Never apologize for being authentically yourself

give me a few reasons to keep going

> roommate calls to get my chipotle order on his way home from work, doesnt listen to half of what I say n gotta repeat everything n I messed up my own shit

> roommate gets home, doesnt bring me my food but holds it in the living room until I go to see him

> burrito is fine but not good

> pass out bc tummy is full

> wake up to rlly bad asthma attack

> cannot find nebulizer

> roommate starts screaming bloody murder bc he saw a giant roach; screams for me every few seconds

> says he saw it go into my room

> me who has been holding my door closed bc it doesn't close properly has not seen anything for the past few minutes

> heart rate elevated, anxiety elevated, asthma attack getting worse

> roommate keeps insisting I come help him

> finally find nebulizer

> doesn't work

> has to call ambulance

> paramedics take ten years to show up n I find out they are same ones who had to sedate me

> paramedics not taking it seriously; take extra long to get me into the ambulance n have no treatment ready n I start panicking bc im getting worse

> try to take the top half of my onesie off bc my asthma makes me overheat n I was sweating so bad

> main dude is slightly irritated im stressing out n keeps telling me to breathe (his exact words: "ur focused on getting undressed and moving around, none of that is helping. just breathe" and that seemed to irritate my brain enough to be like im so very warm n overstimulated rn but okay tho)

> dissociate rlly hard until they get the treatment mask on me

> paramedics surprised when stickers for vitals don't stick to me (bc im sweating bullets n I tried to tell them that)

> paramedic unhooks breathing treatment for a minute on accident but doesn't notice until I start panicking again

> piss myself in ambulance bc incontinence n very much stress

> hospital nurses are saints when I get here

> roommate tells me "he was so scared" n texted my fucking mother when I left

> says he wants to "have a chat" when I get home

so fuckin dizzy

and like.

hes so fuckin rude and stupid and lazy for someone with such an inflated ego.

he keeps saying hes gonna clean house on his days off and then plays his playstation all day instead

he said he would handle the trash bin, didnt take it out for three weeks bc he had to put it in his truck and didnt feel like it, and is mad we have ants now

he used every single dish in the house to make chicken curry for himself last night, and then proceeded to buy paper plates right after on instacart bc he didnt want to do any dishes (he also never does dishes.)

he leaves his trash anywhere and everywhere, even tho I will open a new trash bag and he just never uses it (or claims he can't see it.)

he bought flea medicine for his cat but fuck the rest of em bc he doesn't care but complains we have fleas in the carpet n stuff

he has started taking his playstation controller to bed with him and keeps it in his room during the day so I can't use the game

he has turned off the wifi to all my personal devices so I can't use it

complains i go outside too often

he does the thing parents do where they call your name a bunch of times but never tell u what they want and then get upset u haven't shown up (alternative to this: he will call my fucking phone when we're both in the house instead of coming to my room to talk to me.)

will act like he likes me. even bought me a coloring book to "keep my motivation high" but then talk shit abt me to other ppl