duaba

Emmy from Story: Free Heart by duaba

Short term memory loss. Seriously, I forget things that are said to me 5 minutes ago or will forget I opened a soda and will have 3 open cans by the end of the day with none of them finished. A lot of people don’t know about this, and so they think that I don’t care enough to listen to what their saying (which I do!!! I just can’t remember it) or that I’m lazy because of all the things I don’t end up doing because I forgot I had to do them.

Lack of motivation. Listen, I honestly can’t do anything on my own for the most part. I have to have someone else tell me to do something or have them set goals for me because it’s so damn difficult for me to do it myself. Again, I’m not lazy, I just have trouble doing things on my own

Language processing difficulties. Sometimes, English and words in general don’t work out in my head. Reading or even listening to someone talk can be extremely difficult for me to understand because my brain just won’t work. Why? Can’t tell you 99% of the time! It’s not that I need to focus, it’s that my brain is just buffering.

Needing multiple forms of stimulation at all times. I have a tin of putty that I keep in my book bag and a smaller one I keep in my purse at all times because of this reason. If I want to learn anything at school, I have to be able to look at something, hear something, and have something to do with my hands. Otherwise, it’s probably a big nope for me. What’s frustrating is that since this isn’t talked about enough, I often get called childish or get looked down upon because I have to play with silly putty in a highschool class.

Hyperfixation. Adhd can mean not being able to focus, but it’s also focusing too much on something! This can mean anything from a certain interest someone is in to at that moment, to something like a song that has been stuck in your head for a week. People seem to not understand this and think that we’re boring and have nothing else to talk about or that we’re annoying because we keep bringing the same things up over and over again but that’s not the case. Trust me, I’m annoyed with the hit or miss song too, but at least it’s not playing in your head constantly like it is for me

These are all the ones I can think of right now, but it’s really important we talk about this stuff more. All of these things that come with adhd can be very frustrating for those around us because they don’t understand that we can’t help it. To an outsider, it may just look like a person with adhd is just lazy and doesn’t care, when it’s actually just how our brains are wired. None of us want to be frustrating to others!! In fact, all of this frustrates us too!! But since adhd is just known as “not being able to focus”, people don’t realize what all comes with it and how it can really fuck everyone over.

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away from the city of New York (2 hours by car or 30 minutes by helicopter), there lived a family by the name of Larrabee. The father, Edward Larrabee, had died only a few years ago from lung cancer, a curse for his love of cigars, and had left his financial empire to his two sons. Linus, the eldest, had sat next to his father in the boardrooms long before he even received his MBA from Harvard Business School so it was to no one’s surprise or protest when he took the reins of the company. It was no question to any one that Linus had inherited his father’s brains and astute instincts in business.

David, the youngest, while having gotten his MBA from the equally prestigious Wharton, did not return right away. Rather, he took his time in Philadelphia, and when he did, he had brought home not one but three ladies, who he declared his love for but just could not tell right away who he was the most in love with. Someone who had never talked to  or even seen David would not understand why the ladies stayed with him for as long as they did and would be equally perplexed to learn that it was David that ended things and sent them back home, albeit on a very lavishly stocked private plane and his warmest regards. However, to everyone who encountered the young Larrabee would know that he had inherited his father’s charm and charisma, especially around the opposite sex.

The mother, Elizabeth, while never touched the family business, ruled their land with an iron fist. The 42 acres of property, fondly named Jewel Pond after the glittering, blue pond that sat at the west end, had well-manicured lawns, a flower garden that seemed to only exist in storybooks, an indoor pool, an outdoor pool (both always firmly kept at a precise 79 degrees Fahrenheit, an indoor tennis court, an outdoor tennis court, and a carriage house that once kept the prized horses of the Larrabee’s forefathers but now housed a collector’s dream of foreign cars as well as the Taiwanese chauffeur and his daughter, Sabrina.

The chauffeur, who the family called by his last name, Xiao, was the oldest employee on the Larrabee’s payroll, not just in age but also in tenure. He was the first man Edward had ever personally hired and the only one on the property staff that was appointed by Edward and not Elizabeth. 

Xiao’s English, while heavily accented, was good and he had a love of reading. There were more books in the carriage house than anything else.  His daughter, also shared in her father’s hobby, but while Xiao was more privy to autobiographies of historical figures, Charles Dickens, and poetry, Sabrina loved fairy tales, which she never outgrew.

It was clear, even now, as Xiao read the latest e-mail from his daughter at the dinner table, that her four years in college had not brought her away from the romantic cloud that her head liked to be in.

Baba, I am completely okay with you not coming to my graduation. In fact, I insist that you stay home. I know how much you hate flying and last summer has proven that jet lag is hard on you. (I told you I should’ve come home instead of you coming to me! This time, I’m putting my foot down!)

Besides, it is not your fault that I am graduating the same time as the Larrabee’s annual July 4th party. I guess that’s what I get from studying in England.

You shouldn’t miss the fireworks. You know how much I love watching it. I’d even rather watch it than go to my own graduation. It’s just so pretty with the colors bursting against the night sky…and the band playing “What a Wonderful World” during the finale…I’ve been to Disneyland Paris with a couple of my classmates but even their fireworks display has nothing on the Larrabee’s. Of course, I might be biased but I stand firm on my stance! It’s all just so magical.

Don’t miss it! At least one of us should be enjoying it!

Anyways, I’ll be home soon after graduation so there really is no need for you to come. I’ll see you soon!  I can’t wait to be back at Jewel Pond. Tell everyone I said hi and that I have gifts for everyone! (Two years worth! To make up for lost time!)

Love, Sabrina

“That’s it?”

Xiao looked over the tablet screen and the bridge of his glasses at Clarissa, the housekeeper. She was a stern Welsh woman who was married to the head gardener, Henry. They sat next to each other at the table while Xiao sat at the head. The French cook, Armand, sat opposite Henry, and to Armand’s side was Joan, the maid from Texas, the only born and raised American of the bunch and the youngest of them too. The five of them were the only ones who lived on site and were at the Larrabee’s beck and call.

“What else is she supposed to say?” Xiao asked.

Clarissa crossed her arms over her chest. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”

Xiao sighed and set his tablet down on the table. “I didn’t know how.”

“It’s easy. David is engaged. Three simple words,” Henry said.

“But it isn’t that simple,” Armand said, coming to Xiao’s defense, “We all know how much Sabrina loves him. She’s going to be devastated when she finds out.”

“Which is why you need to tell her soon before she gets here,” Henry countered, “At least let her find out while she’s far away from everyone. From him.”

“I hate to break it to all of you,” Joan said as she took out her phone, “But Sabrina already knows.”

The audience leaned in and peered at the screen where there were 9 photos displayed on a grid.

“What am I looking at? I don’t have my reading glasses,” Clarissa said as she squinted her eyes.

“Instagram,” Joan said with a roll of her eyes as she tapped on the screen and enlarged the latest picture. It was the silhouette of a man on one knee and a woman with her hand out and a beautiful sunset by the beach as their backdrop, “David posted this with the caption, ‘The most important ‘Yes’ I’ve ever received from the most amazing woman in the world.’”

“Merde,” Armand cursed.

“Maybe Sabrina hasn’t seen it. I mean, I didn’t see David post it on Facebook,” Clarissa said with a hopeful tone, “How popular is this ‘Instagram’ anyways?”

“Trust me,” Joan said as she brought back her phone to her lap but not before giving a pointed look at the line “liked by @SXiaoNY” displayed under the picture, “She’s seen it.”

“Instagram is very popular with that generation,,” Armand said with disgust, “Do you know how many times I get requested to prepare ‘Instagram-worthy’ food by Monsieur David’s ‘special’ guests? Mme Rebecca is the only one he’s brought home who hasn’t done it, which would make me want to propose to her too.”

“Xiao? What are you doing?” Henry asked abruptly when he noticed that the chauffeur was tapping two fingers across the tablet’s keyboard.

“I’m writing to Sabrina,” Xiao said without taking his eyes off of the screen, “I want to tell her that I know she knows so I’m coming to the graduation. I don’t want her to be sad.”

Joan stood up from her seat, toppling her chair over in the process, and she reached across the table. “Stop it,” she said as she slammed her hand down on top of the screen so Xiao couldn’t see his own words, “If Sabrina doesn’t want to talk about it, she doesn’t have to.”

“But-” Xiao protested as he pulled the tablet away from Joan, who quickly reached out to make a grab for it.

“Respect her wishes, she’s a grown wom-”

Whoosh!

Joan’s eyes widened at the sound from the tablet and her hand froze in place, with her thumb where the sent button was. “Oh my god! Did I send it? What did you write?!”

“I don’t know,” Xiao said, “How…how do I check?”

“Oh, give it here,” Joan sighed. With the email already sent, Xiao relinquished control without protest and Joan went straight to the Sent folder. When she opened up the most recent sent email, she let out a big sigh of relief, “Oh good.”

“What? What did I write?” Xiao asked.

“Okay,” Joan said as she handed the tablet back to the chauffeur, “That’s all you wrote. Just ‘Okay’. Whew. It’s a good thing you don’t know how to type fast.”

“You really don’t think I should talk to her?” Xiao asked.

“Joan is right,” Clarissa said, “Sabrina is an adult now. Let her make her own choices. I’m sure she’s handling it well.”

“‘Okay’,” Sabrina read with her voice smothered slightly by the tissue held up against her nose. Her hands fell to the side, tissue and phone falling with it, and she collapsed back onto her bed. “Okay. My dad’s not coming,” she wailed against her pale blue comforter.

“Thank god,” her dorm mate, Julie, said from her own bed. She sat cross legged on top of her pristinely made bed with her flute in hand and sheet music fanned out in front of her. Her thin lips were made even thinner as she pursed them together at her devastated friend, “I doubt he‘d want to see you like this. No one should be seeing you like this. You look ghastly.”

“But…but you don’t understand,” Sabrina sobbed. Her thick black hair was coming out of the clumsily tied braid it was in and the frizz caused by the London weather only emphasized just how disheveled she was. She hadn’t left her room let alone get out of her floral print pajamas in over two days. Her violin was left forgotten at the foot of her bed and untouched for just as long, “David…David…he’s…He’s…”

“Yes, I get it,”  Julie said, “David, the most perfect, wonderful, funny, nicest man on the planet-”

“And beautiful,” Sabrina hiccuped.

“Yes but more importantly, he’s ENGAGED! Off the market. Done,” Julie sighed, “And to another beautiful person, I might add. I mean, did you see her pictures? No wonder she has over five hundred thousand followers and she’s not even a model! She got it from just being her! Well that and the fact that she seems to be friends with celebrities and actual models.”

“Not helping,” Sabrina sobbed.

“Face the facts and get a grip!” Julie scolded, “Our final recital is coming up and you haven’t practiced in FOUR  days. FOUR! You should be practicing every second of every moment. What if you fail? Then you can’t graduate, lose your scholarship, and what will you say to your father then?!”

The door to the shared room opened and a girl with black curly hair, thick glasses, and a guitar strapped to her back leaned against the frame. “Pathetic,” she clucked.

“I know, right?” Julie sighed.

“Hi Carol,” Sabrina whimpered against her comforter.

“Listen, Bri,” Carol said as she walked over and sat on Sabrina’s bed, right by her head, “You gotta pull yourself together. At least until after the recital. Then, once you get your diploma, you can go jump into the River Thames or do whatever it is to make yourself feel better.”

“Carol!” Julie gasped. She understood that Sabrina needed some tough love but even Carol’s blunt approach was a bit much.

“She knows I didn’t mean it that way,” Carol said with a flippant wave of her hand, “All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t let someone mess with your career. Do you remember last month when I dated Bobby?”

Julie frowned, “Wasn’t he named John?”

“I already dated a John so I called him Bobby to keep track,” Carol said with a shrug, “Anyways, when I dumped him, he dropped out of the band and said he was going to give up drumming entirely. How stupid is that? You want to be stupid like him?”

“Not the best example but still a fair point,” Julie begrudgingly admitted.

“Now this David bloke,” Carol said, “He can’t be as wonderful as you say he is or else he would’ve snagged you a long time ago and not go out with anyone else. If he didn’t see how amazing you are, then he’s got terrible taste.”

“I’m not that great,” Sabrina said, finally turning her reddened face away from the comforter to look at her friends, “I mean, even you made fun of me the first time we met.”

“Yeah but I make fun of everyone,” Carol said, “And you set yourself up for failure when you came to orientation with a princess backpack.”

“It was a limited edition Beauty and the Beast print from a Disney collaboration with Kate Spade,” Sabrina protested, “Do you know how many hours of violin tutoring I had to do back home to pay for that?”

“A month’s worth of lessons for the terrible Evangeline Duckworth. You’ve told us before,” Julie sighed with a roll of her eyes.

“That little brat kicked me whenever her mother wasn’t looking,” Sabrina said, “I swear there’s a dent in my shin bone from that.”

“See how much you’ve suffered just to buy a stupid backpack?” Carol asked.

“It’s not a stupid back-,” Sabrina started to protest but Carol wasn’t finished.

“With a diploma from the Royal Academy of Music, you can play in any orchestra you’d want in the world! Imagine how many backpacks you can buy with that,” she said, “You’re going to let David stand in the way of that?”

“He would never stand in the way,” Sabrina sniffed, “He would never stand in the way of someone’s dreams.”

Carol’s lower jaw jutted out and she looked over to Julie for help.

“That’s…right…” Julie said slowly, “And…since he would never do that…Wouldn’t he want you to do well on the recital? Wouldn’t he not want you to give up?”  

Carol looked at the flautist and she raised an eyebrow but Julie gave her a look that made her hold her tongue.

“Yeah,” Sabrina sniffed as she slowly pulled herself up to a sitting position, “You’re right.”

Carol’s jaw dropped while Julie gave a triumphant smile.

“Just focus on the recital and then graduating.”

“Then what?” Sabrina asked.

Carol threw her arm around Sabrina’s shoulder and gave it a good squeeze. “And then you’re off back to America and will no longer be me and Julie’s problem.”

“What Carol is trying to say is,” Julie said with a glare at the guitarist, “To take it one day at a time. We’ll figure it out when we get there.”

“Okay,” Sabrina said and leaned her head against Carol’s shoulder, “Thanks.”

paying homage to my fave challenge

thank u for you request it was really fun to draw! three hose style bonus: he got fired after that