I love spreadsheets

i know folks are gonna call me a pedo for this one, but i grew up seeing my mom and grandma naked. they had health issues and at times needed care and help showering. and i truly think more kids need to be shown the nonsexual reality of naked women at a young age. there is nothing sexual about my grandmothers breasts, they were simply body parts. more women die of heart attacks because people are too afraid of breasts to do real chest compressions, because they are scared to touch their breasts. the sexualization of our bodies literally kills us. i need people to be more normal about naked bodies and i'm 100% serious.

the road OUT of hell is also paved with good intentions. That’s just kind of the main road we’ve got

People think hell can afford TWO roads? In this economy? You're taking the Good Intentions Highway both directions, mate.

the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”

what

oh my god

well wooden shoe look at that

I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE 

every single fucking thing on earth exists solely to put a dent in your newly applied nail polish

Show daddy that nice picture again

Hey, hey, look me in the eyes when I tell you this okay? The whole "do trans women or trans men have it worse?" debate going on right now is the most obvious CIA bullshit on earth cause honestly we've both got it pretty shitty and fighting each other isn't helping anyone

drug addicts deserve housing, food, water, and healthcare btw

It’s funny how we all collectively agree that Joshua and Edward were 100% madly gay for each other.

My friend got a wound cauterized on his neck. He has a tumblr but he's not much of a casual poster, so I am doing woundposting on his behalf (with permission). #HisWound

You might be wondering why there was an attempt on his life. You see, he is a technomancer, who also hath a curse upon his bloodline. His enemies are fearful of his power and cunning, and so sent several assassins to besiege him over the years. He defeated them all through his cunning, sharp tongue, resilience and power. They placed a spy into his harem several years ago however (its an ethical-non-ethical harem, his dad got it for him so he would become "manlier". So now he just has a harem full of hairless anime people, which is kinda counter-productive since his tastes lay in sweaty and pathetic men of the unwilling, unbending aether) and since he doesn't really pay much attention to it (too busy consulting his crystal spiderweb for raunchy yaoi) the assassin remained as is for several years up until recently, when his success grew so great that his enemies grew desperate and deployed all resources. Due to the assassins long years there, the guards weren't paying much attention, and my dear technomancer was magnamious enough to allow for an audience. It rather devolved from there, but long story short, the cur was defeated, his master rooted out and the technomaster-mancer continues on, thriving and bringing great glory to the kingdom.

His wound hast been poisoned by cursed bandages which activated his bloodline curse. Luckily there was a healing salve nearby. #ThankYouHealingSalve #TheKingdomRemainsSafe

My friend got a wound cauterized on his neck. He has a tumblr but he's not much of a casual poster, so I am doing woundposting on his behalf (with permission). #HisWound

You might be wondering why there was an attempt on his life. You see, he is a technomancer, who also hath a curse upon his bloodline. His enemies are fearful of his power and cunning, and so sent several assassins to besiege him over the years. He defeated them all through his cunning, sharp tongue, resilience and power. They placed a spy into his harem several years ago however (its an ethical-non-ethical harem, his dad got it for him so he would become "manlier". So now he just has a harem full of hairless anime people, which is kinda counter-productive since his tastes lay in sweaty and pathetic men of the unwilling, unbending aether) and since he doesn't really pay much attention to it (too busy consulting his crystal spiderweb for raunchy yaoi) the assassin remained as is for several years up until recently, when his success grew so great that his enemies grew desperate and deployed all resources. Due to the assassins long years there, the guards weren't paying much attention, and my dear technomancer was magnamious enough to allow for an audience. It rather devolved from there, but long story short, the cur was defeated, his master rooted out and the technomaster-mancer continues on, thriving and bringing great glory to the kingdom.