Is Butter A Carb?

doctor: you’re also fresh out of potassium me: 0K

Stop telling people in twitter that things already happened in tumblr!!! I wanna see them organize their own dashcon, dont discourage them!!!

i wanna make food for somebody 🥺😭

i wanna throw a hand grenade in my toilet

you've heard of surprised pikachu, now get ready for distressed raichu

The world isn’t ready for distressed Raichu but here it is anyway

RIDE 'EM CRAWBOY

I really enjoy just existing in hotels. The long identical hallways. The soulless abstract art. The weird noises the air-conditioner makes. Strange city lights in the window. Six stories off the ground. Strangers chatting in the hall. Nothing in the dresser. No past, but an infinite present. 

I know this place in California that I really think you’d like

phineas and ferb quarantine episode where candace is convinced that this time her mom will see what the boys are doing because nobody can even leave the house but somehow linda is always in the wrong room

Perry makes sure to do a full decontamination on his way home, to make sure Phineas and Ferb don’t get any potential virus particles on them after petting him and picking him up.

at one point while doof and perry are fighting doof goes “wait! i forget to put on my mask” and perry stops punching him to let him put on his mask then they just go back to fightung

The spirit of the show really does live on

biting is a love language. no i will not elaborate.

my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

King

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

Thanks I hate it

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

britain gay as fuck for naming a town “man chest”