trying on a metaphor
i don't do bad sauce passes
we're not kids anymore.
dirt enthusiast
Discoholic 🪩
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Claire Keane
DEAR READER
Origami Around
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Kaledo Art
tumblr dot com
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
JVL
Andulka
cherry valley forever
Xuebing Du
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@devon711heaven
i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept
hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed
the government made early mornings illegal its true just go back to sleep
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Due to my weird childhood and my weird brain, I have this very unhelpful compulsion to conceal Everything I do from Everyone. I Cannot be observed performing any action, no matter how mundane. My nervous system is convinced I'm gonna, like, Get In Trouble for eating food at dinnertime or sleeping in my bed at bedtime.
I've taken to asking myself, "Okay does this task actually require subterfuge or am I stealing a balloon on Free Balloon Day"
I see from the notes that we're all havin a normal one đź‘Ť
Xena Warrior Princess 3.18 Fins, Femmes And Gems
imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc
Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.
*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep
Oh for gods sake kids it’s like piercing an ear - that’s why you put a doorframe in - you don’t hang a door in drywall, you gremlins. You frame the door. It’s like those gauges that people put in their ears - the hole stays. It won’t scab over with a doorframe in it. You’ve lived around doors you whole life, you little clowns. Lights out
Oh my goodness what an honor to be Calvin’s dad
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I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.
reblog to disturb jk rowling
I love this post especially the rat part
going on me feed
what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post
@hellsite-hall-of-fame @hellsitegenetics @bettinalevyisdetermined @cobblecatyt @l0stn3v3rf0und
su mer lovin’ “scream at own ass”
@vocabulary-altering-posts
"let me put this object some place obvious and inconvenient so im forced to deal with it" (grows around it like a tree root around a rock)
#baby i can ignore elephants in the room in ways you cannot imagine.
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 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”
“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”
“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’
“uuuuuh hold on”
*fishes something out of my pocket*
“mikey what do i do?”
“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”
*stuffs it back in my pocket*
“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”
serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?
this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible
I need to change my whole life
losing it bc Saga went to get us lunch and tried to type “you got sprite, boss” and sent this instead. you got a spore. Bitch
literally sincerely the people's princess
why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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just hallucinated only the bottom right panel and started giggling and decided i wanted to find the real thing to laugh about it again. and i couodnt so i had to go into my boyfriends dms and ask them if "do you have truckparts"
gonna be so real i did not realize the bottom was about purchasing and shipping automobile parts. I thought they were straight up intending to kill and dismantle the UPS truck like some auto mechanic apex predator.
