Hello

Empathy and attraction are both treated like inherent and essential parts of the human experience, and people who lack them are viewed as unfeeling, inhuman, or defective in some way.

Empathy and attraction are seen as the literal sole reason someone would engage in certain acts (helping others, dating, having sex). Allos and persotypicals often act like because THEIR motivation to do those things comes from their experiences of empathy/attraction, those are the ONLY POSSIBLE motivations, and thus anyone who lacks those feelings should not only be incapable of but entirely disinterested in those actions.

Which is frustrating because there are plenty of reasons why someone with no empathy might choose kind and helpful behaviours, or why an aroace person might choose to date or have sex. Other people just don't realise it because their motivation is the typical one, so they never have to look any deeper into it.

And of course, it's fine if someone with low empathy doesn't want to help another or someone without romantic/sexual attraction doesn't want to engage in those relationships; those choices shouldn't be forced on anyone and it doesn't make anyone less human or less deserving of basic respect. But I also think we shouldn't make assumptions about a person's choices based on the feelings they do or don't experience (and vice versa).

- “moo juice!”

- E G G - G I E

“It doesn’t tell ya how to eat it, so I don’t know if I need a knife and fork or if I need to tie my hair back” (about the very phallic looking candle salad)

“This pie is referred to as a chiffon. Now what does that mean? It means it was written by a white person.”

“We take our can of Spam and we cry :)”

This is your semi frequent reminder that there is no official AO3 app

All those are unofficial and available on the Google play store as of August 13th 2025. They mirror AO3's content and insert ads, for which the developer gets paid by page impression (that's every time the ad appears in the fic you're reading) not just clicks.

No money goes to AO3, nor to the fic writer. It goes to the person who did the bare minimum.

Many of these apps have poorly worded or non existent privacy policies, so they may also be mining as much data as possible and selling that on to unknown third parties.

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

It was a targeted harassment campaign orchestrated by TERFs to cause LGBT community infighting. And they were successful in pushing back the aspec community's progress in visibility and conversation, causing infighting in the broader LGBT community, and even causing infighting in the aspec community itself.

It's been about 6 years since the decline of ace discourse, and in that time we have not managed to move past aspec community infighting over assimilation to prevent that kind of harassment versus actually being ourselves and making progress as a community.

Every single "but aces can have sex too" and "but aros can have romantic relationships too" and "well we don't experience that much oppression" and every time an aspec meme is called "cringe", that's all assimilationist bullshit sourced from people trying to cater to the people who only wanted to crush us.

Spin the wheel to find out which

Aces are a pretty small % of the population in general. To say you’ll find another ace person and cohabit is a really small chance. As most people start to move in with their partners, single people, ace people kind of find themselves either priced out of housing options unless rich, or being forced to find other strangers in unusual living circumstances.

I don’t know. I just feel like you are left more on your own in a societal structure that prioritises two-parent-and-children households. Or more generally, that sets you up for marital and couples living rather than necessarily community living, at least in the west.

So what I’m saying is that maybe ‘oppression’ isn’t the word to bring to the advocacy table. It is saying that maybe the thing to remember is that ‘oppression’ won’t look the same for everyone. It’s a reminder that comparing the weight of apples and watermelons doesn’t even make sense.

(This isn’t even aimed at the shortsighted people that think pride is all about labels and being ‘in’ the club. This post is aimed at people that remember pride is a political struggle to improve the lives of people left behind by our current norms. It’s why e.g. disability activists also calling their advocacy disability pride is instantly understood by most.)

Did you know there's quite a lot of ace meetups in the Netherlands?

We're hosting meetups in Arnhem, but there's also meetups in Rotterdam, Tilburg, Utrecht, Maastricht and Zwolle!

Plus you have NOA (Nederlandse Organisatie Aseksualiteit), who made the above map and do a lot of cool stuff. They're hosting a meetup for international asexuality day today!

Spin this wheel to get your species

It is NOT the default, it is NOT human nature to exclude disabled people from society. By nature we look after each other, by nature disability is just a natural part of the human variety that's made us so successful as a species.

no official filtering system, you say?

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters