screw it

blood is basically the most normal thing for a sword to hunger for. if a sword gained sentience and started asking me for blood i'd be like yeah i thought you might say that

shana tova everyone

getting that august feeling (things that have ended endlessly are ending again)

back when i was like 13 in english we read of mice and men and then we had to write a letter from the perspective of one of the main characters in it as homework. fun task! i liked creative writing. i picked lennie and purposefully wrote in simple, kind of broken sentences and made a couple spelling errors that were very clearly intentional (think 'wuz' instead of 'was') to show, yknow, it's lennie writing it, he's not gonna be out here writing elaborate prose. and then MRS BURTON MARKED ME DOWN FOR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR. and said i should use MORE COMPLEX SENTENCE STRUCTURE. i am now 28 years old and my blood still boils thinking about this

watching tv with your parents is such a humbling experience. you think everyone understands the basic content of a show but my dad was on season 2 episode 4 of severance and had to ask who mark was

thinking about Severance again and how It Gets. how the horrors of dehumanizing and imprisoning formal labor are only secondary to the next level of dehumanizing and imprisoning domestic labor. Literally one level, one floor down, and it's so much worse. Ms. Casey can't go home. Ms. Casey belongs to everyone else but it's all the time. Ms. Casey lives in a prison of holidays and errands and a marriage only in the other person's mind. and, of course, this is nothing, it's so small to live a life of errands, but it is also everything.

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

bbc sherlock wants what i have

I still haven't watched Severance but congratulations to the fandom for getting a Blorbo who did end up crying, soaking wet in a suit and tie, and covered in blood at the end of the show. This is like getting a superbowl ring but for fandom I think.

FOR REAL FOR REAL

I just had 3 crackers with chutney and sharp white cheddar . Then i had a ring of pineapple. I started to levitate, but i wasnt scared. Im not scared of anything

people will be like "i'm bored" meanwhile there's baking soda and vinegar in the cupboard. make a volcano dude

Imagine going on a movie date with a girl and she shows up to the movie theatre with a big huge fuckoff suspiciously large purse so you assume she’s maybe sneaking in snacks but the movie starts and you look over and she’s in the middle of a knitting project. She gets up halfway through the film to use the bathroom and accidentally knocks over her bag and balls of yarn go rolling down the aisle in the empty movie theatre like tumbleweeds and you have to go running after them. I think I’d marry her.

A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.