I LOVE YOU CORDELIA CUPP!! I LOVE YOU!! SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME!!
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Jules of Nature

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almost home
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DEAR READER

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@detbenoitcupp
I LOVE YOU CORDELIA CUPP!! I LOVE YOU!! SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME!!

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sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis
Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries βmon dieu!!!β before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying βah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!β and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement
Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.
Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later
Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.
Cordelia Cupp figures out you're trans and keeps dropping cryptic references until it becomes useful to her, at which point she talks to you about it, promises not to tell anyone, and immediately tells her boss as proof you didn't do it
One of the effect of elementary watson being a woman on sherlock is that hes always making caveats about murder suspects like a man caved his skull in. Or a woman. women can also cave skulls in π he set the building on fire. Or she. I would never imply women cant set building on fire
I hate adaptions that try to add a romantic angle to the Sherlock Holmes/Irene Adler relationship, partially because he is gay, mostly because she is massively out of his league.
IT IS SO FUNNY, SHE REALLY DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM, at best she finds him mildly amusing. I wrote that I think sheβd call him βlittle buddyβ in a modern AU and Iβm rightttttt.
EXACTLYYYYYY
Sherlock Holmes having a universal ace experience -- expressing disinterest and immediately getting called an inhuman robot.
#images#sherlock holmes#sorry i don't turn rabid and marry the prettiest girl in sight at the push of a button my dear watson
Watson is like "of course I proposed marriage to a girl I met two days ago, I'm normal and make rational decisions"
#I read this part just the other day#He literally proposes within two days itβs crazy
Every Sherlock Holmes remake that tries to make Watson the straight man does him a great injustice. Mfer is a total madlad. Everyone's like "oh he's not addicted to hard drugs and doesn't do chemistry experiments in his bedroom for fun" there are subtler ways to be completely unhinged.
The thing is, Watson may or may not instigate the Situations & Shenanigans, but he voluntarily spends most of his Sherlock Holmes, who DOES!
ββNormalββ people do not do that.
Watson will show up at Holmes' place and be like "are you doing any investigations of super weird shit today" and Holmes will be like "yes I am cornering this dangerous mass murderer, you should come and bring your gun in case anyone tries to shoot us" and Watson will do it without question, thinking "I'm so glad he's got something wholesome to distract himself with so he doesn't take more cocaine".

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"comparing apples and oranges" has always been funny to me as an expression because people's go to exampe of two things so radically different that they defy any useful comparison are apples. and oranges. like you would struggle to find a more comparable pair of objects than that. theyre literally sold right next to each other in most stores.
I haven't eaten anything and I'm hungry. there might be a connection here and I'm trying to get to the bottom of this
daily affirmations for college students
im doing great
my teeth and claws are very sharp
i can kill ai with my mind
the professor is more scared of me than i am of them
theres no surprise test on friday
no one can tell i have a tumblr blog
my roommates dont hate me
salmon burguers on sale
Opera plot: Local Noble realizes that his affections for Pretty Village Girl have a rival in the form of Honest Laborer. Having read enough romances to know that a girl asked to choose between a rich man and a poor man will always pick the poor man, whereas in a love triangle between two rich men it's anyone's game, he decides that his chief object must be to elevate his rival's wealth and status as quickly as possible. What the Compte de Genre-Savie over here forgot to account for, however, was the overwhelming power of the Pygmalion Effect, and now he has to deal with watching two people he's in love with develop ever-stronger feelings for each other. Eventually all of this resolves via...I don't know.
#first of all: ''comte de genre-savie'' is PERFECT. just great. absolutely no notes.#I would love an opera with this exact plot. bonus points if the comte is genuinely genre savvy#he keeps bringing up opera tropes only for the other characters to look at him like he's insane.#the score is diagetic to him; when he points out reoccurring themes or transitions to minor keys#the other characters ask him what the hell he's talking about. the whole chorus gets together to sing about how#comte de genre-savie is going mad. the comte tries to sneak away and keeps getting pulled back in.#I wonder if you could even push it further - have it so that only the comte can speak or 'hear' spoken words;#all other characters communicate in recitativo secco or formally composed songs#then you can have scenes where the comte is speaking but the other character in the scene can't hear him.#this can be played for laughs (the comte tries to order something from a shopkeeper; the shopkeeper walks away as he's talking)#and for dramatic effect (the Honest Laborer is singing a heartfelt duet with the Pretty Village Girl#and neither of them can hear the comte saying 'I love you' in between their lines)#........I am into this actually. I had to convince myself that this wasn't just cyrano de bergerac but no. it isn't. I'm into it.#upon the stage (via @notbecauseofvictories)

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I think the aromantic tag should have its own valentine's day animation where instead of piercing through the heart, the cupid's arrow just. bounces off. sorry bud, you're not getting in there. it's extra solid love immune heart. fuck off.
The fucking horse girls are trying to recruit me
Horses in blood
horsemiaβ¦
Blanc and his Watsons ππ
i know iβm late to the party, but the fact that Prentice Wicks, when ensuring his daughter would never get his promised fortune, chose to spend it all to buy a useless rock, instead of actually donating it to charity or giving to the poor. it really speaks of how much it was just about hurting Grace. it serves nothing and no one, it is a petty, cruel act of a hateful man.

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the release order of this trilogy is so fucking funny to me because in knives out blanc is absolutely done with marta's shit but then glass onion happens and i can practically hear him thinking "noooo i want my lousy murderer back this one fucking sucks" and then mr. jud duplenticy is like "hey β‘ i couldn't help but overhear that thoughtβ " and then he has to spend another goddamn movie stopping some guilt-ridden idiot from confessing every 2 seconds looking like this :
im crying they even have the same hairstyle
i know iβm late to the party, but the fact that Prentice Wicks, when ensuring his daughter would never get his promised fortune, chose to spend it all to buy a useless rock, instead of actually donating it to charity or giving to the poor. it really speaks of how much it was just about hurting Grace. it serves nothing and no one, it is a petty, cruel act of a hateful man.