grow fins, go back in the water

ai will literally straight up say "I can make mistakes :)" and be accepted by millions of companies worldwide. meanwhile you'll either get fired or get your resume thrown into a trash can if you, as a human being, make one slight mistake or are not always performing perfectly

one thing about fanfic writers is that they'll write the most beautiful poetic shit ever and it'll be tagged as cock and ball torture

Love when tumblr users say things like, "people will do (allegedly problematic action) as if they don't even know that (thing I have never heard once before in my life)"

in case you don't know, the vast majority of people do not extensively research the origins of whatever slang terms they hear from kids on the internet. most people do not look up every artist or musician or writer whose work they engage with in case they might hold distasteful beliefs. most people just experience things and move on with their lives. this is not weird. am I crazy

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

yeah actually we removed the big bad wolf from the little red riding hood story because portraying violence against minors is really messed up. yeah. yeah also the wolf narrative was really predatory and had had some icky grooming vibes and a fable meant for literal children shouldn’t have implied p*do shit and grape so now little red riding hood goes into the woods and nothing happens and she goes to grandma’s house. don’t worry our kids will still stick to the path and know not to follow to wolves implicitly because we told them to and children should always do as their told. just like little red riding hood does now.

the ancient romans also had the backrooms but they thought it was normal so they didnt write it down

"omgg there's NO platonic explanation for this, I can't imagine doing [typical and completely neutral act of human affection] with my friends!!" Skill issue

That's because this is Silmarillion

the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

[ID: first image is a screenshot of Bilbo talking to the hobbits at his birthday party from "The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring." The second image is the text of the original post written in a Tolkien elvish script. End ID.]

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

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