Squish

Full pic:

The first step is always to review that kink meme's rules. Most of them will be common sense--don't bash, don't out another poster, stay on topic, etc. But it's always good to check in case there's something you didn't expect (ex: some kink memes require you to put certain trigger warnings in the title of a request).

TO REQUEST:

Find the active prompt post. Many kink memes for larger fandoms will have multiple prompt posts. When one gets too long, mods will close it to new requests and start a new one. They will usually try to make it very clear which is the active one. Here's an example from the Dragon Age kink meme:

Part 8 is where you go to prompt. Other parts may still be open for fills, but are closed for new prompts. Here's another example from the Mass Effect kink meme:

Here, the current post is stickied to the top of the page, and is tagged "current part" to let you know it's the active prompt post.

2. Once you select the right prompt post, make sure you're replying to the prompt post itself, not to someone else's comment. DW pages vary in style, but that reply button can reliably be found at the bottom of the page. Here's another example from the DAO page:

The "reply" option WITHIN that bottom request will respond directly to that comment. The "reply" option in the bar at the bottom will reply to the entire thread. That's the one you want to hit.

Here's another example from The Silmarillion kink meme:

And one more from Middle-earth kink:

3. Okay so you've hit reply and you're ready to type out your idea. The one most important requirement of all kink memes is anonymity. Anonymity in requests, and in posting. Even if you feel comfortable posting with your username attached, you need to post anonymously. You can de-anon somewhere else and even link to that, but the post on the kink meme should be anonymous. That's where this button comes in:

"More options." You hit that, and you'll get the option to make an anonymous post:

And now you're really ready to go. Put something short and descriptive in the title (Ex: "Kirk/Spock Coffee Shop AU" or "Iron Bull get pegged") and give a longer description (as needed) in the body. Requests can be as short as a sentence or as long as several paragraphs--whatever you feel like is necessary.

Make sure to include any "do not wants" here! If you aren't sure what that means, check below.

NB: Generally, it's considered polite to keep a reasonable ratio of requests::fills. That is, if you're making a lot of requests, you should be trying to fill some from others. It doesn't have to be only fic either--if you're better at drawing than writing, a fanart fill most often works too!

TO FILL:

Okay, so there's requests...but say you find an idea you really like and you want to give OP a fill. It's going to be the same deal as before, except in the body of your post you'll put the fic rather than a request. DW has a character limit per comment, so it's not unusual to break even a relatively short fill into multiple posts. Nor do you have to post the whole fill at once--updating as you do with a fic elsewhere is totally fine. Here's what it will look like when multiple fill posts nest:

And that's really all there is to the basics! DW is an older, more barebones site, so if you're accustomed to the newer web, it may seem clunky and hard to navigate, but once you've posted a time or two it will seem very simple and the kink meme community is a lot of fun!

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

"Do not derail" - Generally it's common courtesy on the kink meme not to derail a request. That is, if someone wants "A/B outdoor temple sex" it's considered rude to comment "Would love to see this with A/C!" If you like the idea but want something changed, it's better to just post your own request, even if it's very similar.

Asking for clarification - It's totally fine if you want to ask OP for clarification on a point before making a fill. Keeping it anonymous, you can just respond to the original prompt to see if they meant X or Y, or if they would be okay with Z thing in the fic.

"Bonus" requests - It's pretty common to see "bonus" requests in a prompt. That is, things OP would like to see, but are fine not receiving. You can put as many of these as you like in your requests, and as a filler, can choose to include or not include as many of them as you want. Here's what that might look like:

5. DNW - "Do not wants." This is where you put anything that would be a deal-breaker for you: something that would cause you to not read the fic at all, or not to enjoy it. Again, you can put as many as you want, or none. Here are some examples of that:

6. Commenting!! - If someone fills your prompt, you should make sure to thank them! Even if the fill wasn't exactly what you wanted, it's nice to find something kind to say about it, since someone spent the time to write something for you. And of course, feel free to comment even if the prompt wasn't yours!

7. Multiple fills - There is absolutely no problem with doing multiple fills on a prompt! If the prompt inspires you, go for it! I've definitely written fills for prompts that already had two or three fills. Usually, OP is delighted to have more than one fill ^.^ I think it's really interesting to see where different authors take the same prompt, and some prompts are open to a variety of characters.

8. Fill posts - Some kink memes also have a separate "fill post," somewhere you drop links to fills. This is just a neat way of collecting them, so if you fill a prompt, try to drop a link there, just to get more eyes on it!

9. De-anoning - So you've written a fill anonymously, but you want to share on your AO3/tumblr/Twitter/wtv. Feel free! You can out yourself as the author of a fill wherever else you want, and "de-anon from the kink meme" was a pretty common author's note to see back in the day. You can even comment on the original kink meme fill with a link to other places you've posted it. Personally, I usually come back and drop an AO3 link to any fills I crosspost.

10. Timing - Some kink memes are quite old, with requests going back 10+ years. The OP of that prompt may no longer be checking it, but that shouldn't stop you from filling the prompt if you like it--you're almost sure to find another audience owo

11. Alerts - DW is pretty limited in the "notifications" you can receive from it, but if you have or make a DW account and want to get notified of updates on a kink meme, you'll want to first subscribe to that page.

(I'm already subscribed here, but that little journal will show a green checkmark if you aren't yet subscribed, and you just hit that so that any new posts on the meme will go into your DW feed.)

However, because kink memes operate more on comments than posts, you'll also want to get alerts for any new comments from the active prompt post. Find the active prompt post, and hit this bell button:

You'll get this pop-up:

And you can go ahead with the email notif, or if you're like me and want DW notifications to stay on DW and out of my email, hit "More Options" and uncheck the email notif. This way, any new comments will only show up in your DW inbox as an unread message.

And that's everything! Or at least everything I can think of. If you have another question please feel free to comment. I think kink memes are a lot of fun and I hate to think of anyone unable to participate because they're not familiar with the format.

Enjoy!

Kink memes in this post (+ some others):

Dragon Age main page (Origins, II, Inquisition)

Middle-earth kink

Silm kink meme

Arcane kink meme

Mass Effect kink