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@pancakemoney
nobody panic I'm changing my url. except for me I'm becoming pancake

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Imo the best type of system for children to grow up in would be one that assumes the birth parents/primary guardians won't do shit and takes care of every aspect of childcare that's essential for their wellbeing and development, collectively.
But I'm just a guy who only learned how to brush his teeth properly and got glasses as a child because we had both a dentist and a doctor come to school on a regular basis. The dentist would have us all stand in a circle with our little toothbrushes and show us how to brush and correct our technique. The doctors would give us general health assessments and then have the teachers contact our patents and essentially peer pressure them into getting us any health intervention we needed. My parents only reluctantly got me glasses because they knew the teachers would judge them if they kept seeing me sit in the very front row and still squint to see the chalkboard. So I'm biased.
The only times I ever remember seeing a dentist or doctor as a child was at school. I'm quite healthy physically and I'm very grateful for all the care I got from the various professionals who cared about my well-being and development more than my actual parents did.
We had free healthcare including dental, mind you, my parents just couldn't be bothered. When my brother, as a teenager, asked our mother if she could take him to his orthodontist appointments (which he'd already arranged for on his own) she basically told him she didn't feel like it and he had to take the bus.
If I could improve anything about that system, I'd take it even further and make it so kids could see a doctor and get meds, treatments, therapy, tests, disability aids etc. without having to rely on their parents as well. I shouldn't have had to put up with being bullied and guilt-tripped about the family finances and the time investment needed to take me to the optometrist every time I needed new glasses.
Some parents would not take care of their children even if they were given all the time and the resources. Mine are a great example of that â my mother stopped working and became a homemaker when I was in kindergarten, my father worked from the garage and was also always home. They had a car and our village even had a bus that would come once or twice an hour that would take you to the next two bigger cities.
Did that, plus the free healthcare, translate into them actually parenting and caring for us properly? It did not. They only ever did any of that reluctantly when not doing it would make them look bad, and most of the time they did a shitty job because they could never resist the urge to boost their egos by means of bullying literal children.
So I have to wonder: what did they actually contribute to our upbringing? Like they didn't teach us shit and mostly they just endangered our mental and physical health â but hey, at least they gave me cPTSD! That took some work too.
see also family abolition, and youth liberation .
A knee-jerk response to neglectful parenting I see a lot is âpeople should have to get licenses and take rigorous tests to PROVE that they should be ALLOWED to have kidsâ which is eugenics. Thatâs just the starting line for eugenics.
We are at a point in humanity where there is no meaningful reason why we shouldnât be structuring our societies around wellbeing for all instead of wellbeing for the âdeservingâ.
Assume some parents will fail. Build social infrastructure that is designed to support failed kids rather than punish would-be parents.
Parents do not have to be neglectful to fail!
They can be busy, tired, stressed about finances, ignorant, etc. They can want to do the best for their kid and Fail Anyways.
The best thing is to support the children and give them the tools they need to succeed even if the parents are already giving them those tools. Because you can never learn something too much.
Also sometimes parents become disabled or die and family can't always be counted on, and sometimes there isn't other family
i hate when a book describes a pause as pregnant. get your dick out of the pause
terry pratchett is the only person who actually knew how to use a pregnant pause
Mold x calico cats!
what is it about things being gender neutral having to also be âmasculineâ. like, why can you wear a suit and tie and call it gender neutral but not a dress cause thatâs feminine. why can you call people dude or guy as a gender neutral term but not girl cause thatâs feminine. short hair is neutral but long hair is feminine. i mean i know why this is fully a rhetorical question but letâs think about that

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Seeing past the dogwhistle, and an alternative defense of "original practice"
butchhamlet rec of the day is twofold: first, this article on shakespearean productions that claim to just "trust the text," and second, one of the shows referenced in it, The Woke Tragedy of Richard III Dyke of Gloucester
...to say that Dyke of Gloucester doesnât âtrust the textâ or âunderstand the charactersâ would be to misunderstand the work of adaptation. Strong adaptation is not about mistrusting the text, but about working with it deeply, reading it in a new way. It takes no understanding to blindly recite the words as written; it takes deep understanding to analyze for moments where the language and themes can support an innovative reading. Richard III is about a king whose body is considered monstrous, and who is monsterized by extension. The connection to trans lived experience is obvious to anyone who has ever so much as eavesdropped Susan Strykerâs name. And Dyke of Gloucester is, despite a few pronoun changes and significant cutting, essentially just the original text of Richard III, directed and designed to sharpen under a particular focus. You might notice that this process of sharpening is what those in the academy call literary analysis. This is what research in my fieldâmy âtext-focusedâ fieldâlooks like: applying theoretical methods and making a coherent argument for what they can reveal. Iâm trying to imagine showing up to a seminar and saying, I actually didnât write anything, I just decided to trust the text. This is why I find it so disingenuous and self-congratulatory to refer to conservative productions as âtext-focusedâ, as if a close focus on the text could only ever reveal the least interpretive, most obvious conclusions. And of course, there is no such thing as a non-interpretive production. What is achieved by striving for non-interpretation is only an unmasking of the things which the creative team takes for granted.
Chicago the musical is mostly about the media circus but it's also about two people acquitted of the murders they very much committed getting into the worst lesbian situationship you ever did see
friend of mine recommended a video essay that's like 5 hours long about why it's currently a whole Thing for fascists to claim they only eat meat and demonize vegetables etc etc, and it's genuinely quite well researched in many places and contains some fascinating history and has made me feel very weird about my status as an adult who enjoys drinking milk. but I've not finished it and I genuinely don't know if I will because at one point the ol' "you can't say you care about animals and also eat animals" chestnut got dropped by the white vegan essayist and it put such a bad taste in my mouth that I had to leave instantly
like idk man it just feels genuinely parodic to dedicate hours to analyzing how foodways have frequently been used as white supremacist propaganda and then casually toss out an argument that pretty invariably demonizes indigenous hunting practices with 0 regard for traditional knowledge and land stewardship guiding those practices
Every time I hear a white vegan say that I want to throw the rubble of the Klamath Dams at them.
The largest dam removal in U.S. history. So successful that the salmon that havenât run freely in the river for literally over a century came back the next year. Not steady progress over a decade as expected, the very next salmon run they came home. No one alive saw salmon in that river outside the hatcheries kept by nativeâs tribes and the Department of Fish And Wildlife scientists desperately trying to save them. One of the activists who helped bring the suit spoke of their dying grandmother making them promise to bring the fish home, and they didnât know how that was possible, but they spent decades doing it.
The legal basis for successfully suing the power company who owned the dams was Indigenous treaty rights to eat the fish. Eating the fish was the one thing in a century that succeeded in being a clear and legally binding right that superseded the desires of white capital and industry. I have been going to the public interest environmental law conference off and on for 20 years where a lot of organizing for Undam The Klamath happened. Iâve heard updates about every legal tact they tried as they happened, and they tried everything.
There are healthy, thriving salmon, trout, and lamprey in a rewilding and recovering Klamath River right now as a direct result of Indigenous people eating them. Of their legally binding right to eat them. They sure as fuck care more about those fish than any white vegan ever could. They are salmon people that the Creator sent Salmon to feed, while charging the People with protecting and stewarding them. Itâs not possible to learn about salmon and trout in the Pacific Northwest without learning this, and itâs unambiguously racist to dismiss this symbiotic relationship.
The white vegans are trying to get all hunting and fishing banned in Oregon, and thatâs quite possibly the single most catastrophic thing that could be done to the animals here because we killed off all the major predators of creatures like deer and without anything hunting them their numbers will explode, eat all the vegetation, destroy the ecosystem, and then die along with everything else in that failing ecosystem. Controlled hunting of deer is vitally necessary for the deer to survive. This is something Native people know, but patronizing racist savior-complex white people refuse to listen to.
I have a whole collection of Oregonâs Public Broadcastingâs documentaries about Klamath River or the larger story of fish and people in the region. If you watch nothing else, watch Klamath Dams Are Coming Out, First Salmon Ceremony, After The Dams, and First Decent (Native made). It could not be clearer that the salmon are being protected and nourished by the people who eat them, and that stewardship is a massive part of their creation myths. But it contradicts political vegan dogma so they donât listen.
The Klamath River Runs Free
#also do you have any idea how much conservation is funded by people who want to eat those animals#at least in the us anytime someone buys ammo or hunting equipment or hunting licenses that money goes directly to state wildlife agencies
Total Solar Eclipse l Sigma Sreedharan l Burgos, Spain
A total solar eclipse is seen from San MillĂĄn de los Caballeros, Spain, Wednesday, Aug. 12, 2026.
Image Credit: NASA/Bill Ingalls

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i read an anecdote ages and ages ago from a gay person who grew up with gay parents, and struggled to find any kind of belonging in the gay community because everyone else there was bonding over having homophobic parents. everyone else was defining themselves by their suffering and oppression rather than by their sexuality, leaving this gay person to feel like they weren't really gay because they didn't have the right experiences. they wondered whether more gay people would feel this way as more children grew up with gay parents, if the gay community would leave them behind for not having suffered enough. i think about that anecdote a lot.
a lot of the current rhetoric around gender reminds me of that anecdote. a lot of people are willing to go "transgender people are oppressed for their gender presentation, therefore if you're not oppressed for your gender presentation, you're not trans." but i don't think we should be defining ourselves by our suffering and oppression. what will we do, in a few years, in a few decades, as there start to be, say, adults who were supported in their transition as children? what will we do when a stereotypical trans person can genuinely say they didn't suffer hardship for being trans?
i'm afraid i know the answer. i'm afraid that people are going to close ranks as they've already started closing ranks against intersex people, against nonbinary people, against double binary people, against closeted people. as some people have started closing ranks against people who transitioned in the opposite direction from them. as many people have closed ranks against people with edge case gender experiences. "i don't consider you to be oppressed, therefore you are not welcome to share in this community you might otherwise belong in."
i wish people would understand that we shouldn't do this. i wish people would understand that we benefit from a broader, more inclusive community more than we benefit from whatever purity testing oppression olympics it is that i keep running into.
boston driving advanced tech guide
you've probably already noticed that turn signals ("blinkahs") don't serve their usual function here - a common saying on the server is that using them as intended is just giving information to your enemies. you may be tempted to conclude that these "blinkahs" are useless. not so! they are exclusively used for parrying cars audacious enough to think they can just drive past you. the timing is a five-frame window beginning when you can first see the approaching car in your sideview mirrors. simply engage your blinkah and then immediately jump out in front of your opponent. if you get the timing right, you will build super meter. if you're too early, you've accidentally performed a safe traffic maneuver, resetting your meter to 0. if you're too late, you crash and may have to transition to direct PvP, which is outside the purview of this guide.
yellow lights can also be parried by running them, with the amount of super gained determined by how far you make it through the intersection before the light turns red. the ideal window you're aiming for here is between your front and back wheels crossing the white line
you can use your super meter to cast a variety of spells to hinder your opponents. popular meter-efficient spells include mainstays such as "Summon Double-Parked Uber Eats Driver", "Line-Skipping Merge", and "Greater Unmarked Cop". if you max out your meter, you can cast the legendary "Power Word: Storrow".
the super meter system works differently for bikes. obviously, since they lack blinkahs and run red lights anyways, they can't build super in any of the normal ways. instead, they build it up passively, since their very existence enrages every driver around them. to offset this, the spell list for bikes is a lot lower-power than the spell list for cars, mostly being focused on mobility or utility instead of offense (although there are some notable exceptions like "U-Lock Missile"). the capstone spell for bikes is, of course, "Post Misleadingly Edited GoPro Footage On Reddit".
Quincy is a PvP-enabled zone.
Official Post of Massachusetts
Talking to friends with inept parents is crazy. No wonder theyâre like this if their parents kept fumbling
âIâm having trouble adapting to my adult responsibilitiesâ well no wonder, nobody raised you đđđ
Hot tip for future parents: you actually have to guide your kid to adulthood. Feeding them and waiting for them to grow up is not enough since they are not house plants. A little more thought and care is required.
for those lacking certain "adulting" skills, especially things around the house, check out:
mom, how do i...?
and dad, how do i...?
^ there are tons of other resources but these two will teach you some personal hygiene, home or apartment repairs, easy recipes and basic cleaning techniques, even how to schedule doctor's appointments
if youre a renter i cannot recommend the trans handyma'am enough, mercury is a lifesaver, and her channel and accounts are always accepting new questions
there are so many resources, a lot that you dont have to even ask for, just know how to look 𩷠much love
put me in ur discord server so i can feel bad about never talking in there
lovely story from a friend today.
Look, this post has been wildly more popular than I thought it deserved, apparently at least in part because "don't burden others; be independent" is far more ingrained in people than I realized. So here's the thing: society works when people help each other. Helping others gives people a chance to know each other, and gives them an investment in the people they help. Helping creates bonds. People enjoy helping, and you are doing a good by letting them help you if they so wish.
Offer help; accept help. You will be a part of creating a helping culture. Which, incidentally, weakens capitalism and the fractionation between people that benefits those who would use us.
A horrifyingly few years ago I realized asking for help builds trust, too.
If I ask you for help then I demonstrate you can ask me for help.
That.
Was a difficult lesson.

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âeveryone is mad at me and they just wonât tell meâ â> âno one has said anything about being mad at me and i havenât done anything to warrant being mad at so if someone is silently fuming about me and not saying anything thatâs their problem and actually quite weird of them and i can effortlessly move on with my lifeâ
this took SUCH a huge deal of unlearning because, like so many of you, i came out of a home where being quietly in trouble WAS the default state, and i DID grow up not just with the assumption but borderline religious conviction that Everyone Is Mad At Me, I Am Bad, I Must Exist In A Constant State of Attempting to Pacify The Natural Rage I Inspire In Everyone. and no it actually turns out that my family are the freaks . and yours are too
âthis isnât true because i DEFINITELY silently fume at people in the hopes theyâll figure out what they did and apologizeâ thatâs not good. you shouldnât do that
âthis isnât true because the ex-friendship that traumatized me ended explosively after they were mad at me and never told me whyâ thatâs not good. they shouldnât be doing that
âi donât think this is true because my current friend group is constantly icing me out until i figure out what ive done to upset them and properly apologized without being toldâ hey thats not good. they should not be doing that
if the peacefulness of your relationship with someone (familial, romantic, friendly, anything) can be destroyed by effective communication/asking them for effective communication, you have got to get out of there. if you canât get out of there, youâve got to throw away any ideas about what that person thinks of you because they have their own shit to figure out before they can accurately read anyone else
good morning
Youâll need the link!
We got Musk off our land. Let's build a monument to remind him he's a sad little b**** with no friends.