man i love shrimp

let's develop a perfect plan

1. get cozy in bed

there's actually a secret eighth deadly sin and it's exactly like gluttony except for textile projects

i'm trying to save money but oh my god. jesus christ

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

thankful for bread and butter and garlic #thankful

yummyummyummyummyummy yummy for piggy

hey, don't cry. fictional character in dire & perilous situations. ok?