Eirby

do not, my friends, become addicted to touching. it will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.

it will take hold of me?🥺👉👈

sometimes i think abt that one art of that cocky guy at school who gets asked who he thinks is the prettiest in class and hes like "haha, me of course!" and everyone laughs and then the next panel shes alone in her room all dolled up kissing her reflection in the mirror repeatedly saying "youre so cute youre so cute"

we should do something cute like fuck in a public bathroom

DIYHRT.market is back as valerie.vg

reaching platinum 3 has my head in the clouds thinking up absurd fantasies like "I am capable of learning and improving at new skills" and "I am not fundamentally broken and doomed as a person"

I NEED elf pussy to be humbled or I am going to die in real life

Reaching diamond has me thinking much more nuanced and measured thoughts like "I am the sword of God" and "a river of blood will spill from all who defy me"

by the time I reach vanquisher the only way I'll be able to feel anything is if I straight up kill a real living person

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

The nurse doing my laser was like "you're doing really good, im impressed" and yk that shit went straight to my big fat head. why yes I am extremely good at sitting still while you torture me with laser beams, thank you

I am mostly a sub. However, one time I got to punch a girl in the stomach hard enough she collapsed on the floor with a shudder and mumbled an exultant "thank you", and let me tell you that felt fantastic

Didn't that last one actually get implemented into canon?

Another day being an Elder Red Dragon. Adventurers keep asking if they can fuck me. Buddy, they won't even let me fuck a dragon.

the problem with fantasyposting on here is the amount of people who try to "um actually" you on the basis that your post doesn't comply with the rules/mechanics/worldbuilding of dungeons and dragons

A fair number of these are also wrong about the rules/mechanics/worldbuilding of Dungeons and Dragons