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Aang is just fucking around with using air to waterbend, Sokka discovers liquid oxygen and promptly develops chemical rocket engines and uses them to go visit his first girlfriend, the moon.

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

If you get a compliment from a random American on the street, know that they tried their best to keep from saying a peep to you but they literally could not hold it in. They HAD to say something.

The other day a tiny gay man in a hurry bumped me on the Metro escalator and said "Sorry, great dress by the way" and then he stopped at the top of the escalator and turned around and said "AND a great hat. THAT is how we do summer!" and SPRINTED for his bus and I coasted on that for the rest of the day.

@apocrypals

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

We're all in extreme distress, he's not special.

Every time, I know what's coming, but every time, I just lose it at "Uh. That"

"Wow, you're really good at this, you should do this professionally" okay but have you considered that I don't want to because that would suck all the fun out of this thing that I do for fun and entertainment and it's actually a conscious choice to not do this professionally because that would destroy the very reason I do this to begin with

"You should monetize this hobby" You should go outside and leave me alone

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

And part of the tragedy is so many almost-moments where you wonder if Clark could have helped him. On the brink of sharing his secret, of speaking openly with Lex, of showing someone believed in him and Lex wasn't defined or doomed to be like his father - on the brink, and then turns aside. Superman's Narrative keeps his secret, and though Clark sees the good in this young Lex he has just enough doubt or hesitation that he doesn't commit to trusting Lex, and Lex can see it. And Lex of Smallville, who does want to help, who wants to be worthy of trust, is pushed further to the end he cannot escape.