just know it i mean i’m guessing i mean probably i mean it’s not like i practiced in front of the mirror or anything that would be weird but then again leaving things to chance would be weirder fuckk should i just ask him out to dinner like to a secret restaurant or something after they’ve closed to the public no that’s so fucking crazy what is wrong with me i don’t even think secret restaurants are a thing what the hell is a secret restaurant maybe a place where you step in and you’re just a regular guy who’s having dinner with another regular guy and no one knows you or expects anything from you where no one can even see you or remember you were there and you can maybe talk to him without anyone else hearing what you’re saying not that there would be anything to say but it would be just you and him not that i would ever complain about the life i’m living this life is a blessing i’ve work so hard for fuckk what if he doesn’t want me what if he’ll never want me and what do i care anyway i don’t think about him he means nothing to me i am not gambling my entire life on a word from him fuck this fuckkk fuck okay here goes nothing:

what is your room number?

This week’s Featured Article is a The Greatest, a multifandom vid by bironic focused on characters of color in science fiction, fantasy, and horror.

It was created for the 2017 Fandom Trumps Hate auction, and premiered at 2018 Wiscon. Bironic used clips from 75 live-action media sources and it took them fifteen months to complete.

Learn more and find a link to The Greatest on Fanlore!

---------

The tips are on ao3 now, and I’m Res but on tumblr.

Scientists invented a fake disease. AI told people it was real: Nature.com

So, I got an anon a few weeks ago asking what my favourite hc for how Joe and Nicky got together was. I realised then that I don't have any one interpretation that I prefer, but instead many that I love in equal measure. As compelling as their canon backstory is, it is also very vague vis-à-vis the timeframe or the dynamic of their early relationship. This has of course been great fanfic fodder. Here is a reclicst focused on the various ways these two could have gotten together and my favourite takes on them. All mostly emotionally centred around them getting together, all canon tl (well, more or less) and separated in thematic categories. Behind the cut because this is long as hell

I have picked up that what ppl think captains do is not what captains do (like not having control over practice I think), so I know enough to know that posts about captain making them bag skate are wrong, lol. But that's a such a small sliver of the whole. It's hard to write something where you could have no idea how badly you're fucking it up cause it's just a big blind spot. And I don't have the time to become a real hockey fan haha. Sorry, this kind of turned into a ramble, but if you know the post(s) that would be helpful

Hi anon! First of all, I love to see you reaching out 🫡🫡🫡

Second of all, I've reblogged or posted a lot of things about this here and you can find them most in my hockey and hr tag and hockey ref tag.

I'll make a more helpful directory at some point but here's a quick guide. Some are more basic and some are a little more involved (in brackets the stuff I touched on specifically worth pointing out):

Points (goals & assists)

The BOS/MTL of it all

More about why the BOS/MTL rivalry is so intense (players identities tied up with their teams, the extreme 'team first' nature of hockey)

Does/would Shane fight? Is he a good fighter? (touched a bit on star players fighting and why Shane's style of play doesn't lend itself to fighting)

Teeth???

Does Ilya fight? (Briefly touched Ilya's play style, imo and linked to more posts)

Why I think the Metros would never let Shane walk (part 1)

Why I think the Metros would never let Shane walk (part 2) (defending myself here against allegations of being naive about homophobia in hockey, referenced the real Montreal Canadiens quite a bit here)

Centaurs and Metros would still be a rivalry, y'all. It's not like, buddy buddy

Pre-season games (gets a little more specifically into the formatting of games through the season)

Hat tricks (touching on both goals and assists, generally how realistic the numbers shown in fics are)

Why Ilya Does Care About Hockey, Actually (This one is a little bigger than just maybe pure hockey facts but here I touch briefly on playoff formats, why its such a grueling sport etc)

Injuries (How injured are hockey players, in general? What can long term injuries look like?)

Specifics of handshake lines

How do teams choose captains? (I touch on alternate captains as well, as well) (I didn't touch on what captains do though so I will make a post about that soon bc I'm about to go insane lol)

Fighting in hockey (What are the risks? Why does it happen? What are the unwritten rules?)

Goalies question mark? (What's up with goalies? Why do people think they're weird? What's the culture around goalies in a team?)

Other people's posts:

Amazing post here answering "Realistically could Shane or Ilya get traded to the other's team (BOS/MTL)? Would MTL want/be able to get Ilya after his current contract?" (via @hothockey)

(This is a long post that touches on a LOT but I highly recommend it. Even if you don't plan on writing a trade or technicalities of anything, this will give you basics on: trades, contracts (entry-level contracts (which is what Shane and Ilya's first contracts would be) and otherwise), what can be implied about how good/bad BOS and MTL are, why these players lowkey have a lot less power than you think, even as stars)

I also added my thoughts to this post. Were they useful thoughts? Idk. My thoughts of how I think both guys would act towards their teams/what they value, how they see their role etc etc)

Why they should have included more hockey (specifically recommending this to understanding the BOS/MTL rivalry and also bigotry in hockey, I also added some stuff lol) (via @livinglaughinglove)

Basic 101 Post (Check the replies and reblogs to see what people have added! When you look in the reblogs, I highly rec filtering by reblogs with comment rather than reblogs with comment or tags to make it easier) (via @notlayingroses)

The last one is probably best for 101 stuff! There's some complicated stuff in the reblogs too but truly 101 stuff can be found here, especially just in the main post.

I honestly keep saying it but I should definitely just bite the bullet and make the post about captains and what they do. This is getting dire lmao.

We see it over and over how commentators and reporters dig into him as a person, labeling him as a single-minded hockey machine from the jump, something we can see has garnered him a larger reputation when people are genuinely shocked by his humor/ quips. People don’t expect a human when they interact with the Shane Hollander.

And these characterizations don’t just come from nowhere. Teachers who thought he was obsessive, juniors teammates he never connected with, friends he lost because they felt like he didn’t care. And that’s the crux of it all, people think he doesn’t care, can’t care, about anything other than hockey, so they tell him, because why would he care.

They tell him he’s a bad friend, he’s selfish, unaware, unsympathetic. He’s cold and distant and uncaring. All the things that break relationships, make people leave.

And it’s not true, he cares so much about everything all the time, but it’s not the right way, not the way everyone wants him to. So of course when he has someone he loves more than anything, it becomes crucial, vital, than Ilya knows

“Ilya, I love you.”

“I love you t-”

“No. Ilya, like, I really love you.”

“Yes, yes, and I love-”

“No I’m serious. I really do love you, I promise. I love you so much.”

“Yes…. Okey, I… are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine I just… please believe me. I really do love you. I’m not lying. Here. Feel my heartbeat. See? It’s beating faster because I do actually love you.”

“…I think you are having panic attack.”

“Fuck, Ilya no, it’s because I love you. I really really do. I can prove it, please, I can-”

“Hollander stop. You are having panic attack. Is okay, I know, I love you too. Please take a breath you are scaring me. Come here.”

And Ilya hugs him through the night rocking him slowly and kissing the crown of Shane’s head and all Shane can think about is how he failed to truly convince himself Ilya.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/83067451

a story acknowledging the ways queer people can often be deeply queerphobic and racist? sign me tf UP. it's only 6k words and I'm currently taking a breather half way through because of my fury like the way I've had these exact experiences GOD

his anxiety was never about the general public's opinion on his relationship it was about how it would affect his ability to keep playing hockey and his long term legacy as The Shane Fucking Hollander

If someone were, as a random example, say hospitalized for over two weeks with no explanation, I think that should automatically trigger a special election to replace them.

If you're still able to do your job, then prove it. And if you're not, then you're actively obstructing democracy by not stepping down.

Which is to say, that if a public official were to pass away or into a coma, and their handlers choose to obfuscate that fact, this should be seen as intentionally obstructing democracy.