make me feel

please please PLEASE flood jess’ inbox with praise so we get more delicious yearning angsty amazing goodnessss ❤️🥰❤️🥰

the whiplash this season with shane with hudson hair and buzzed ilya I am not going to be able to unsee Our Them from literally any scene where they’re being loving and boyfriendly….the beautiful torture….(I can’t even think about the sex scenes or my brain will explode into a billion pieces)

but yes it's nice to think about maybe the day before connor shaves his head. hudson knows and he's down with it from an artistic point of view but he's going to miss this so much. connor's head on his stomach, eyes closed as hudson drags his hand gently through his soft hair. nail tracing the little whorl on his crown, trying to separate each curl. i'll miss this one most, he says, about one over his ear. do you think he'll write to me from hair heaven? connor laughs but doesn't open his eyes. don't be dramatic. it'll grow. hudson spreads his fingers and scritches from his forehead to the base of his skull, sending little kicks of electricity down connor's spine. connor makes a little purring sound and nuzzles his face in hudson's belly. but as soon as hudson tightens his fist he can feel connor's shoulders stiffen. he loosens them, curious, then does it again. connor turns his whole face into hudson's stomach, breath hot through the fabric of his shirt. nice? hudson asks, laughing softly. connor says something that sounds maybe like fuck you muffled in hudson's shirt, teeth sharp against the fabric. sure you wanna cut it off? hudson asks, pulling hard again, before connor crawls up him and kisses him to shut him up.

god anon like...let's just pause for a second and visualise. imagine you are hudson and you know how that feels. probably spent the best part of a half day with connor plastered all up on him like that. what did he do that night? just go back to his room alone and laid in the dark feeling so alone? fingers tracing all the spots on his body where connor--no, Ilya's--hands were. and of course he's getting hard but he doesn't want to be, spent so much time trying to ignore it and say it's just shane, it's not me, it's just shane, but the thing is he knows it is a bit him. he doesn't really even know what he's thinking when his hand starts moving, ilya's thick accent speaking connor's sweet words, telling him he's so good, so beautiful, takes it so well, makes him feel so incredible. and maybe he does cry a bit when he comes, lost in longing for something he isn't sure he'll ever be brave enough to have.

ayyyyyy anon you really want to put hudson in the torture jar today huh...connor rekindling a friendship with someone from his childhood AND that friendship turns into something more all the while hudson can just sit and watch. see all the cues he thought he gave connor moving things along instead of getting stuck in a just friends quagmire. he touches connor's leg and connor leans into the touch. jokes with him calling him mi amor mi esposo and gets a kiss in return with his beaming smile. when hudson is alone with connor he spends his time smiling stupidly at his phone and hudson is just watching him. unsure how to touch anymore since connor gently pushed his hand off his leg when he tried to get closer when they were watching a movie. turned his cheek when hudson tried to kiss him goodnight so he caught just the corner of his jaw instead. stretches his arms above his head and yawns at 10:30pm like 'well, i'm beat, see you tomorrow?' when before they'd have stayed up talking and digging their feet in each other's thighs until 3am. goes back to his apartment unable to sleep. rocks in his stomach, a lump in his throat. connor's so happy. hudson is so happy for him. it shouldn't need repeating over and over like a prayer. but he does it anyway.

should I tell her