terrible but capable of being charming

I should do a fashion show for y'all on my dummy with the costumes I got back from my family.

the montreal metros would eat apollos cattle despite shanes warning of their doom

[meows loud as fuck from the eternal prison]

can you even imagine how fucking furious you would be if your uncle who married your mother a month after your father’s death proceeded not only to wrestle the throne from your grasp but publicly humiliate you in front of the court that is supposed to be yours about how you’re grieving your father? that it’s unmanly and pathetic to still mourn him after a month? and then tells you he’s only saying this because he loves you? and he thinks you shouldn’t go back to school, just stay here, where you can be together with your family and always be surveilled? the elsinore court really is a prison hamlet is so right

hamlet standing there tasting blood in his mouth while everyone around him admires how kind and benevolent claudius is toward his ungrateful nephew. i would not typically ascribe the virtue of self control to hamlet but it’s kind of incredible it took him 5 acts to kill him

every time murderbot has to go on a mission with anyone other than the presaux crew it's always like "this fucking sucks, these people keep arguing with me and never do what i say. I miss my well-trained humans. Ratthi or pin-lee would follow my orders without hesitation. (Gurathin can go choke) #myhumans"

great. a chivalric order has started nesting under my porch & theres no way i can afford a warlock to come clear it out so i guess now ive got to deal with men-at-arms swearing oaths of valor right outside my window at 4 am every morning