He is an expert at stifling - not because he's embarrassed by sneezing but because he finds it intrusive and distracting. He doesn't care to be fussed over in any way, and sneezing very quietly is the best way to avoid that attention

He always has a clean, neatly folded handkerchief on his person (sometimes several). He habitually sneezes into it (even if he's stifling his sneezes) out of manners

He is horribly allergic to dogs. ENDLESS sneezing if he spends more than a couple of minutes around one (did not attend the mass animal neutering concert in Dethhealth in person for this reason lol). Dethklok do not know this about him and he intends to keep it that way forever

It's extremely rare that he gets sick but when he does he goes down. He'll avoid stifling when he has a cold/the flu etc because 1) that shit hurts and 2) it isn't conducive to ending his illness, nor does he want a sinus infection. He's *pragmatic* with his sneezes!! 😤

Has been sneezed on by every single Dethklok member at least once

One thought I have had a few times before is that he can be very paternal with Toki, especially when Toki is regressing emotionally, and has absolutely held a tissue to his face to catch a sneeze/has helped him blow his nose before. I just see the ✨vision✨ of it all

I think he sneezes primarily in doubles with a very small pause between them. Occasionally a third sneeze stronger than the first two will hit him about 5 seconds later and usually that will be it for a while. If he's having an allergic reaction, however, he has lengthy, drawn-out fits with a sneeze every 10 seconds or so, and it's a miserable experience for him

You know how sometimes people sneeze and then immediately blow their nose at the end of a sneeze - like it almost becomes the end of the sneeze? I can absolutely picture him doing that from time to time into his handkerchief

Is very polite and will bless people automatically unless he's distracted by something else. Doesn't mind being blessed but HATES when people make a huge deal out of a sneeze. An emphatic blessing would just piss him off, especially from somebody he doesn't care about - it's just a sneeze, people! Let's get back to the matter at hand 🧑‍💼📝

Sniffling pisses him the fuck off. He hates when people don't blow their nose when they need to. Has developed incredible self-control over his anger managing Dethklok, however; nobody would ever know how much it irritates him

His sneezes aren't very vocal sounding - mostly just a light spraying sound with a slight breathy first part of the sneeze. This changes depending on how long he's been sneezing, how tired he is or how sick. Has occasionally indulged in much bigger sneezes with a drawn out vocal exclamation at the end - in private!!

Some snz spellings (with the additional 3rd snz):

"Hh'ndt! Ndt!...Ndt'sh!"

Being a rich celebrity and spending as long as he had in America had weakened him. His childhood in Norway had been…challenging, but working long hours labouring in the snow in shorts and a t-shirt had resulted in a handful of undeniable positives; namely, an effortlessly toned body and an imperviousness to the cold. He could kiss that last perk goodbye, it seemed – right now he was fucking freezing.

It wasn’t only him feeling the cold, of course. The rest of the band were making it clear they were miserable – vocally and very loudly. It was unheard of that they were inconvenienced so severely and for so long. In totally unforeseen circumstances, their limo had broken down on the way to a show. In Finland. In mid-January. Of course, Charles had rallied as many Klokateers as possible to fix their vehicle, and it would be done soon (‘Shortly’, had been Charles’ vague response to the five of their outraged whining), but they’d been stood outside now without the benefit of heating for over ten minutes.

They’d huddled together like very gay penguins to fend off the worst of the cold. Toki had inched closer to Pickles, knowing that even though he was the least likely to provide as much body heat as, say, Nathan, he could get away with looping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer without getting punched in the nose. Pickles tossed an arm round his shoulder in response, trembling.

“GAHD, this fuckin’ SUCKS!” The drummer was groaning loudly. “’M colder than a witch’s tit, for fucks’ sake.”

Toki agreed. He would have complained too, but his teeth were chattering so hard he feared he would bite off his tongue if he tried.

“Guys! Guys, the coats are here!”

Toki whipped his head round at Murderface’s gleeful shouting. Just like he said, here came the Klokateers with arms full of the warmest winter garb they could have possibly hoped for.

“Oh, thank god.” Nathan grumbled, reaching urgently for the huge fur coat being proffered towards him. The rest of them were scrambling just as desperately, flinging the coats on and wrapping their arms around themselves, waiting for the relief to kick in. Everyone except Toki.

“No, thanks you.” He managed to stutter out to the very confused Klokateer in front of him.

“My lord?”

The rest of the band were watching, equally confused, as Toki waved him away.

“Dude, Toki – what the fuck? Aren’t you freezin’?” Pickles asked, practically buried in a huge fur coat of his own. He’d also covered his scalp with an ear-flapped hat, which, combined with the coat, gave him the appearance of a diminutive billionaire lumberjack.

“We ams gettings back in the cars soons. There ams no point.” Toki said, clutching himself in an ineffective embrace. He couldn’t even feel his arms anymore – ridiculous. He could go for hours as a child without so much as noticing the snow.

Skwisgaar scoffed, shuddering with his arms wrapped round himself in the most luxurious fur coat of the bunch.

“It amnt’s a competition, Toki. You don’ts fools any of us, we cans sees you tremblings like a littles goil.” He spat, obviously on the precipice of a legendary temper tantrum. Toki thought it was rich that he was so quick to hurl insults when he looked absolutely wrecked by their circumstances. His nose was almost bright red, standing out starkly in the centre of his pallid complexion.

“Yeah, Toki! Don’t be an asshole.” Murderface chimed in, trembling just as much if not more violently than Skwisgaar. At least Toki could pride himself on the fact that he was shaking the least of any of them. Still, he decided, this wasn’t worth the aggravation.

“Fucks off, Williams.” He spat, then gestured over to the hovering Klokateer, who jogged forward eagerly to present the coat to him.

“Theres,” He snapped, yanking the coat round himself. “Ams you alls happy, now?”

“Not yet.” Pickles said, and before Toki could protest, he was wrapping a thick, woollen scarf round Toki’s neck.

“It gets cold in Wisconsin too, y’know. Just humour me. I don’t want anyone to get sick on this tour. I’m sick of being sick.”

“You’re such a mom, dude.” Nathan jabbed, watching Pickles work.

“And you’re a broken fuckin’ record. Floridian baby.” Pickles flipped him off. “Don’t underestimate your ability to catch a cold and then give it directly to me.”

Toki listened to them bicker, allowing himself to sink into the warmth of both the coat and the scarf. In all honesty, he’d never worn a scarf before. He’d never needed to, nor seen much point in it. Still, it was nice. He nestled his face into it, enjoying the plush softness of the fibres against his wind-numbed skin.

After another five minutes or so, the limo was finally back in working condition. They piled into it eagerly as Charles spoke conspiratorially into his phone – someone was losing their head over this. Toki didn’t particularly have a problem with that. He sat down next to Murderface across from the rest of the band and closed his eyes, waiting for his body to recognise the benefit of the car’s heating. An errant tickle teased at his nostrils for a split second; he scrunched his nose up in response, which seemed to do the trick.

For the next ten minutes, nobody was saying much of anything – mostly because their chattering teeth was impeding their ability to complain. Toki was finally starting to feel comfortably warm and more than a little drowsy. He would have surrendered to a quick nap were it not for the fact that he didn’t want to be groggy right before a show. That he’d played shows totally shit-faced was neither here nor there.

He nuzzled further into the scarf, enjoying the way it trapped the warmth of his exhales against his face. He hated having a cold nose – it was one of the few things he did remember actively disliking about working in the snow – and he had to admit the scarf was doing wonders at warming it up. He sighed, sinking into the seat, hands buried comfortably in the pockets of his coat.

Gradually, conversation started to flow between them. Toki listened with subdued interest as Nathan and Murderface discussed the pros and cons of shotguns vs rifles. Pickles appeared to be sleeping; Skwisgaar looked bored and sullen.

Suddenly, a familiar tickling sensation was once again fizzing up in his sinuses, originating in the back of his nose and slowly suffusing the rest of it right down to his nostrils. They arched and flared in irritation, twitching angrily as the sensation continued to build.

Toki frowned, sitting up taller in his seat. He was definitely going to sneeze, but he’d never before experienced a build-up like this. A sneeze normally didn’t take much fanfare – the tickle would peak, the sneeze would come out, and that would be that. This time, though, it felt as though several sneezes worth of tickles were creeping lazily throughout his nose in gentle pulses, so itchy it was driving him insane. He grunted, extracted one of his hands to reach up and scrub at his nose, using a knuckle to dig slightly inside his nostrils. Nobody seemed to notice his predicament, which suited him just fine, as the last thing he needed right now was any sort of comment that would distract him from achieving this horrendously stubborn sneeze.

At last, the sensation was starting to concentrate into a sharper, more deliberate tickling. Relieved, Toki allowed his face to slacken in preparation, mouth falling open and eyelids sliding shut. His brows furrowed as he took in several quiet gasps of air, and then –

“HhAHPP’TIShhh!! HaH’PFFT’TShahh!!”

He sneezed openly, spraying the air in front of him with a gentle aerosol that glittered in the dim lighting. Fucking finally, he thought, indulgently scrubbing at his nostrils again, ignoring that his fingers came away damp in the aftermath. Nobody bothered to bless him, but he was used to the general rudeness of his bandmates and it upset him far less than it had years ago. He tried to bless everyone when he got the chance; it was just a nice thing to do. He nuzzled his face back into the scarf and relaxed again.

It was only a couple of minutes later when the tickle returned, far stronger than before. It barely gave him a couple of seconds of recognition before his breath was scissoring in and out of him, more dramatically than he was usually prone. He couldn’t help it – it just tickled so much.

He gasped one last time, mouth wide open and eyebrows furrowed in an expression of total desperation. The sneezes, when they came, seemed to tumble right over one another – an endless stream of bothersome releases that felt as though they were encouraging more sneezes to follow rather than scratching the itch.

“HEhK’TSHhh-TISHHh’Ahh!! HEhb’tshhuu!-HEHPP’TZShh’uu!-HAB’PFFTShh!!”

“Wowee…” Toki muttered, feeling slightly dizzy from the sheer violence of his fit. He couldn’t remember ever sneezing with such rapid intensity, even when he’d had that awful cold last year that left him flat on his ass for a week. He wiped his damp lips on the back of his hand, revelling in how fucking nice those sneezes had felt. They’d felt so good and taken so much of his concentration, in fact, that he’d forgotten about the four other men sitting near him.

Looking round gingerly, he noticed that Murderface had shimmied himself further down the row of seats with a look of disgust on his face. Both Skwisgaar and Nathan on the bench opposite were looking just as irritated. Only Pickles seemed unbothered, smirking at the spectacle.

“Come on, man – cover your fucking mouth.” Nathan muttered. “Say it don’t spray it.”

“Ha!” Pickles barked out a laugh, slipping further down in his seat into an even deeper sprawl than usual. “Aw, man. That’s fucking rich, Nate. God love you, you fuckin’ hypocrite.”

Nathan shrugged as if to say ‘yeah, and so fucking what’, entirely unbothered.

“Sorry.” Toki muttered, snuffling, feeling a little embarrassed that he hadn’t even had the foresight to turn his head to the side. That tickle had just been too irresistible.

“Ugh. Diskustings. Don’ts give to me your colds, Toki.” Skwisgaar grumbled.

Toki glared daggers at him. He hated when Skwisgaar directed his general snobbishness towards him in particular, and he doubly hated how it always seemed to trigger a reactionary anger within him. It was like a game he could never win at.

“You’re sick, Toki?” Nathan asked, sounding surprised.

“Nah.” Pickles murmured, closing his eyes again and stifling a yawn. “He’s just thawin’ out. Ignore the Ice Queen.”

Skwisgaar offered a dismissive ‘fucks you’, turning away from Toki’s glare with an air of such practiced disinterest that Toki wanted to cave his pretty face in with a swiftly delivered punch. Whatever. If he wanted to be a sulky bitch, it was no skin off Toki’s nose. Speaking of…

 “HeHH’PFFTSH’Ahh!! EHD’TZShht!! TZSHH’AHhh!!....Heh! HEPT’CHOOooh!!”

He did turn to the side this time, sneezing openly to his left.

“Excuse me’s.” He added a little absentmindedly. Why was he sneezing so much? Was he really just ‘thawing out’?

“Bless you.” Nathan said, looking less convinced of Pickles’ theory by the second.

Pickles muttered a closed-eyes, sleepy blessing as well. Skwisgaar pointedly did not, even though Toki knew he almost reflexively had done. Apparently his mood was now Toki’s problem, which meant that the concert would be a tense one where Toki would have to be less ostentatious with his playing to avoid Skwisgaar having one of his narcissistic meltdowns as the lead guitarist. Murderface was being surprisingly quiet; Toki glanced to his right and noticed he’d fallen asleep, head tipped back and mouth wide open. Perhaps he should get over himself and attempt to power-nap for the last ten minutes of the journey as well.

It didn’t work. The sneezing was apparently there to stay, and every minute Toki would snap forward with another couple of spraying releases – increasingly (and embarrassingly) vocal as they grew in intensity.

“Heh’EHHPP’TSZHIEWww!! HUP’TZSHOOHh!! Heh-ehh!! PFFT’TSHAHh!!”

Nathan had stopped blessing him and was glaring at him with suspicion, in a way that made Toki almost physically squirm with discomfort. Luckily, he was finally convinced of the thawing out theory when both Pickles and Skwisgaar succumbed to it.

“Huh’ISHH’OOhh!!  Hh’ISHHHHTt!! ISHHHH’IEwww! H’ohhh…” Skwisgaar sneezed elegantly at the knuckles of one hastily raised hand before sighing indulgently in the aftermath. Toki couldn’t prevent himself from muttering a surprised ‘Bless yous!’, then simmered a little as Skwisgaar smirked at him in response. He’d lost another unspoken game. He buried his face into the scarf so that some of his disappointment was hidden from the Swede.

“Heh’ngxt! NGxt’tshiew-NDd’tt! Hehd’TSHH’IEww!! ATSCH’Oooh-!! Whoo!” His attention was drawn to Pickles, who was lazily sawing a finger back and forth under his nostrils, looking very pleased with himself. “See, Nate – thawin’ out. Shit’s normal.”

“Jesus Christ, shut up.” Murderface grumbled and turned away from the rest of them before falling asleep again almost immediately.

“Bless yous.” Toki said, feeling the tickle flaring up yet again. Even though Nathan had changed his mind, Toki wasn’t so sure he wasn’t getting sick at this point. Helpless to stop it, his head tilted back with another soft series of hitching gasps as the oncoming sneezes bullied their way out of him.

“HeHB’TSHAHH! HuPT’TSHH’Uuu!!”

~~~~~

 “hH! HEHh’PFTSHHh!! Hep’TZSHH’Ahh!! EhH’TZSHHH! ‘DZZ’SHAhhh!!”

Toki sighed, gripping the edge of the dressing room table he’d thoroughly doused and steadying himself after those particularly boisterous sneezes. Though still very intense, they were luckily starting to taper off thirty minutes after arriving at the venue. He wondered, vaguely, if there had been something in the car he’d been allergic to.

He reached for a tissue to dab gingerly around his nose and mouth in an effort not to smear the recently applied and still drying corpse paint. He looked over at his bandmates – no blessings, from any of them. They’d become bored with the spectacle of it, it seemed. He couldn’t really complain, he supposed – even he would have become tired of blessing somebody that frequently. It was good that everyone appeared re-energised after their little misadventure, including Skwisgaar, who was strumming enthusiastically on his guitar. This was reassuring – Toki could maybe slip in a little solo of his own without receiving too much of a major blowback.

“Masters – you are due on stage in ten minutes.” A Klokateer at the doorway announced, backing away hastily when Murderface threw a half-full beer can in his direction.

Blowing his nose one last time and checking that the damage to his face wasn’t too brutal (in the non-metal way), Toki braced himself.

~~~~~

All in all, it had been a great concert – even better than Toki had expected, given his nose was still a little stuffy and his throat residually sore from some of his louder sneezes. The others had had a great time too and wasted no time getting wasted backstage. He drank a couple of beers, but honestly, he was so tired from the sneezing and the show he just wanted to turn in for the night. He’d also accidentally walked in on Nathan blowing his load in a groupie’s mouth just moments earlier and didn’t want to know – or find out – if the vocalist had seen Toki fleeing the scene back towards their changing room.

“Heyyy, Toki!” Pickles called after him. Toki waited as the shorter man jogged over to him, substantially inebriated and almost tripping over his own feet. “We’re gonna go outside and have a snowball fight with some roadies – you coming with?”

Toki smiled softly. Any other day and a snowball fight would have sounded amazing.

“No thanks, Pickle. I needs to sleeps. I’m real tired.”

“Huh. Well, okay. You and Skwisgaar’re no fun.” He slurred without any actual derision or disappointment.

Toki tilted his head slightly.

“Why? Whats abouts him?”

“Ohh, he left with like – eight fucking chicks, including the girl I was making it sweet with. Well, whatever.” He smirked. “I’m too drunk to fuck anyway.”

Toki tried to smile back, but the thought of Skwisgaar habitually abandoning their collective goofing off time as a band to fuck his way through half the female population soured his mood. He felt like it wasn’t reasonable for him to be upset, given he was also ditching, but it bothered him all the same.

“Wells – sees you tomorrow, I guess.” Toki said, turning and recommencing his journey.

“Bye, dude. Look after yourself.” Pickles called out, jogging away before Toki had a chance to respond

~~~~~

“Gets me a cars, please.” Toki said to the Klokateer walking past the open door of the changing room. He quickly hurried away and was back before Toki had even finished pulling on his coat and scarf.

“Unfortunately, sire, the weather means a car will take at least thirty minutes to arrive.”

Toki sighed, slumping down into a nearby seat.

“Okays. Comes gets me when it’s here.”

“Of course, sire.” The Klokateer slipped away, closing the door behind him.

Alone again, Toki nestled into his warm outerwear. He’d been sold on it – a nice, big, warm coat and a soft scarf felt like a hug from a benevolent winter god. He may as well use this time before the car arrived to get a head start on the sleep he’d be getting in the car.

It was no use. Like some kind of cruel joke, right as he was beginning to drift off, his nose started to tickle.

“You gots to be fuckings kidding me…” He snapped, sitting upright and angrily mashing his nose from side to side with a raised fist. It did nothing to alleviate the tickle – in fact, it made it ten times worse, so strong and overpowering he coughed several times before hurtling into a gasping build-up.

“Hht-! Hiht-! Hh-Huhh-!!”

Holy fuck, his nose tickled. Oh, he needed to sneeze. What the hell was wrong with him?!

 “-!! hhHAHHHPP’SHHAAAaaahh!!”

The first sneeze practically barrelled him forward, pulling itself out of him in a cloud of glittering spray. He’d barely finished the sneeze, ending on a dramatic, elongated exclamation, before his head was rocking back with another uncontrollable gasp. His nostrils twitched, flaring in and out as the tickle overwhelmed him.

“EMMPF’SHhhahh!! HehPT’TCHUuu!! F-fuck-!!”

Gasping in the aftermath, Toki snuffled automatically as mess started to amass in his sinuses. It only served to fan the flames of the tickle so intensely that his head shook from side to side before he was tossed forward with another earth-shattering double.

“HH’YISHHHH’Uhhhh!! HAPPFTT’TZSHHIEWww!!”

Fuck. His head was spinning with a combination of pleasure and light-headed exhaustion, but he still wasn’t done. With the destructive bargaining of an eczema sufferer justifying one last indulgent scratch, he pleaded with his nose: just one more sneeze, a really big one.

He purposely sniffled in huge inhales of air, coughing slightly as the congestion shifted inside his nostrils, but it was working. He could feel the tickle building and building, getting bigger and bigger and spreading outwards in teasing tendrils throughout the entirety of his nose, from the innermost depths to the taut and delicate skin of his arching nostrils.

“Heh…!”

He tried not to blush at the sound of his own needy gasps and sighs, working himself up to the sneeze that he begged would put an end to his predicament. His breath snagged on one final gasp, head tipping back and face a miasma of ticklish surrender, and then –

“-hhHUHHH’EIZSHHHH’AAAAHhhh!!!”

Ohhh, yeah. That felt fucking incredible. Toki gripped the arms of the chair as he was tossed forward with the mighty release, one knee jerking upward, an uncharacteristically loud exclamation of a sneeze more fitting for Nathan than him. It hurt his throat, but damned if the rush of relief that washed over him didn’t make up for it. Maybe he would sneeze like that more on purpose, if it always felt so good.

“God blesses you, Toki!”

“Oh.” Toki said in surprise, blinking up at the blonde and righting himself. He glanced warily at the obvious spattering of visible droplets adorning the floor before him, hoping Skwisgaar wouldn’t notice the mess he’d made. “Hej.”

“Hej yous-selfs.” Skwisgaar responded in a sickeningly friendly fashion, sitting himself down in the seat nearest to Toki. “I could hears you sneezings from down the hall.”

Toki cringed slightly. He knew he’d been making a racket, but he didn’t know it’d been quite as loud as that.

“I thoughts yous went backs to the hotel?” He asked, wanting to change the topic.

Skwisgaar smirked.

“Didn’t gets that far.” He drawled seductively. Toki rolled his eyes, pretending that the low register of his smug voice hadn’t made his stomach flip over with nervous excitement. He was actually grateful when the tickle reared its head again, saving him from offering any actual response.

“HehP’TSCHahh!! Heh’PFFTSH’ah!! HUPT’TZShhuu! ‘dDZZ’SHOOhh!!”

When he sneezed this time, he didn’t allow himself to indulge to such a ridiculous degree, keeping their volume at a much more Toki-appropriate level. Whilst he still didn’t cover, he spared Skwisgaar the brunt of the sneezes, tilting his head to the side.

“Oh, prosit.” The Swede cooed from beside him.

Toki moaned, slumping in his chair and letting his eyes slide shut. He rubbed at his nose through the scarf, enjoying the sensation of the soft fabric against his irritated nostrils. It was a shame he was making it all wet.

“Takk.” He sighed gratefully, too tired to remember to be annoyed at Skwisgaar – especially when he was being so nice. He usually was after a good fuck – not that that was unique to him. Toki considered whether he had the energy to jerk himself off before he passed out in the hotel. He hoped the sneezing would have stopped by then.

His eyes jerked open in surprise at the sensation of Skwisgaar’s hand pressing gently against his forehead, palm side down. He peered at Skwisgaar, surprised to find him looking back at him with mild concern.

“You don’ts have a fevers, at leasts.” He said, pulling back his hand and touching his own forehead with it for comparison.

“I don’ts feels sick, I tolds you before.” Toki snapped, feeling flustered and frustrated with himself. “And don’ts touch me!” He added, even though Skwisgaar had already stopped. “You’s probably got pussy juice alls over your hands.”

Skwisgaar tutted, looking mildly irritated. That gave Toki a little relief, at least – he wasn’t sure he could handle Skwisgaar being that caring towards him, even though he really liked it.

“I washed my's hands, Toki. You ams so annoyings.”  Skwisgaar grumbled, looking disappointed to be rebuffed. Toki despaired to find that lashing out hadn’t made Skwisgaar angry, but uncharacteristically sad. Great. Now he felt like an asshole. After an agonising beat of awkward silence, he sighed.

“…Sorrys. I’m tireds.” He apologised. Skwisgaar didn’t speak, but the scowl on his face visibly relaxed. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he had the chance he was cut off by a sudden, desperate gasp from Toki.

“EMPP’SHahh!! Hah’TZSHH’uu!! Hehp’PFFTShh!! HUPT’TSHooh!! Fucks me…stupids sneezes!”

“Bless yous, Toki!”

“Thanks yous. ‘scuse me.”

Deciding it was a lost cause to keep it dry, Toki rubbed his damp nostrils into the scarf once more, scrubbing indulgently. When he looked up a moment later, he was perturbed to find Skwisgaar watching him intently.

“Whats is it?” He asked, blinking frantically as, very annoyingly, his eyes had started to water. Fat tears spilled down his cheeks in dual streams, which he pawed at, swearing under his breath.

“Toki – I thinks it ams the scarf what ams makings you sneeze likes that.”

Toki blinked.

“What?” He unfurled the scarf, eyeing it suspiciously. “But whys?”

Skwisgaar shrugged.

“I don’t knows – a wools allergy, maybes?”

Toki thought for a moment. All the sweaters he’d owned – they’d been polyester, or exceedingly expensive cashmere wool. He didn’t think this scarf was either of those things.

“Ams that a thing?” He asked Skwisgaar.

“I thoughts it was. Either ways – your nose don’ts likes it.”

If that was true, then fuck the fucking thing. Toki hurled it away from himself, but Skwisgaar intercepted it midair, laughing.

“Heres, Toki – you wants to makes sure? Tries this.”

He leaned forward, bringing the scarf up to Toki’s face and cupping it over his mouth and nose. Toki raised an eyebrow, peering at him with such naked scepticism that Skwisgaar laughed again, a low rumbling sound akin to a big cat purring.

“Sniffs it. I bets you’ll sneeze agains.”

He didn’t really want to sneeze again, but Toki was curious enough that he would humour Skwisgaar to find out for himself. He inhaled deeply through his nose, forcefully enough that the soft fabric formed a gentle seal around his nostrils.

For a second, he felt nothing at all, and then the tickle hit him like a freight train. It was so itchy that he didn’t even get a chance to inhale before the first sneeze struck. His head bobbed forward into Skwisgaar’s hand with a strange, cough-like release that made the both of them jump. He inhaled immediately afterwards, face peeking out from the scarf for a moment before being forced back in with the power of the oncoming fit.

“Hh’MPPFSHHH!! EMPP’FSHHH!! HH’MPPTCHhh!!”

Toki trembled, reaching up with one shaky hand to grip at Skwisgaar’s wrist, the other flailing for the chair arm. Skwisgaar was laughing again, a beautiful, good-natured sound so different to the cruelty Toki was used to hearing. He wished he could stop sneezing long enough to appreciate it entirely, but unfortunately his body had other ideas.

“EMPPTTSHH’Ahh!! MMPT’TSHHHh!! HuHH’MPFTSHH!!”

”Prosit, Toki. Du är jättesöt.”

Toki blushed. With both the incredible amount of energy it was taking him to sneeze and the extremely rare and hard come-by compliments from Skwisgaar, he felt like his body was on fire. But fuck, he still needed to sneeze.

“HAB’TSHHHhtt!! MPFTSH’Ahhh!!”

“Bless yous, Toki. Ams you okay?”

Toki coughed softly. He was nearly finished, he could tell – but all of a sudden, his nose was refusing to let him sneeze. He gasped, whining miserably when the tickly sensation refused to culminate.

“I just – needs to-!”

“Ams it stuck?”

Toki sniffled, glancing at Skwisgaar from under fluttering, tear-damp eyelashes.

“Ja - hjelp meg?”

Looking amused but painfully fond, Skwisgaar gently probed at Toki’s nose through the scarf, manipulating the tip of it in small, tickly circles that were – yeah, it was going to make him-!

“EHMM’PFFTSHHH’AHHhh-! Ohhh…endelig ferdig…”

Skwisgaar chuckled, gently wiping at Toki’s nose with the traitorous scarf.

“Needs to blow?”

Toki nodded, barely hesitating before blowing his nose enthusiastically, helped along by Skwisgaar’s strong fingers pinching each nostril shut in turn. When he was finished, Skwisgaar balled the soiled fabric up and tossed it with annoying precision into the bin on the other side of the room.

“I should be in the NBL’s, no?” He joked.

Toki smiled despite himself. The sneezing, the compliments and the effortless way in which Skwisgaar had aided him had left him feeling warm and cozy. So what if his face was uncomfortably itchy and he had to leave his mouth open a little to accommodate his swollen sinuses? Nice Skwisgaar appeared once in a blue moon, and he wanted to milk it.

“I’m so tireds.” He whined, nudging Skwisgaar’s boot with his own.

“Dids you calls a car?” Skwisgaar asked, reaching forward and pushing a stray strand of Toki’s hair back from his face.

“Ja. It shouldn’t be longs now.”

“I’ll comes with you, ja?”

“Okays.”

~~~~~

Toki leaned his head happily against Skwisgaar’s shoulder in the back of their car. The older man had an arm wrapped securely, protectively round Toki’s shoulders. Whenever Toki would pitch forward with a residual series of sneezes, his hand would slide down Toki’s back to rub reassuring circles, and he would bless him quietly.

It was addictive, being treated so well by Skwisgaar. He hated him so much at times, but it was only because Skwisgaar was such a prick, normally. He’d been so much kinder to Toki when he’d first joined Dethklok as a teenager, but something had changed over the years. He wasn’t sure if it was fame going to both of their heads or something much deeper, but he resented it. It was so much better when they got along.

He could feel the antihistamines (Skwisgaar had shouted down a Klokateer to procure them for him) working. His nose was still tickly, but the horrible itching and burning was starting to recede. He sniffled, pleased to discover it didn’t trigger an immediate sneezing fit.

“You ams feelings better?” Skwisgaar asked.

“Yeps. Thanks you.”

Skwisgaar pressed a kiss to Toki’s temple. That was the final straw for the erection Toki had been suppressing for the better part of half an hour. He squirmed a little in his seat, successfully stifling a moan as Skwisgaar’s wandering hand reached under the glossy curtain of his hair to stroke at the nape of his neck.

“You knows,” Skwisgaar started, sounding far too casual for Toki’s liking. “You coulds fucks a groupie when we gets back – might makes you feels even better.”

“Don’t wants to fuck nobodies right now.” Toki practically purred as Skwisgaar’s fingers skimmed effortlessly over the spot he knew reliably reduced Toki to a puddle of shuddering goo.

“Nobodies?” Skwisgaar murmured, voice low and velvety.

Toki smirked. There it was. He turned his face towards Skwisgaar, eyes darting back and forth between each of Skwisgaar’s blown-out pupils, searching for confirmation.

“Depends on yous.” He smiled, knowing he had Skwisgaar exactly where he wanted him. “Those sluts not enoughs for you?”

“They ams nevers enough.” Skwisgaar said, eyes darting to Toki’s mouth.

Toki crushed their lips together, grateful for the opaque partition between them and the driver, thought it probably did little to drown out their mutual moaning. It wasn’t the best kiss they’d shared - mainly because Toki had to pull away rather quickly to breathe, stuffy nose be damned - but the way Skwisgaar tutted affectionately and pulled him back in for a softer kiss more than made up for it. He was feeling drunk on all the attention. Suddenly, all of his exhaustion had vanished.

~~~~~

Was there anything better for his ego than this? Getting Skwisgaar on all fours and moaning for him as he fucked him up the ass? The lead guitarist, the sex god, crying out his name and cumming for him – because of what Toki was doing to him?

He loved that Skwisgaar didn’t stop after one orgasm, like most guys – his longevity was legendary for a reason. It meant that in a moment, once Toki blew his load in his ass and made Skwisgaar cum for the second time, he would still be hard enough in minutes to fuck Toki up the ass, which always felt so good Toki swore he went cross-eyed each time.

It was a damned shame they didn’t do this more often, but that wasn’t on him. He’d make the most of it whilst he could.

“Heh-!”

He gasped, suddenly – a straggler of a sneeze was sneaking up on him. He let it build in tandem with the gasping breaths the pleasure of Skwisgaar’s slick, tight ass was bringing him.

He gently raked his blunt nails down Skwisgaar’s back, which the blonde loved, moaning predictably and so unabashedly that Toki nearly came on the spot. Before his orgasm had a chance to overwhelm him, however, the sneeze finally came to fruition. He let it come as it would, shuddering forward as it burst out of him, settling over Skwisgaar’s shoulder blades in a delicate cloud of aerosol.

“hHEHH’PFFTSH’Ahhh!!”

“Mm, prosit, Toki-!” Skwisgaar groaned underneath him, far from angry.

The dulcet, emphatic blessing and the aftermath of the satisfying sneeze was ultimately what did Toki in. With a shivering moan, he buried himself to the hilt in Skwisgaar, fucking into him with gentle thrusts as a powerful orgasm pulsed outwards from his cock in a soothing rush. It always felt so fucking good when he was with Skwisgaar – another level of ecstasy he rarely achieved without multiple partners, and never alone. It left him weak and dumb with pleasure, collapsing over Skwisgaar’s back when it eventually released him.

With what little part of his rational brain remained, he reached down, knocking Skwisgaar’s feverishly pumping hand out of the way and replacing it with his own, squeezing his long cock. Somehow managing not to lose his balance in his post-orgasmic splendour, Toki wrapped a strong arm round Skwisgaar’s slender torso and pulled his back flush against his chest, then pulled them both up into kneeling position. Skwisgaar’s head lolled back against his shoulder, and Toki took the chance to suck a hickey onto the pale column of his elegant neck. His asshole clenched around Toki’s flagging cock, making him hiss with overstimulated pleasure.

“Cums for me.” He murmured, feeling like the king of the world when Skwisgaar did, groaning and shuddering dramatically, squirting long arcs of cum into the air and across the satin bed sheets. He loved how loud Skwisgaar got – had hated it at first, thinking of it as performative the very first time they’d fucked, then quickly learned it was Skwisgaar at his most earnest.

When Skwisgaar finished and slumped bonelessly against Toki, the last of his strength gave out, and the pair of them sank down to the mattress with an ungainly flop. Toki couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so satisfied from sex. He nuzzled his face into Skwisgaar’s neck again, sweeping his blonde locks aside and sucking another hickey onto the skin.

“Hm.” Skwisgaar hummed, tilting his head to give Toki more room. “You wants to sleeps now? I thoughts you ams tireds.” Toki could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke, and the pride of knowing he’d made Skwisgaar so happy was almost better than the orgasm he’d just had.

“I’ll sleeps when you does.” He answered, blowing softly on the wet skin under his mouth and earning a full-bodied shiver from Skwisgaar.

“Fines.” Skwisgaar said, flipping Toki onto his back with such a smooth and skillful motion Toki could do nothing more than blink in surprise. He gazed up at the blonde hovering over him, hooking his hands under Toki’s knees and pushing his legs towards the mattress, spreading him. Toki’s spent cock started to fill with blood so quickly it hurt.

“Lets sees how much you cans handle.”

Translations:

Prosit - Bless you (swedish + norwegian)

Takk - Thank you (norwegian)

Du är jättesöt - You are so cute/you're the cutest (swedish)

Hjelp meg - Help me (norwegian)