bing bong bing bong

steam repeatedly notifying you that a friend is booting up a game thats clearly not cooperating feels like ur sitting inside and someone outside keeps trying to rev up a lawnmower

whenever you take too much time to write something know it is because stephen king has been stealing your life force

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

girl are you a medieval executioner bc you are torturing me with your rack

A long distance friend is a kind of dead wife

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

but I know... it's my own damn fault...

are you guys gonna wrap it up with the dog motif anytime soon

literally man's best friend but whatever. i guess you do sexual roleplay as some kind of tender-leaved houseplant?

you know full well that my sexual roleplays are geological in nature

Worry about it kitten

nice outfit LOSER. 1443 called but in a dialect of Early Modern English that hadn't experienced the Great Vowel Shift yet so i don't know what it said

DICTATOR DOWN DICTATOR DOWN

Question 7: Assuming that the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation is correct, estimate how tall Christ our Lord must have been in order for His body to furnish all properly consecrated Communion wafers consumed to date. Justify your assumptions.

#ok but are we assuming average human density here or can we have a black hole jesus #will there be a noticeable gravitational effect from standing too close to our lord and savior #can i - and this is critical - can i be spaghettified by jesus (via @dreadful-puns-and-finger-guns)

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks