I can't think of a title

Me when im in an area

Fat squirrel kept his distance but did indeed join me for my walk today. He followed at a distance. I Love you, fat distant squirrel.

I Love you, too, pukicho.

Come closer

Starting twin peaks

It's scaring my cat

NO

Fall Guys are like invasive among us! Right guys! Who's with me! Who's with me!

Not funny 👎

I can't currently even formulate anything stronger than "I'll kill you". Please threaten yourself for me

I'M GOING TO SAW OFF MY FEET

everyone on this website except me needs to shut up

everyone on this website except me and this swag ass lizard needs to shut up

*gives you the bare minimum so that you rely on me but can't usurp me

*gives you a little bit extra one day because I can tell you're thinking about usurping me - it works - you become docile once again

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

I love how safe everyone in the comments feels about being entirely dependant on a potentially psychopathic benefactor 😁

im nice…..

He’s literally nice

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

if i had a snake i wouldn't even teach it to drive

my silly little jester costume for the play I’m in is so fire you all wish you were me

no one has ever jingle jangled like I’m jingle jangling now

post cancelled they de-belled my costume for sound design reasons

Neutered

during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

black mackerel tabby with high white spotting

smirking bastard with grievous grin