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got chatting with a mum and daughter who live on my street because we had all stopped to pet the same cat and the wee girl goes "do you know [other local cat's name]" and I was like oh yeah that cat is my next door neighbour we're best friends! then the mum asked "do you know her human's name" and I was like lol why would I know that

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

I SAID HOLD STILL

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown

BREAKFAST

it has come to my attention there exists a subset of reenactors who go around renaissance faires "infecting" bystanders with the Plague. i wish to thank these heroes for their service

bitches needed to hear this huh ♥ (you're bitches)

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

Quick shout out to the Down syndrome kid from my after-school program back when I was in grade school. Like yea he had the usual issues but he was a sweetheart and quite funny; and one day both his parents showed up at the same time to pick him up and I had the experience of meeting a family of genetically disabled people that had jobs and a home and a kid in school and it was a profoundly normalizing experience for me like I couldn’t take eugenicists seriously after that because like “no they totally can have whole entire meaningful lives with marriage and children and work and hobbies have you not met Dennis??” Anyway quick shout out to Dennis you were a real one

Elliot Page does not play Achilles in The Odyssey like transphobes were preemptively angry about but Homer just told me he updated the Iliad and Achilles is canonically transgender now and not just subtextually transgender like in the first draft.

I’m probably less sentimental and whimsical than the average bear but my brother is even less sentimental than I am so I’ll be like wow isn’t that a beautiful sunset and he’ll be like “it’s a sunset. There is nothing remarkable about it.” and then take photography of it that’s amazing and well done and then I compliment him as a fellow photographer and say I like his art and he’s like “it’s really easy to do” and I’m like “can you take a compliment” and he’s like “why should I” and then I have to fight back the urge to judo flip him