man i love shrimp

having memory issues while also being mutuals with several people who like to change their url & pfp on the regular is really funny bc its like. ok i dont recognize you but you Smell Familiar so i guess you can come in.

You're stranded on a deserted island with the person on your lockscreen. How screwed are you?

you shoulda seen the size of those rooms, man, it was like, floor to ceiling

hey girl are you my slerp schedule because i am fucking you up

not what i meant to say

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

gen z is trying to cancel the mysterious and horrible obelisk im building at the edge of town

rise and shine to lesbians and bi women😍😍😍 stay hydrated and stay sexy 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰 everyone else….😒 good morning i guess…. 😐

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from hotTubSharts reading: and then maybe she'll wake you again at 6 to the sound of her puking on the floor. maybe /End ID]

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre