swamp ophelia

i mean! orgasms are fine? sometimes i actively feel the need for one and i make it happen and it's nice! but have you ever seen a page of talmud????

and the babylonian one alone is almost THREE THOUSAND PAGES long??? and again, we've been studying it for over a thousand years and still find new things to say about it all the time???

"To think I should have lived to hear my daughter swearing!" sobbed Mrs. Frederick,

"It—it was only imitation swearing," faltered Cousin Stickles, desirous of smoothing things over now that the worst was out. But she had never told about the bannister.

"It will be only a step from that to real swearing," said Uncle James sternly.

-

"Why?" asked Valancy slyly, with one of her odd, slanted glances and a sudden flake of pink on each cheek, born of the thought that Barney Snaith had actually done so much for her. "I often feel like damning things myself."

-

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Okay, to start with. I really really really want a film made of this! Valancy standing in the garden at dusk, the car rattling through the trees, Barney springing out…

His eyes, which she had always thought brown, now seen close, were deep violet - translucent and intense…

-He had dimples in his thin cheeks when he smiled…

When is it a good time to mention that I had a mild crush on Barney myself?? Probably round about here, right?

Anyway, can we just note that he smiles at Valancy?

When he said good-evening you felt that it was a good evening and that it was partly his doing that it was. Also, you felt that some of the credit was yours.

I’ve always found this a teeny bit odd. It’s kind of ooc for Barney, and a little bit ooc for Valancy, too? Barney’s a lot of things, but he’s not flirtatious or charming - definitely not to a stranger. This feels like L.M Montgomery just writing about an impression someone once made on her? Maybe? Anyway.

“Will you get some salt codfish for us?” said Valancy.

Here you go, ladies and gentlemen and the fine spectrum between and beyond. The most romantic greeting line to ever be uttered to the love of your life.

I could happily write out this whole exchange - Barney’s dry self-awareness of Lady Jane’s faults (she always gets back some time), Valancy knowing he’ll bring oranges for Cissy regardless of whether she asks.

“You’re a whole cartload of bricks…”

Barney, Barney, Barney. That is not a romantic thing to say. You don’t know it yet, but this woman is going to fall so head-over-heels in love with you, and you’re already starring as the hero in her Blue Castle. You poor man. You’re not even trying to woo her.

And then, Barney offering to help her if Abel’s annoying! Casually mentioning that he told Abel to stop singing his crude songs! He’s a completely normal not-dashing hero and it WORKS.

Also -

“Cissy and I just went to our room and shut ourselves in where we couldn’t hear him.”

I’m sorry, Valancy, but I don’t believe you. That house isn’t big, Abel is LOUD, and the walls aren’t like six metres and made of stone, are they? You could probably hear him from the forest.

“I often feel like damning things myself.”

For a moment Barney stared.

He has had his first insight into the wicked Valancy that Abel has no doubt talked about for hours at length.

And then he laughs!

And then we have Valancy falling in love with him for the next few paragraphs-

But then she liked everything about him-his tawny hair - his whimsical smiles - the little glints of fun in his eyes - his loyal affection for that unspeakable Lady Jane - his habit of sitting with his hands in his pockets, his chin sunk on his breast, looking up from under his mismated eyebrows.

I WANT A FILM. This would be, like, the montage of scenes. It could be like the 2019 version of Little Women…

It reminded her of John Foster…

If you know it-

“Piffle,” said Barney.