fighting and screaming my way through the void

[image descriptions: two twitter screenshots. the first is a post by Kingfisher & Wombat and reads: "O best beloved, if you are doomscrolling twitter today, ask yourself if there is anything you personally do. If there is, do it. If there isn't, remember that anxiety is not activism. Your misery does not improve the world a single iota." the second is from the same person replying to themself, reading: "You are not required to wallow in despair to prove your humanity. Better to go and work on something you can fix right now." end image descriptions.]

And remember that reblogging a bunch of alarmist headlines or someone else's panicky reacttion to them does not count as doing something about the problem.

there is no work there is only fun there is no good it is only done

feeling happy can also feel scary when you’ve become unfamiliar with feeling happy. that’s okay. there’s nothing wrong with feeling scared. just know that the happiness will get easier to experience as it happens more and more. sorry, this was kind of a word vomit. i don’t know if it makes sense.

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl who desperately wants to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

I think you need hobbies that do all four things but the number of hobbies needed to cover all these needs may vary. Some hobbies pull double/triple duty. Some hobbies can cause repetitive stress injuries so it's good to have a few different ones that fulfill the same need so you can rotate to get the fulfillment without the carpal tunnel.

Misread this as 'you need to have 4 hobbits'

ten years ago you were so scared of such different things, but you survived them anyway. the same goes for five years ago and two years ago. everything that has ever felt like a hurdle, you’ve passed through. so be afraid, identify your fears, and then allow yourself to remember that in just a little while, this will be another thing that you have overcome.

holding yourself accountable and tearing yourself down are two different things

how to do it (asking seriously)

be aware of what you’ve done wrong. forgive yourself and learn from it rather than beating yourself up over it and thinking it’s just a part of you that can’t be changed. know that you can’t go back and undo it but also that in the future you can do better and not repeat the same regret. self hatred stemming from regret is hard to control, but it can be managed with patience and practice.

I…need to remember this. Thank you.

But seriously, if you keep pushing yourself past your mental or physical limits, it will catch up with you. You cannot live forever on three hours of sleep and caffeine and willpower. You cannot keep overpowering your very natural need to relax and recharge. If you don't treat both with care and respect, at some point your brain and your body will reach a point of breakdown and burnout - and any mental or physical conditions you may have tried to ignore and power through will kick your ass. So take that goddamn nap or that break now. Don't wait for yourself to shatter and fall apart before you tend to the cracks in your body and mind. Just because you may have the choice to ignore your limits right now doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Take care of yourself now or you WILL regret it.