Currently obsessed with The Untamed, Wang Yibo's dancing & BTS. Current OTP: Wangxian. Forever OTP: Leverage OT3, ColdFlash, Iris West x Lisa Snart. Feminst & Queer. 1st Gen Chinese American.
alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.
we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)
please rb for larger sample size!
Question 1/3
What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them
he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"
reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"
and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-
"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"
"what are you talking about?"
shane: "i'm allergic"
"??? since WHEN??"
"since always??"
"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"
yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*
the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"
shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.
he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"
and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??
A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.
B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.
C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-
@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD
@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!
shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-
oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.
and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.
also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.
GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-
and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."
shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.
but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.
this does, unfortunately, mean that he just develops a habit of just never saying ANYTHING when not directly asked lmao.
i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail
for everyone else though??? cackling about people who have known him for literally fifteen years finding out about potentially deadly allergies ONLY because ilya is fucking interrogating the waiter at the restaurant. shane of Before just would have probably declined going and used his diet as an excuse because he didn't want to have it be A Whole Thing. now he has a husband to "he said no pickles" his allergies on his behalf, so he's straight chilling. 🤣
AW but hollander ending up being used in team barbeque settings as shorthand for what's allergy safe or not "are those hollander brownies?" "no, the hollander brownies are inside. there's hollander cheesecake, too, can you grab it out of the fridge for me?"
and at first shane protests against this treatment but finally just *sigh* pass the hollander potatoes, please
GOD shane who just views food as something to check off a list, so yeah he just follows the recipe. it's the recipe that makes Safe Food. there's no thought involved in it. the recipe binder was a moving-out present from david full of recipes that would be safe for him, so shane just follows it exactly as written. food is a mentally exhausting thing for him, so he just obeys the Safe For Me Food Instructions because why wouldn't he?
and OOOF the mental strain of "is this tightness in my chest a food reaction or anxiety?? am i developing a new allergy? i literally do not have the mental bandwidth to process that idea rn so back to Ultimate Safe Food diet it is."
For Part 1, see my post about Shane's boy band phase here
Shane nervously traces the rim of his water glass with his middle finger. Around him, the restaurant buzzes with activity, the clack of cleaned plates stacked by busy servers, the murmur of idle patrons awaiting their entrees, the tinkling of piano keys pressed by expert musical fingers.
Suddenly a beautiful- no, beautiful isn't the word, sirenic, divine, enchanting- woman slides into the booth across from him. "Shane Hollander," she purrs.
Shane startles and extends his hand out to shake hers. She laughs and bats it away, leaning over the table to press a chaste kiss to his cheek.
"Hi Svetlana," he says sheepishly.
"Where is Ilya?" She glances at the table, no doubt noticing the absence of a tumbler of vodka.
"Call with his lawyer. Visa issues. Everything's fine, but he said not to wait up. He'll join later."
Svetlana smiles conspiriatorily and reaches into her purse. "Well. I was looking forward to busting his balls directly, but maybe its more fun this way. A little private joke between us," she says, winking.
Shane wants very much for Svetlana to like him. He knows after the Ottawa trade was announced, she'd let loose a string of Russian expletives over the phone with Ilya. Ilya had begged them both to play nice, and so far they've managed to keep their interactions mostly cordial, if frosty.
"What is it?"
She slides something across the table to him face down. "A little souvenir I found last time I was in Moscow."
Shane picks up a photograph. It is glossy, showing an orange date and time burned on the image in the way of early 2000's digital cameras. The boy in the photo is a gangly adolescent, face dotted with a few pimples, but there is no mistaking the glittering hazel eyes and plush cupid bow of his lips. But instead of Ilya's soft curls, the boy has shoulder-length dirty blond hair, almost singed looking, as though straightened by too hot a styling tool. Long, side swept bangs cover half his entire face, with a few strands of hot pink highlights. His eyes are outlined in dark charcoal, giving off "fuck you" vibes. He is dressed in tight dark jeans, a grungy grey tee with Cyrillic lettering, and a studded leather belt, hands shoved apathetically into his pockets.
Shane gasps into his palm. "Ohmygod."
"I know, right?"
"He looks so..."
"Ridiculous?" Svetlana is cackling.
Shane smiles fondly at the photo and traces teenage Ilya with his finger. "I was gonna say precious."
"Ugh, not you, too Shane. Always with the-" she wiggles her hand, "-disgusting in love."
"He just looks so young," Shane murmurs. "He's a baby."
"Who is baby?" Ilya's warm, gravely voice asks as he slides into the booth next to Svetlana and kisses her cheek. He locks eyes with Shane and knocks his knee against his under the table.
"I was just showing Shane your My Chemical Romance era."
Ilya's eyes snap down to the photo and a look of abject horror crosses his face. "What the fuck?? Svetlana!"
"Relax, he thinks its cute." Svetlana rolls her eyes.
"Is not CUTE! Shane. It was subversive, to be emo in Russia. They tried to outlaw it. I was radical," Ilya sputters.
Shane quirks an eyebrow. "I don't think listening to Dashboard Confessional makes you a radical. "
Ilya flips him the bird.
Shane scoffs but taps his shoe against Ilya's under the table.
They eventually stop teasing Ilya and enjoy a nice lunch together. Before they part, Shane hugs Svetlana hesitantly. She whispers in his ear, "I will bring more pictures next time."
Later, back at the hotel, Ilya is washing up in the bathroom. Shane connects Ilya's phone to his portable bluetooth speaker. He swipes through Ilya's Spotify and selects a song. The punchy guitar riffs of The Middle by Jimmy Eat World come through the speakers.
The bathroom door slams open and Ilya stalks out, glaring. "Oh, you think you are being funny?"
Shane cannot stop his giggle as Ilya tackles him to the hotel bed.
Yuna invites Ilya over for lunch. He is tempted to decline, believing it to be motivated by pity, but Shane is in Montreal and the loneliness of rambling around his too-big Ottowa house starts to feel like living in a mausoleum, so he accepts. It is this afternoon that he learns Shane's darkest secret. Darkest in name only, because it turns out to be quite the opposite in appearance.
After lunch they are seated in the den, fondly flipping through old photograph albums, when Ilya spies one that makes him lean over and squint. In the way of disposable camera film from the early aughts, it is grainy and overexposed, but there are no mistaking the warm brown eyes and pouty lips of Shane Hollander, looking blank faced at the camera. What comes as a surprise are the bleached blond ends of his dark hair, styled into crunchy looking spikes with obscene amounts of product.
Ilya emits a noise that can only be described as a squawk. Hand clapped to his mouth, because he barely trusts himself to speak, he chokes out, "What is...this?"
Yuna glances over nonchalantly. "Oh, that. Shane begged me to let him get frosted tips when he was 12."
Ilya will die. He will die right here, gagging on suppressed laughter, and Yuna will be forced to clean the mess of his remains off the berber carpet.
"I think he was trying to emulate some boy band he was obsessed with then. NSYNC maybe? I thought it was a bad idea, but David convinced me to let him try it out. Shane was going through a moody period, and he thought it might help."
"And-" Ilya squeaks in way too high a pitch, then clears his throat. "Ahem. And did it?"
Yuna thinks. "Hard to say. God, he was a bit of a bitchy preteen." She chuckles. "He had a poster of Lance Bass taped to his closet door. In hindsight, I should have guessed the gay thing much earlier."
Ilya can no longer contain his laughter. He doubles over with it, waving his hand and wheezing, "Sorry, sorry." He wipes tears from his eyes. "I can have this picture?"
Yuna shrugs. "Sure. The poster is probably still upstairs in his closet, if you want that, too. I've been meaning to clear it out-"
Ilya just stares at Yuna in wide eyed wonder. "Yes. I want." He dashes up the stairs so fast he nearly trips.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play
I would love the Yuna The Truck lore if you are willing to provide it, obsessed with the snapshot glimpses we get of this woman 👀
I am in love with Yuna “The Truck” Hollander.
Yuna’s lore as “The Truck” was in part made to directly contrast Shane’s “Mr. Canada” image. Yuna appears to be the primary driving force behind Shane’s squeaky clean image. He has a lot of kids looking up to him, so behave and wear your Reeboks. You do not get to be like everyone else. You have to be better and do better because no one will give you the benefit of the doubt.
And I thought that would be so much more interesting if Yuna was coming from a place of experience. She knows that Shane cannot get away with half of what his white coworkers could because she sure as hell didn’t.
Yuna Hollander had a historical goddamn talent in a sport that had no space for her.
Canon suggests she has a Hockey IQ that is just as high as Shane’s, if not higher. She’s watching games and able to identify players’ injuries from her couch in fucking Ottawa and Shane and David are like “yes mom with her hockey witchiness.” Shane your hockey instincts have made international news and your mother’s the one with arcane hockey powers?
Yuna Hollander had the kind of talent for hockey that belonged in the goddamn history books. Shane got his historical talent from her. David was good, great even, but he wasn’t generational. Yuna was.
No one cared.
There was no place for her in this sport.
The PWHL has existed for three years. The CWHL didn’t exist until 2007 and it was disbanded in 2019. It’s maximum salary for individual players?
$10,000. The minimum was $2,000. You could not play women’s hockey professionally until three years ago,. The only “professional league” before then could only pay its players pittances. Everyone had to have another job, and meanwhile male hockey players have gotten to dedicate their full lives to the sport for over a hundred years.
Yuna Hollander grows up before even the CWHL. She is a historical goddamn talent in a sport that has no professional league for her. The farthest she could hope to go was college hockey.
She hoped farther. She had the same hunger for hockey that Shane did. If there wasn’t a league then she would fucking build it herself. She was better than everyone and wanted it more than everyone and if there wasn’t a place for her in this world she would carve it out, and that’s a love story, I think. She loved hockey enough to make the world into a place where she could still play it.
She went to a school that had a women’s ice hockey program and her degree path was meant to give her the skills she needed to build a fucking league of her own. She would learn the business and brand savvy she needed to make a carve out her own fucking place in the universe.
So there Yuna Hollander was. Not yet a Hollander. Ready to tear it up on the ice.
She is a slight-figured Asian woman who is the child of immigrants trying to make it in a very violent and physical sport.
The uwufication of Asian people is honestly fucking weird. Men are regularly feminized. Women are babified. It just. It gets weird.
Yuna wasn’t taken seriously. She is supposed to be waifu. Are you lost little girl. Should you maybe pick a different, safer sport??
Yuna decided to give them something they had to take seriously. The Truck will run you the fuck down.
She played hard. She played with unbelievable goddamn skill. She was fast and harsh and so agonizingly talented. And no one ever got away with shit when they were playing The Truck. You fucked with her and you walked away feeling like you were in a fucking car accident.
She got a lot of penalties. More than anyone, even. She was never afraid to fight.
Not all of her penalty minutes were earned.
Time to talk again about one of my favorite books on hockey, Game Misconduct, about all the ways this sport is fucked up.
One of the phenomenons the book discusses is the fact that minorities get treated as irrational and violent for things white players often get away with. One anecdote attested to an all white team playing very roughly with a team compromised of mostly pocs. The pocs got fed up and started giving it back to them. And the person being interviewed about it said that all of the parents of the white players who kept hand-waving away their children’s behavior suddenly became staunch advocates for pacifism. Look At How Violent Your Little Beasts Are. Many poc players in the book describe being treated as dangerous and unhinged for the same behavior their white counterparts regularly get away with on the ice.
Not all of Yuna’s penalty minutes were earned. She was treated like a violent and unhinged player and had the reputation of it. But she wasn’t. She was, above all, skilled. She just didn’t take shit the way people expected her to, and so she was punished for it.
And the people who penalized her often got away with it. She was The Truck. If she could dish it, she needed to take it. She got a lot of penalties called against her, but not so many in her favor.
Anyway David Hollander saw The Truck mowing bitches down left and right one day and he said to himself.
Wow.
What a woman.
I’m gonna marry her one day, if that’s alright with her.
And everyone who knew him said, No Dave.
That’s too much woman for you.
But David Hollander is not a fucking coward.
David was a goalie for the men’s team at McGill. Yuna was a defensewoman for the stingers, which is a real women’s ice hockey team. I did not change the name the way I usually do. Because the stingers are the women’s ice hockey team for Concordia University.
McGill and Concordia are rival schools.
Their romance defied a rivalry.
Honestly their love story shocked everyone around them except for themselves. Dave and Yuna always made perfect sense to Dave and Yuna.
David Hollander had no interest in taming The Truck. He had no interest in imposing his own expectations on The Truck. He liked her exactly how she was, thanks. Would she maybe like to take a walk in the moonlight with him and also spend the rest of their lives together?
Yuna liked Dave for a lot of reasons, but she really liked how he never got caught up in preconceived expectations. He didn’t read her as violent and irrational. He didn’t read her as an uwu princess. He was the kind of guy who would give her the penalties she earned, which is all she’s ever wanted. She wanted fairness. David was always fair. She liked that about him. She liked a lot of things about him, but especially that.
Yuna’s ending is fundamentally tragic. She is taken down with an unbelievably dirty hit that destroys her knee. The injury is career ending. She will never play professionally. It does not matter if she builds her own space, because she no longer has a place in it.
The person who does it to her gets away with it.
The ref that was on that day fucking hated her. He had a history of calling penalties on her that she didn’t commit and letting people get away with penalties against her. He didn’t like that she was Asian. He didn’t like that she refused to take shit. He didn’t like that she was the best player he had ever goddamn seen.
The person who did this to her gets a double minor.
Four fucking minutes in the penalty box for destroying her entire goddamn world. It nearly fucking kills her.
But it doesn’t. She lives. Dave helps her do that. She doesn’t start the league. She is too angry. All she can think about is the girl who did this to her who still gets to play, and all of her fellow players who waffled about it after.
She’s The Truck, after all. She knows that sometimes you get run over. Can she really be upset?
But Yuna didn’t give out hits like this. She was fair. She was brutal but she was fair. She would have never fucking done this to someone else and how fucking dare everyone pretend she would have.
She is so unbearably angry.
She is angry every single day of her life.
She marries Dave. She finds new things to love. They are not nearly as good as hockey. It takes her years to even watch a game again and she still is able to understand the molecules of the sport better than any player on the ice.
She is still angry.
She and Dave play hockey at the lake, just the two of them. It feels like an astronaut coming back to earth. It feels like she never quite reaches the ground. She cannot skate the way she used to. She will never be who she once was. She can play again. But at the same time it is gone forever and she cannot get it back.
She is so goddamn empty sometimes.
She can’t have a baby. She has one anyway. She won’t have another, the doctors promise. She’s got one shot at this motherhood thing. Don’t fuck this one up. There are no redos.
Try not to make him hate you.
Little Shane Hollander sits in her lap as she watches hockey. He can barely hold up his own head, but his eyes still track the puck.
Yuna knows he has the same special something in him that she had in her before she ever puts skates on his feet. She knows hockey will be to him what it was to her.
There’s just something in him that needs it like lungs need air.
Yuna puts so much pressure on Shane because she is trying to save him from the biggest agony of her life. She knows what it means to be a minority in a space with no room for you. She knows what it means to have to fight everyone’s expectations. She builds his image like a goddamn suit of armor because she is trying to make him a protection they cannot destroy. No one is ending Shane Hollander’s career too soon, but if they do? They will fucking pay for it. No one will say he had it coming. She will not give them the fucking room for it.
So he needs to be Mr. Canada. He needs to be the Goodest boy to ever roam the ice. He needs everyone to love him and respect him and know he is beyond reproach. People that look like them do not have the luxury of otherwise.
Trust her, because Yuna knows.
Yuna’s hyper-management of Shane and his image is fundamentally damaging to their relationship but at the same time, it is meant to be a love letter.
I will not let them do to you what they did to me. I will not let them do to you what they did to me. I will not let them do to you what they did to me.
And Shane knows that. He sees so much of himself in his mother that it kills him. He sees the ache and the absence and the emptiness left since she lost hockey. He knows why she’s so hard on him because he knows she’s trying to protect him from her own existential loss.
It’s why he’s so afraid to come out to her.
It’s why he apologizes to her. It’s why he tells her he tried.
He tried so fucking hard to be something that got to still play hockey. He tried so fucking hard to be anything other than this. Because this is not something that has ever safely existed in the nhl. This does not get to keep playing.
More than 100 goddamn years, and not a single gay player until Scott Hunter.
He feels like he betrayed everything she tried to give him. She poured so much into protecting him and he had to go and be the one thing she could never protect. No one ever could. He cannot imagine a world where this comes out and he still gets to play.
But Yuna Hollander is the kind of woman who will rebuild the world to make space for herself. And she is still writing her love letter.
She will not let them do to her sons what they did to her. If this league doesn’t have space for two queer hockey players in love, then she will turn it into fucking scrap and build a new one.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Lately Ilya has spent ninety percent of his time thinking about Shane Hollander. This is a low estimate. And something he would never acknowledge to himself, or even consciously realise or conceptualise of.
Shane on his knees. Shane on his hands and knees. Shane and him fucking in front a fireplace with Shane riding him slowly while they’re sat up chest to chest, real romantic shit. Shane’s mouth open and plush. Shane begging for it. Shane crying for it. Shane saying his name. Shane saying goodbye. Shane saying hi. Shane’s eyes and his neck and his baby rabbit soft ears and his strong forearms. The bend of his elbow. Taking Shane to some stupid resort in the Bahamas or something where they would just lie in a private cabin in the middle of the ocean and hold hands and sunbathe and have cocktails appear in their hands. Where Shane would let him have him on every surface. He thought about Shane’s eyes and his eyebrows and the space between his eyebrows that would crinkle when Ilya said something to rouse him on purpose. The way Shane said what. The way he said what do you mean. All earnest like all honest and vulnerable. The way Shane could look at him in a way that made Ilya feel like he was being pierced through the skin. He wanted to lie awake and watch Shane sleep and whisper just loudly enough that it was heard by the world. I would die for you I would die for you I would I would. Shane holding a baby. Shane’s trim waist roped with muscle, Ilya’s big hand wrapped around it. Mine, mine, mine. Shane’s shoulders and back, rippling through water. Shane drinking a glass of water. Shane drinking a glass of beer. Shane wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Shane’s pinched brow. Making out with Shane open mouthed. Fucking Shane up against a wall. In fact, every surface became a place he could fuck Shane. Every song became about Shane. Every conversation thread had by other people something he could spin into Shane.
It got so bad he simply had to talk to someone about it. Luckily Marley had just met some new chick of the month as well and it was easy to transpose Shane onto some nebulous type girl. They weren’t super sharey in general so he kind of got away with being unspecific, never saying a name. Just any excuse to talk about him. They traded lovesick comments between them like tween girls and sexual fantasies like perverse men. He never said the truly damning shit out loud though. It was just a pressure release. A way to keep from exploding, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person.
Ilya imagined taking Shane into his arms rough and ready in the doorway and saying I missed you. Did you miss me? And Shane admitting I missed you and Ilya would get to smirk into Shane’s smiling mouth and Shane would be overcome with it and kiss him like he was air. Shane in shorts. Shane in briefs. Shane in a jock. Shane completely naked in his bed. Waking up to find Shane naked in his bed. Returning from a shower to find Shane naked in his bed. Returning from practice to find Shane naked in his bed. All dark hair and sweet eyes, sheets tangled around his limbs and hands grabbing at nothing, grabbing for Ilya. Shane and him touching chest to chest with nothing in between. Shane holding him under the covers. Shane complaining that the carrots are overcooked. Or the glass isn’t clean enough. Or the fabrics not organic.
Everytime he stopped at a red light while driving he imagined Shane sliding into the passenger seat, smiling and saying “Hi” shyly before throwing himself over Ilya, Shane’s lips all over his face and neck, hands running like water, and Ilya would chuckle and say “Okay easy. Easy now” which was ridiculous because it was Ilya’s fantasy and so he was the one making Shane act like this. And he would say “I missed you, did you miss me?” and Shane would murmur “Well, obviously” and Ilya would feel like a fucking lottery winner for affecting the man who can’t be moved, for making him admit to his being moved. Shane wearing his hat backwards. Shane blushing from the bridge of his nose to his belly button. Shane folded in half gasping and moaning into Ilya’s mouth. Shane across from him at a cafe or a restaurant or in the seat next to him at a bar. He would know exactly what to order for Shane, for Shane to roll his eyes and then say thank you and Ilya would say show me how thankful you are and Shane would roll his eyes and kiss him even though there were people around.
All things absurd and mundane. But if you asked him, even to himself, he would’ve responded he spent minimal amounts of time thinking about Hollander.
The only thing better than thinking about Shane was having him. Real and in the flesh it was like a dream. No, not like a dream. Like everything made sense. Like waking up. Again, this was yet far from a conscious observation.
Fascinated by the concept that Shane just. Only lives for this tiny fraction of his actual life. What Shane wants, what he shapes every facet of his life and self around for twenty odd years, is to be in the rink, with the stadium bellowing and the scoreboard in his favour.
all he wants is to fucking play hockey, but it’s so LITTLE of his actual life.
it’s all transport and training and exercise and dieting and emails and modelling and coaching and sleeping and cars and planes and locker rooms and hotels and clubs and bars and there’s so little HOCKEY
is it all a fugue state for him? Just a thousand miserable unskippable cut scenes he has to move through until he can be on the ice again?
and what must it be like for him to meet Ilya, for their relationship to gradually develop and intensify until suddenly he’s experiencing the only other thing he would die for.
it must be so identity shattering to find something ELSE you care about that much, and a crisis of faith that would force you to reevaluate everything.
I think that’s an underrated factor behind the tunameltdown, Shane realising that this foundational cornerstone of his identity, that he cares about hockey so much that it degrades everything else in life to him, now has competition.
because he cares about Ilya so much that he is risking hockey.
he wants Ilya in his life properly, not just as another tiny flashpoint between dull, drawn-out moments.
but for Ilya to be in his life like that, he would be putting hockey at risk. It’s something he practically has a mental block around, is literally INCAPABLE of considering.
he’s let it decide every single part of his life: his miserable diet, the horrible modelling shoots and brand deals, missing his parents, repressing his attraction, distancing himself from his friends and team…
all for the benefit of hockey, and all with no hesitation or internal conflict
and now he wants Ilya so bad that it will threaten hockey.
hockey, which he let threaten his family and friends and body and health…
because he wants Ilya more then any of those things.
I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.
The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.
I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.
That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."
And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."
And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."
And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.
And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.
Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.
"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.
Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.
May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.
This post is super cute and all but like.... This isn't practical advice. I called the AG???? And they got involved over a $200 bill. Maybe because you yourself are a medical practitioner. Not just your knowledge but also your status.
Civics class wouldn't help most people in this case because the AG will not take on all these cases and most people cannot afford an attorney in this instance or more importantly, the hit to their credit.
The issue is not education over the system, it is the system
I agree the system is a mess but I think education does matter because people seem not to know that this is actually perfectly routine AG office stuff. I’m not the only person who’s done this- this is just what they do?
Were they going to get into a lawsuit over my $400 bill? No obviously not. But they printed up a letter on fancy letterhead to say to stop and it worked. They followed up with me the next day to be sure, and so ask how much money they had saved me.
They use dinky cases like mine to track habitual misbehavior of large scale companies to build cases they could actually go to court over.
And because people are shocked- I never spoke to the AG of my state directly. He operates mainly by overseeing a whole crew of people. And this is what those people do.
This didn’t happen because I’m special because of my tiny therapy practice.
This happened because this is what the AG office is for.
“The problem is systemic” doesn’t mean “and there’s nothing you can do”.
This is a systemic problem but that doesn’t mean there are no resources to help.
Thank you for clapping back on this. I'm here to reinforce. Yes, you CAN call your state Attorney General office when an entity is doing something illegal, even if it's "only" for $400. You think they don't care a hospital is doing a crime because it's not a big enough crime?
Then you've been trained well by "The System".
Yes, that System you say can't be fought? Where did you get that idea, huh? Who taught you that "small" acts of illegality don't matter? Who made you think that there's no point in fighting back because it will all come to nothing?
Might it be the same entities that benefit if you believe all that?
Gonna pause and let you ponder.
Never. Ever. EVER.
EVER.
Let companies or corporations or hospitals or organizations or any business big or small get away with screwing you over without a fight. Maybe you personally don't win every fight, but you lose 100% of the time you don't try. You'll win more often than you think you will. I know cuz I've done it.
So have others. Attorneys General offices bring lawsuits against businesses all the time. They do so because citizens contacted them to say "someone is doing a crime" and the crime doers did not stop when told and got into way more trouble than if they'd just stopped. FAFO. The Find Out can't happen if you don't even bother to report the Fucking Around.
On that note, as OP said, please know your rights! And, in a situation where you don't but suspect something is hinky, ask! The people of the internet can help! So can librarians! So can many others. Find out what is and is not okay for them to do. If it's not okay, report them! See something, say something.
Additionally, pay attention to State Attorney elections! Here in Minnesota, our AG Keith Ellison has made it a POINT to go after slumlords, has created an entire UNIT in the AG office dedicated to wage theft, and gone after debt relief for people who were conned by those scummy fake universities. And despite MN being a blue state, one of his elections was a fucking NAIL-BITER.
Absolutely fight the system, absolutely go to your AG office if you’re being screwed over, and also pay attention to the people running for AG in the first place.
Government of the people, by the people, and for the people only works if the people make it work. That's you! You're the people.
"Don't bother doing anything because nothing will happen" confused cause with effect: it's really "Nothing will happen if you don't bother doing anything." Yeah, I know, it's a travesty that they don't hand you psychic powers when you take your oath as a civil servant, but until we fix that clear defect in our democracy: you're serving the public, too, when you report fuckers like this.
today (and every day) is a beautiful day to read this fic. forced marriage but make it hockey, sex tapes, angst, did i mention sex... you could not ask for more...
In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.
I love this fic, I love this Ilya, I love this Shane. Run don't walk:
There is a tense note in Hollander’s voice. This is not unusual, because Hollander is held together by latent panic
AND
Maybe Hollander feels like this all of the time, like his skin will crawl away without him if he does not hold himself still.
AND
Twenty three years ago his deck was shuffled. He plays for Russia. He is drafted. He takes a video. He drives to Montreal.
He kisses Shane Hollander.