hungarian having gendered language without gendered pronouns occasionally gives you some walloping information about how people view gender. i have a coworker who recently lost his very young daughter to an inoperable brain tumor. he'd been working sporadically to care for her for about a year, went on full leave when she took a turn for the worse, and is now off work on compassion leave indefinitely. and every time i tell people about this, i give no gender cues, bc there are no gendered pronouns and yet whenever i'm asked about it, people ask how my (female) coworker is doing. as though none of this would affect a father, or a father wouldn't take time off to take care of and grieve his very young child. idk man. it's weird.



























