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@effabledisaster

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do any of you guys remember that sculpture of theseus & the minotaur that lowkey looks like theseus is riding the minotaur like his life depends on it
this one?
Is the lowkey in the room with us?
Saw this when I was in London this summer, I stopped my friend to point at it and said "holy shit it's the statue of Theseus fucking the Minotaur" in the middle of the very busy museum.
the foreboding sense of doom? oh yeah i know that one. just double check you have your wallet, keys and some chapstick, works every time
was expecting to reblog this with a tongue-in-cheek reply to the many people saying "this didn't fix me :(" but somehow not a single person in the notes is disagreeing. everyone's just nodding their heads thoughtfully bc yeah that's how you deal with the Foreboding Sense Of Doom, that's good protocol
thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
sorry to put your tags on blast on this insane breach containment post I have since muted, but you're right and you should say it.
It is defeatable. Go for the throat.

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what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this causes ur brain to try to kill you with knives and hammers.
Yeah the thing is, when you're a kid, there are often a lot of people going out of their way to make things fun for you: parents, other family members, your friends' parents/families, adults at school and at community places like libraries...and that's on top of your friends your own age, and the general fact that as a kid having fun is one of your top priorities.
And then if you go to college, there aren't quite so many people making things fun for you--although there are RAs, and the student life office, and various clubs and organizations doing activities, etc.--but you're in an environment where your friends are nearby and you all have similar schedules and responsibilities, so a lot fun just kind of arises spontaneously.
But once you're out on your own, in the workforce and whatnot, all that just drops of a cliff. Planned activities for adults exist, but you generally have to seek them out, rather than having them relentlessly advertised to you and/or taking place in locations where you will bump into them on the way to breakfast. And your friends are all spread out, and everyone's busy at different times, so you aren't just bumping into people and getting sucked into whatever adventure they have going on, you have to make arrangements.
It's a big shift! If you have kids, you generally figure out pretty quick that your role is now the Planner Of Fun, but without that big obvious signpost, it can feel like the world just gradually stopped having fun things in it.
But it hasn't; you just have to plan and seek out opportunities for fun yourself, because it's no longer anyone else's job to put them in front of you--it's yours!
TL:DR, when you're an adult you've got to take yourself to the aquarium and pick out a plushie in the gift shop and pay for it with your own credit card; you don't just wake up one day and find out that's happening. (Or that it's a have-dinner-on-a-picnic-blanket-in-the-living-room day, or that you're going to your cousins' house where you can splash around in the creek and look for frogs, or that's it's the day when we put the speakers in the window and let the music echo in the alley down below while we wash the car, or anything!)
“They should be lovers!”
NO!!! Let there be strong connection based platonic relationships. Let there be soulmates that are best friends. Let there the red strings of fate that bind two people together that doesn’t involve romance. Let there be affection, devotion, and deep love. LET THEM BE!!!
it is tiring, being endless political just as someone existing. my teacher asks me if i’m writing more of that “feminist poetry.” a lot of it is just talking about me, being a woman, being afraid in the city. i write about walking a line, about how i am expected to choose between home and work, how each comes with a slew of its own insults; how it feels when i am wearing shorts and there are too many men outside. these are just facts of my life. someone in the comments says, “where are woman even coming up with these crazy generalizations in their feminism?”
i hold hands with the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen and someone sighs when they see me. “do they have to make everything gay?” she asks her friend, loudly, “like, do you have to force those views in my face all the time?” i can’t stop blushing. my girlfriend holds my fingers tighter, tighter, tighter, until my knuckles are white, and i let her. somehow, this is us, protesting.
my father’s cuban blood stains my skin, i think. when i am honored with a position in the dean’s private council, a boy sneers, “you only got in because you’re hispanic.” did i? i spend the rest of our meetings wondering if i was selected for my stellar academic record, for the multiple recommendations, for the clubs i lead - or if i was just a move the dean made, to make use of me. when we all take a picture, the dean brings me in the front. in the first three we take, i am not smiling.
it is odd. “i exist.” i say, “i deserve to exist.”
“oh my god,” he groans, “we get it, you’re a feminist.”

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immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand
#at least once a month I think about that one post about laminating a paper towel#and how that makes it immortal but also forever prevents it from fulfilling its true purpose#yes you will live. but at the cost of everything that makes you You
(courtesy of noknowshame)
Idk man it’s so easy to get bogged down in all the bullshit online but when my then-6 year old cousin found out I was trans he said “ok” then corrected my grandma when she misgendered me. I was once the third between a gay man and a lesbian. Two lesbians once invited me back to their place when I presented as a man. I met an AMAB nb butch who looked strikingly to outsiders like a cis man and it was one of the more sapphic experiences I’ve had. I nervously wore a boydyke shirt to pride and got 3 different cis-looking femme folks tell me they loved my shirt. I once told a trans group at a protest that any pronouns were fine for me and one person said “wow, I’m impressed and intimidated by people like that. I don’t know that I could be that chill with pronouns.” I once told a GNC friend I wished I could wear a type of “opposite” gender clothing after I had already transitioned and so it would be associated with my AGAB and he said “You could just do it.” I’ve had cishet men fight cops for me before. The first time I had a doctor ask me if my name was different than what was on my forms I had to try not to cry. Last week, a phone call with a doctor’s office where I am generally cis passing asked unprompted if my name listed is what I want to be called. It touched me then too. I told a lesbian friend once I felt like my attraction to men AND women both felt gay. She said “makes sense.” And we moved on. I go by different pronouns in different circles. I’ve had gay women love my facial hair. I’ve had gay men like my tits. It’s all out there, I promise. It can be hard to find it but I promise there is community like you and community who likes you. And it’s more messy and beautiful than tumblr discourse makes it out to be.
How do you sleep will never be as mean as too many people. Paul’s ass is straight up just saying “you’re a sleep deprived conniving stupid cokewhore and I have a hot beautiful sexy wife. You’re an annoying hypocrite and a sellout. My beautiful lovely sexy wife is waiting for me. It’s so over for you, you’re a lame loser who’s a one hit wonder. And oh your eating disorder too” and its even worse when you remember that paul wrote too many people on his own while john had people pitching in lines etc for how do you sleep
When the moon howls (yes please)
christmas movie where a city girl falls for a cowboy but they're both horny lesbians

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first rule of Cite Club: tell everyone where you learned about Cite Club
invizigothx. (2026, January 30). first rule of Cite Club: tell everyone where you learned about Cite Club [Text post]. Tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/invizigothx/807189844216446977/first-rule-of-cite-club-tell-everyone-where-you?source=share
the idea that predators and abusers are an ontological category of person, rather than everyone having the capacity to be predatory and abusive, leads to people having no regard for boundaries because they think that predation only comes from evil people ™