i don't know why I'm here

And on the topic of a friend’s ugly boyfriend, I want to say that a lot of what I think makes these people hideous isn’t inborn characteristics they cannot change. Ugly has a more nebulous definition in the south. A friend’s ugly boyfriend shows up to meet his girlfriend’s friends for the first time with a terrible haircut and unwashed hair, wearing an unwashed Marvel shirt and cargo shorts not because he had no access to a shower or a laundromat but because he felt no need to put any effort into his appearance and try to make a good impression on her friends because he truly does not care. People who care about a new partner try to impress them, they try to groom and style themselves to be more attractive, they do the bare minimum and take a shower before going to a convention. Cishet men in straight relationships tend to be more likely to severely drop the ball on grooming and styling habits when it would be common decency to make an attempt to look good. It is sad when a woman spends hours getting ready and doing her hair and makeup for a date and picks an outfit she thinks is cute because she wants to look good and she wants him to like her and the guy is a total slob who wasn’t trying to be appealing and wasn’t willing to inconvenience himself enough to put on a clean shirt. Jesus fucking Christ, take a shower, put on a little cologne, style your hair and wear a nice shirt or something. Your dad was doing it in the 80s. There are YouTube tutorials if you don’t know what to do.

Not only was she fucked into oblivion, but morrowind and skyrim too

Joy and whimsy detected! 🦈 <- this grout white shark is joyful and whimsical!

At this point I've seen like three unconnected pieces of American media set in a superficially idyllic small town with a big fuckoff lake that functions as a liminal boundary between the Known and the Unknown and in which a major character attempts suicide by drowning, and now I'm wondering if the Liminal Death Lake is just a thing American small towns have.

Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

monsterqueerplatonic

Aces are welcomed and are valued members in the monsterfucker community.

This is asexual joy!

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

I love it when a classicist has clearly gotten so lost in the BCE sauce that their perception of time has become deeply warped. Case in point: the article I’m currently reading just described the Byzantine era as “a period relatively modern.”

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

this post just cant be on its own. it needs the accompanying pic “when you’re level 80” that is exactly the same image, but the stick has glowing runes on it and the crabs are purple

This gets better every time i see it.

has anyone got the version “when you’re level 1 but bought the cosmetic package” and he’s wearing a santa hat and hitting the crabs with a candy cane

if i were a respected british actor with any principles at all i would simply not agree to a project whose earnings will have material consequences for trans people but maybe i'm built differently

the absolute thrill of deleting your instagram posts the moment they start to reach The Public.

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.